Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 11/15/2008 11:21:38 AM (GMT-7)
One of my biggest successes was crawling back out of the dark hole in 2006 which was the worst episode I have ever gone through with my A & P and Depression.
Now I try to stay in the moment, know my triggers and cry when I need too.
I accept everyday that is a good day and the not so good days I work hard at making them better.
I am glad there is this thread as I was thinking the other day of starting a thread saying how good I feel instead of only posting when I feel bad.
Six months after release from hospitalization for overwhelming anxiety which basically caused me to become catatonic, I am finally, just last week, feeling completely back to my old self. My anxiety was finally zapped with Zyprexa about a month after I got out of the hospital. I took a cocktail of Lexapro, Depakote, and Lamictal with Zyprexa only needed every week to ten days. I eventually stopped the Depakote on my own as I didn't need the constant hunger and hair loss. about two weeks ago we added Wellbutrin to the mix and that was the step that finally did it, I am back to "normal", whatever that is for me. No lingering anxiety, no hopelessness, no body aches and pains. I have to take alot of meds to be this way but it's all worth it. So for all of you still looking for the right mix, there is hope! (I am bipolar).
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 10/15/2008 2:29:19 PM (GMT-6)
I have a ton of success stories as I have overcome so many little issue that seemed like monsters and I have overcome the real monsters in me.
I have mini panic attacks, I beat myself up alot when I feel weak, and I am the first to cut myself down, but then I found HW and my dear Mentor was there to tell me to keep on going, just lose the "stinkin thinkin" and I needed that. I wrote many posts when I was in tears as talking to others and helping others would help me become grounded and get my mind back into the real world and know I was a good person and not stupid.
I lived through the death of my father when I was 39 and he was 72. He died of pancreatic cancer. I was his only child and I lost so much that day but I did proud by him as he would have wanted me too. I kept my promise to him to take care of my stepmother. I honored his wish and then 5 years later went through her heart disease and cancer and eventually she moved from Wisconsin to live with us. She moved in Saturday and died at my kitchen table on Monday. I would often think, "Why me" but then realized I did not have time for letting in those kinds of thoughts. It happened and I would do my best to deal with it.
Then the worst thing in the world happened, our 21 year old son died in a car crash. I think perhaps I never got through that but I said and did all the right things so now all these many years I am learning to honer his life and not mourn his death.
I have learned to not panic everytime the phone rings as it is usually a wrong number and no this is not the number for the sober cab .
I have learned to accept others as they are and not expect them to be perfect. I have given my self permission not to be perfect.
I am thankful for every day I can make a difference in the lives of others. I am thiankful for every time I can make someone smile or take some of their pain away.
I am glad to be alive.
Thank you for being here for me. To you Big Sis, I am so grateful for having you in my life as I can celebrate 2 Thanksgivings. Hugs
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
my success is proving my first pyschiatrist wrong. at 14yrs of age, he told me my A/P was too severe to ever lead a normal,productive life, or be a functioning member of society. he painted a very bleak picture, made me out to be an emotional invalid and to ready myself for a life of living at home and never getting out and living my life.
WELL: i left home @ 18. i began my nursing training. as much as i loved nursing, i kept failing chemistry so i hesitantly quit my nursing degree and switched over to teaching. i nursed my way through college, in Oncology.
I didnt just graduate from college- i graduated with TWO degrees and a career that i have enjoyed for the last 3 years. when i struggle with my A/P, i remember that I can do anything through God who strengthens me. i refuse to be a statistic. yes, i have a horrible illness, but i wont let it define me.
..A bit back I had made a list of things I HAD to get checked out with Health
..Eyesite.......wear galasses but need stronger ones....Have appointment Dec 13th
...Hearing.....Done twice second was today ...Got fitted for Hearing Aid /Disability pays
...DX my pain Meds with Doc on Board......Have been decreasing by 20 mg daily
....Well today I have found out I have No.. none... nada... nil.. hearing in left ear and only 40% in the right ear........YES I cried.I knew it all along but when you are given a difinitive DX it makes it REAL......I am going to have to wear a hearing aid in my good ear but nothing can help the L one.......I have already mourned today as I love to listen to NATURE and animals.My hearing will be gone but dont know when due to nerve damge from a mistake made in my TX of PG...I can barely hear my Birds...My babies
Reflecting upon this I will listen and listen as best as I can to hear all there is out there an in my home and listen to Cait .........I have the ability to get down and depressed over this OR I have the ABILITY to ACCEPT and take it as it comes.......Many have it worse than I and that makes me know I will not give into depression......I WILL GET THRU THIS with you supporting and caring about me as per the norm in this Family and I will continue to try and help those that want my help and support........It makes all this more worthwhile
**On the plus side I will have it before Christmas so I get an early present**
......Yes all small steps but still steps IMHO and I have or I am acheiving what I had set out to do
........................What about YOU.................Care To Share...................................
..........Luvs to all ............LYN ..........Loves Lil sis .......Big sis ..........S.I.S.
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/4/2008 6:37:53 AM (GMT-7)
Hey Big Sis and all,
I am off to the Pdoc tomorrow and I have nada to say as I do not want to be talked into more meds.
So I will tell her I am doing well and then I might get a reprieve til January.
My sister is back at the U of MN..............so now we continue on in a calm rational way and whatever is decided will be her decision. I can live with that...........it is her wishes.
Love ya all