Hate to sound like a broken record but... memory trouble confusing me in life...

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Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 9/18/2008 6:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all, I'm Paul... you all know me probably -.- from my various posts of pity and fear of the past... being on medications, not being on them, etc etc... I've just been so down about my memory/organization skills lately... 95 days off booze is something I know but it's just for the past few weeks I've been like so down on myself because I feel retarded that so many people can remember things but I can't... like if I read something off a piece of paper especially when pressured or when I start thinking about too many times or a schedule I freak out when I realize I can't do it... even right now I'm shaking about it... I'm autistic by the way all... people say I have too much free time but even when I'm doing things I am haunted by this feeling so it's not that! I just feel sooo darn stupid sometimes and that I can't fix things myself... and so on... I get overwhelmed... MAN IT AIN'T FAIR >_<
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 9/18/2008 6:46 AM (GMT -7)   

Paulos,

Free time is not a gift. Don't let anyone fool you that it is. It just gives you time to dwell. What is it that haunts you? I am familiar with that feeling ..share if you like or email me. I will answer. No it's not fair..but we take what we are given and bollock on!! eyes

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/18/2008 6:56 AM (GMT -7)   

Paul,

Good Morning.  Are on medications? The medication will slow down your mind.

Also you are still recovering from the alcohol and you have to give yourself time for your body to readjust to life without alcohol.

Don't feel alone as I am changing meds right now and  I find focusing sometimes difficult but I laugh at myself and my goofy snafus.

Don't let others talk you into thinking you are doing something wrong.  You are doing great.

Hugs

Kitt


 

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percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 9/19/2008 2:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, Paulos, I wanted to let you know that my BF has memory difficulties too. I think of him as just being "wired" differently from how I am - in fact, from how most people I know are. I hope sharing our story will help you to find some comfort for your own discouragement:

It was tough on us at first, because I was frustrated that he didn't seem to pay attention to things that mattered to me, even after I told him they did. I couldn't help but interpret it as him not really caring about what was important for me. As we've been together longer, I realize that he truly does just think differently from what I expect, from what I'm used to. Yes, it may even cause him difficulties in his daily life, but it doesn't take away from all the other things that are wonderful about him. I've learned to be more patient and also accepting of his weak memory, and less critical of the things he needs to do to remember, even when those things drive me nuts or get in my way. For instance, he has to leave things sit out right in the middle of the counter, or the table, or even the floor sometimes, or else he'll forget that he needs to take care of them (bills, say, or notes about appointments, or items that need to be repaired). It's not like what other people do, and it did bother me a lot at first, but it's what *works* for him. He also carries a huge pocket datebook, the biggest I've ever seen, and doesn't go anywhere without it. He'll let me write things in it that are important for both of us to be doing, like dinner with a friend, but it's really just for him, and if anybody else writes too much in it, he gets distracted. So I've been thinking about how he copes and how I could share some of those ideas with you.

I'm encouraging you, dear friend, to give yourself permission to do the things that help you remember what's important, even if it's not the way other people remember, or if it seems weird or bothersome. You may feel that others are judging whether your methods are good enough, but what really matters is whether you are able to function independently, not *how* you set things up to enable that. Those who really care about you will choose to adjust themselves, especially when they see that your methods are best and most comfortable for *YOU*. A poor memory may make difficulties in your life, but you have shown over and over how adaptable you are, and you have the skills to create an approach that helps you cope. Yes, your memory may not be good, but that doesn't mean that *YOU* are not good. There is so much else that's marvellous about you, and that you share with those in your life. I am always so proud to know you, even when you may be feeling very low about yourself.

Love and hugs,
percycat

Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 9/23/2008 12:57 AM (GMT -7)   
I see... thank you for your responses all... I thought after 100 days off booze I would feel clearer and better... it's just... drat... and the Xanax I take may be making my memory worse... probably is knowing my luck, darn it I can't win.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 9/23/2008 8:06:30 AM (GMT-6)

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