Understanding the feelings

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happyvel
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 9/26/2008 8:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Today was a better day. I stop and think about everything that is going on and it makes me scared. So I come on here and read others post and I try what others post to help them. Sometimes when the stress takes hold. I just want to scream. But I know that I have some great friends even if i don't know them that well. (those of you on here). And, then there is Jason (he is a true gem). I try not to lean on him so much. Because i have to over come all this anxiety on my own. For years I have battled this. Alot of it came about from my child hood and what my mother did to me. And, growing up without a father, or one that didn't want nothing to do with me. And, then the high school years and then getting married and having children. The stress from the mental and physcial abuse. Just about did me in. But I'm a fighter. I want so much more in my life. And, I know that I can find happiness and be a better person from this disease. idea
I know there is so many out there that are battling so much. And, sometimes I feel I'm being selfish with myself. And, more I find I'm trying to spread myself to far to help others. And, I'm not facing my own. And, then the nightmares come back. And the self doubt comes back. So then I find myself beating myself up. And, putting myself down. So then the Anxiety and panic attacks come on. So then I find myself fighting an endless battle. shakehead
 
Sometimes I find myself thinking about what to post here. And, I think those people don't want to hear your problems. they have better things to do. But, then I think. wow they commented back and told me things that has helped them. Or things that I can try that will help me. I want to thank each and everyone of you that has responsed. my heart goes out to each and everyone that battles this disease every day.
 
I keep each one of you in my prayers. May God bless you and keep you safe.
 
Love, your friend, Velvet
Be all you can be
Vel
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/27/2008 3:18 AM (GMT -7)   

Vel,

We are here to listen, support and give you helpful info when we can.  You came here to talk to people so never think your problems are not important enough.  Everyone has a different set of circumstances in their lives.

I do not believe for one second that you are selfish, so please keep posting and know you are now a part of the HW Family. ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

Bless you
Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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hostas
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 9/27/2008 9:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello Happyvel.  I'm new at all this so I don't know if anything I can type will help.  But I don't think it can hurt.  I'm trying to research my way out of having panic attacks and feeling nervous.  Of course seeing a Dr. is important, also talking or typing is helpful.  I found some comfort in some free programs.  I know that there are a lot of different websites out there.  One I found helpful was the free emails from www.stresscenter.com by Lucinda Bassett.  She sells a complete program but it was more than I can spend right now.  I haven't worked in a couple of months and had a ton of Dr. bills to pay from some other health issues.  That' when my anxiety and panic attacks started.  There's also free emails with info from www.panicyl.com.  You can get live support without purchasing a thing.  I'm not promoting any service or product.  I'm just sharing free helpful information and support.  My Mom got me a book yesterday called "Starting Your Best Life Now" by Joel Osteen.  It's a Christian approach to improving your life even if you don't have panic attacks.  I'm finding that some of the same things that are said at the above mentioned websites are mentioned in this book.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  A bible quote that comes quite often into my mind is "I came so you might have life, and have it more abundantly".  When I'm having a panic attack i say this bible verse over and over again "Fear not, I go before you always.  Come follow Me and I will give you rest".  May God Bless you richly for fighting the good fight.

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 9/27/2008 6:30 PM (GMT -7)   

happy vel,

Anxiety can sometimes make us feel as if we are selfish because it makes us so inwards focused, but I can assure you, you are not selfish okay? It's just part of the illness. I have days when I am so overcome with self doubt I can't speak or leave the house and then other days when I'm bouncing around like a happy bunny. You have to be gentle with yourself and try not to beat yourself up about it.

None of us asked for this devil illness and because it is not an obvious physical illness it is difficult for other people to understand it. You are among caring, supportive people here who do understand and please at any time feel free to share how you are feeling. We get it!

Hugs,

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 9/27/2008 8:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Vel,

You are most definitely worthwhile here! You don't have to always be offering advice to someone else to help them out. When each of us posts about our own problems and difficulties, we really are giving the others a chance to feel needed and valued. It's true! And we all go through an ebb and flow of needing to focus just on the issues in our own lives for a bit and then later having a bit more energy and freedom to respond to others.

Don't worry about being judged here, or about judging yourself. Post about whatever you're thinking or feeling, and enjoy the great sense of community. We're glad you're here!

percycat

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/28/2008 8:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Vel

You have gotten great input from the others
I just want to reinterate that you are always welcome to post anything that is bothering you ( rules in mind lol)
and NO we do NOT judge anyone here
As was said we did not ask for this DD but we as a whole can fight like HADES to kick it to the curb taking
Baby steps if we need to ........

I have never been more cared about nor supported than from here .

THIS truly is a unique group of caring and giving ppl IMHO and so I say to you keep posting and I know we can help you thru this
I have been helped thru so much over my time here

God Bless

"FOOTPRINTS" is something you should read
I love that story and it gives me all kinds of
Strength and will to wake to any challenge thrown my way daily

Be well
Vent away we all do at one time or another

Your HW "Family"

LYN


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    


happyvel
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 9/28/2008 5:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I want to thank each and everyone of you. I'm not really feeling like myself today. I have been having alot of pain in my side. I have went to the doctor and he said it was really bad scared tissue. Jason thinks its a pulled muscle. I'm not sure what it is. But it does hurt. The doctor gave me pain meds. But I hate the way they make me feel so I hate taken them.
 
I just really feel depressed today and I'm not sure what is causing it. I get to where I just feel unhappy with myself and I just clam up and don't talk to no one. I know that is not a smart thing to do. But after having so much mental abuse it is how I do. I just hide within myself and not let no one near. I have found that typing here and just letting my feelings go and type whatever comes to mind helps. Sometimes I'm afraid to come back and read the responses. But, I have found I can't wait to get back to see what you all have typed back. Because I feel you won't judge me and if you do, maybe that is what I really need hear what you all have to tell me.
 
I start my new job, Tuesday. I'm excited but yet i'm scared to death. I'm so afraid that I will get there and go into a panic attack. And, when I feel like this I just feel like climbing into my closet and not coming out. I think I hide alot. I don't like leaving my house. Because I'm just terrified of what the world is going to do. Does this make sense to anyone? mad  
 
Today is a day I just feel like pulling my hair out and just screamming to the top of my lungs..... Or just curling up and going to sleep and never waking up. smhair
Be all you can be
Vel
 

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