Long story short (sort of) - have had issues with anxiety for years. 10 years ago I graduated from college, moved to a big city, broke up with my boyfriend of five years and lost my dad within a few months. Started feeling dettached, having panic attacks. Developed chronic hives, eventually through treatment got back on track. Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis a few years ago, was very sick but now in remission. Have been going through fertility treatments for the past few years, has been very stressful. Lost a pregnancy two years ago, then 8 weeks ago we lost a pregnancy at 20 weeks (we had a surrogate carrying our baby, long story.) Very traumatic - we had gone to the appointment to find out baby's sex only to find out baby had passed away. A week later I kept my scheduled tonsillectomy. Got really sick a few days later, lung infection that the docs couldn't fix. Hospitalized 8 days, sent home to try to get well. Two weeks later finally lungs felt better but traumatic event caused a disorder called "Vocal cord dysfunction." Now going to speech therapist to learn to breathe and relax my vocal cords. Here is my question - I've been getting the chronic hives again so I know my body is stressing (and my mind I suppose.) I have been given high doses of steroids in the hospital then again a week or two ago for the hives. Take Benadryl and have Xanax that I take as needed. Even with two benadryl and a Xanax I will still have the hives. I am beginning to feel like a shell of myself, like I have no emotion and do not care about anything. I take Lexapro and my doc doubled it a week and a half ago. Does this sound like depression or is it my extreme anxiety? I know I am anxious and just don't realize it b/c that is what triggers the hives. But on the same hand I feel like an empty person who can't find find the person who used to be me. Hope this makes sense, and sorry for the ramble. This was the short version!!! Appreciate any advice.
34 year old female, Diagnosed Ulcerative Colitis 5 years ago
Current Meds: Remicade every 6 weeks, Prevacid, Lialda, Lexapro (anxiety), Synthroid, Symbalta, Sustenex, Iron, vitamins, Fish Oil