When You Lose The Career You Love Due to This DD / Or Other Chronic Illness

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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/13/2008 4:40 AM (GMT -7)   
....I was talking with Lil sis
And we discussed how empty at times we felt
 from having to stop Nursing due to illnesses or anxiety and panic
I know it was my life my dream fulfilled
I also know I miss it so much
At different times
And go into a depression
 
....It definitely is a darn hard thing to go thru IMHO and
I was wondering if there are others out there that feel the way we do
 
Please post if you care too ..........
 
Talking about it seemed to help me yeah ........LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    


debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 10/14/2008 4:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, in my first "career" I was a legal consultant to the DOT here in Texas, and my employer was very, very patient with me. So I didn't lose anything there, and toward the end of it is when I started feeling better. It's a long story why, but basically feeling better coincided with quitting that gig and going into the family business.

Essentially, I'm in charge of the Dallas/Fort Worth area, which as you can probably guess is absolutely enormous. There are days in which I just cannot go where I need to go. Almost always I get done what I HAVE to get done, but I need to do more than that in order to make a solid living.

A few months ago I broke up with my girl, and it took five or six weeks to settle in. Since then I've kind of regressed, which has put a direct hit on my income. And the timing's not very good in this economy, obviously. This being a family business I won't get fired or anything, and I can't exactly walk away from it, either. In some ways I'm losing it, though.

How do I deal with it? Well, I just do the best I can. It's hard because I know I should be doing better and I have very, very high expectations of myself. That's a double-edged sword, of course. High expectations can motivate one to get better, but they can also cause a lot of guilt when they aren't realized. Still, I try to be kind to myself. When I fail to do that is when I have the worst problems, and that's been too often of late.

As long as I don't run out of money (I'm part of the family business but am essentially on my own up here, so it's really like being in business for myself), I should probably count my blessings. There are jobs I've had in the past I probably would've had to give up. I feel for people who do. I mean, I complain in my head about having to go all the way to the West side of Fort Worth...what if I was a truck driver or something? I'd have to give that up for sure, I believe.

Maybe this isn't really appropriate to say with the economy the way it is, but I think there's a job out there for everyone. Mine is perfect for me. I don't have to punch a clock or anything of that nature, and I would imagine it's the cubicle type gigs that really get to people with anxiety. When I was a consultant I had this tiny little office, but I could come and go when I pleased. But there's something out there for everyone, although nothing is easy.
www.brainfriendenemy.com/


bookworm21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 10/15/2008 8:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Because of my ulcerative colitis, I couldn't go to my "dream college" and I can't pursue any of the careers I wanted to b/c they're unstable or too stressful, etc. And now I have no idea what I want to/should do.

Buddha443556
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 293
   Posted 10/15/2008 11:25 AM (GMT -7)   
After taking care of my mother for the last ten years, I have no idea what to do. I'm in lousy shape to do anything. Everything that I was once interested in seem meaningless. I hardly talk to anyone any more. about the only human contact I have is at the Rescue Mission and here. I've given up looking for a job or even help ... I just don't care anymore. Just waiting for death to come knocking on my door.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/15/2008 12:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Debaser...it is great to see you and
your post is very stright forward as are you

You and I seem to have the same beliefs in the "guilt" dept
I sure feel it is a double edged sword too

I nursed ppl all my life
'I was one of the few nurses 25 yrs ago plus
that would even go to an HIV/AIDS person's home
PPL were not educated enough and were afraid
I am and was not
Then I went to geriatrics
Which I loved with all my heart and soul
Looking after the men and woman that fought ( most of them ) for our Country
made me feel great
Getting to really know them as well

So much has happened since I had to sell retirement home
I am sure I could not or
really dont think I want to go back into that field

I have too many illnesses that require bathrooms stat and alot of pain daily
I have lost mom and dad just recently dad but withinn 2 yrs of one another
And that is really playing on me
I am glad you posted and as always in depth
YOu have been an asset to this forum from your first day

Take care and thanks again

......LYN


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 10/22/2008 8:04:50 AM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/15/2008 12:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Buddha

Are you kidding me
YOUR helping at the mission is FANTASTIC and I am so proud of you
We need ppl like you to help the less fortunate

I know its early yet but
have you thought of being a caretaker for seniors in their homes

I know you would be good at it
and it might help ease some of your pain

YOU are needed
NO checking out here my friend

Luvs
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    


irish63
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 242
   Posted 10/15/2008 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I had to quit a job I loved SO much due to this stupid disease. I was an Elementary School Counselor. It was my dream job, and they were no less than wonderful when I became very ill, but the kids I worked with needed consistency and help. I could not provide that when I missed so much work. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do; quit that job. I felt like such a failure, to myself and to my work family/friends and of course the kids! I still mourn over that loss and it's been almost 4 years now.
I do "dabble" a bit in my field now though working with the local Child Advocacy Center. Not the same, but at least it's something.
thanks for a great post.
Dx: 10/04 Crohn's, GERD, IBS,Osteporosis, Depression, Hypokelemia, "Crohn's" Arthritis, Migranes,
Meds: Asacol, Protonix, Lexapro, Celebrex,Potassium, Remecaide,Entocort, B12 injections wkly, Magnesium, Calcium, Phosphorus 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/15/2008 1:02 PM (GMT -7)   
irish.....
Thanks so much for your story
I am so sorry it was that way for you

I still do mourn my loss as well I think we always will
If you loved your career as you
so obviously did like I
Then it is hard to think you are not a failure
BUT I have learned it was the path life had given me

My daughter cait wants to be a High School English teacher.........
It is her dream.
I will help and support her 110% to acheive it ya know

I know it is not the same as you were doing before BUT
At least you are doing something and that
Says to me how much you loved your job
Dont feel you are a failure
It will take away from all
your success as the person you were and what you
did for those kids
I am sure they will never forget you

Lyn
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    


Scattered13
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 10/15/2008 2:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I've had to completely change my career plans since being dx'd with RA. I'm at uni - something no-one thought I'd ever achieve at one point, due to the severity of my depression in the past. I wanted to go into PR but the amount of stress and travelling I'd have to do would be comepletely unsuitable for all my illnesses. NOw I'm focussing on continuing in academia: I love my subject and my work will be flexible.

It does upset me for time to time, having to take everything into account when I think about applying for part-time work or other institutions. It feels like I'm giving them reasons to say no. I know this isn't the case, and even if it was, there are laws to prevent that kind of thing happening, but it doesn't stop me feeling inadequate and like I can't compete.
Dx: Panic Disorder, Psychotic Depression, Rheumatoid Arthritis
 
Rx: Humira, Methotrexate, Plaquenil, Prednisolone, Codeine, Diclofenic Sodium, Folic Acid, Propranolol, Citalopram


irish63
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 242
   Posted 10/15/2008 2:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Lyn,
You are always so supportive and helpful to everyone, your daughter is lucky to have such a wonderful Mom.
many thanks,
irish~
Dx: 10/04 Crohn's, GERD, IBS,Osteporosis, Depression, Hypokelemia, "Crohn's" Arthritis, Migranes,
Meds: Asacol, Protonix, Lexapro, Celebrex,Potassium, Remecaide,Entocort, B12 injections wkly, Magnesium, Calcium, Phosphorus 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/16/2008 3:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Scattered
Many thanks for posting your story
It is good to get it out and off your chest IMHO
LYN


Irish
Thanks sweetie
I try and I hope you know you are an asset to this forum as well
WE are all "Family" here

Luvs
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/16/2008 6:46 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Family,

I have written my story for so many I will not write it again other then to say I have applied for a position as a substitute nurse in our community school system.

Irish

You touched my soul when I read how you still mourn your job that you loved,  I feel the same way about my 26 years in nursing and also still get the feeling like I am failure for taking early retirement. But it has been 3 years for me and life has moved on.  I know now that I no longer work in the ER.

debaser

I remember your struggles with your job and I am so happy you now have the job you do.  I am sorry to hear of your recent break up but I know you will overcome the pain and that you will soon be back in the groove.  Good to see you my friend.  I understand those low spots.

ComedyDork

I am sorry you were not able to go to your dream school. I am sure that was the loss of a dream for you.  Give yourself time to work through this and look into all kinds of other jobs you may able to do. Post a question on the UC forum re ideas you could persue with your disease. :-)   ((((HUGS))))

Buddha,

You have done a wonderful job taking care of your Mom and that was the job of a caregiver.   You followed through all the way for 10 years, I know you did it out of love for you Mom but celebrate your accomplishment.  You gave 10 years and now you are lost and don't know how to start over as well as having issue of you own to deal with.

Never put yourself down,  we are here to help you dear Buddha.

Scattered,

I feel if you have made a wise choice for you to refocus where your headed in your career.  I feel a bit like you when applying for casual or part time work, my age is against me yet I am finding it on all applications as they need it for security reason.  I have tried to stay in the moment and if the job is meant to be for me, I will get it, if not I will sell knock-off watches on a corner. smilewinkgrin

To My Big sis who is very petite tongue

Great thread. I know you know my history in the career department and how I struggled and still do at times.  I know how much you loved nursing too.  You are always there for me when I start to slip into the "whoa is me" and you tell me to get over the "Stinkin Thinkin" As my friends were all connected to my work, I lost so much and yet I gained so much finding HealingWell and Lyn/Big Sis to welcome me aboard and be my mentor.

When one door closes another door opens.

Hugs to my HW Family and keep your stories coming.

Kitt/Lil Sis

 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Jan Marie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 1663
   Posted 10/20/2008 12:40 PM (GMT -7)   
I had to leave my dream job as a music teacher in a primary school, teaching singing to 3 to 11 year olds. I was so sad.... but when I started my venlafaxine I felt well enough to return to work and now teach cooking to adults with learning disabilities - only two mornings a week but I do enjoy it. Then guess what......? Last week I had a phone call from my old school asking if I would work this term to teach the music for the Christmas concert as their music teacher was having a difficult pregnancy, so I am going in for one morning a week. It is three years since I left..... we never know what is around the next corner!

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/20/2008 12:54 PM (GMT -7)   

Jan,

That is awesome, and I can see how excited you are.  I am so happy for you.  Yes, blessings do come when we are not expecting them.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 10/20/2008 6:43 PM (GMT -7)   
ComedyDork said...
Because of my ulcerative colitis, I couldn't go to my "dream college" and I can't pursue any of the careers I wanted to b/c they're unstable or too stressful, etc. And now I have no idea what I want to/should do.
I can relate to you. Becuase of my UC I had to quit Physical Therapy school, stop my personal training business on the side and keep my "day Job". I had big plans of starting my own fitness business and working as a physical therapist. Now I'm trying to see if I can do things differently...maybe cater a business towards other UC paitents. I work in banking right now so things are less than stable to say the least!
Dee-38yrs old 
Diagnosed with UC in 2004-PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression in 2007 & Fibromyalgia 2008
750mg colozal 3 pills 3x a day, .5mg clonazepam, 7.5mg Lexapro
1,000mg canasa suppositories (PM),
 Fioricet-Migraines
Prilosec-Not sure(Heartburn/GERD), Fish Oils
GNC Womens Active Formula Multi-vitamin
Colonoscopies-4 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/22/2008 7:11 AM (GMT -7)   
It is with sadness
but alot of good feeling that you are all letting this out
It will be the or one of the steps to fighting this demon
I believe we all know as a/p

THanks to ALL that have shared their innermost hearts with us here.............LYN

Lil sis
I have never been so lucky either to go thru this puter and find a kindred sister
that suppports and cares for me and so many others
Whilst fighting your own battles
Tjankls for always being hee for me and others to lean on

Love
Big sis
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    

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