not well today

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happyvel
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 10/19/2008 10:10 AM (GMT -7)   
my day is really starting right now, being I work nights. Not really feeling myself right now. I just feel i'm outside myself and looking for away to get back in. Its been almost 4 years now since my real father passed away with out me really knowing him. I wonder what is so wrong with me that he didn't want nothing to do with me. And, then tuesday night at work I got attacked by a guy in the womens bathroom. I'm trying so hard to forget it. But, it seems everyone around me keeps bring it up. They keep asking "Are you ok?" "Do you need anything?" Why can't they just leave me alone and let me go on. I just want to forget what happened and go on wiht life. But, it seems everyone wants to keep dragging that night up.
 
Its almost the holiday season. I just want to be me again and happy to see some of my family for Thanksgiving and my wedding. But, then I get so scared to really see them. I'm just afraid what they are going to say or how they will reacted to things around me now. I moved away from West Virginia to Mississippi to get a new start on life and to get myself well. I hope one day that will really happen and that I can truely be happy.
 
Thanks everyone here for letting me vent and get things off my chest. I love each and everyone of you. God Bless
Vel
"Always look on the positive side," " You're not at a dead end; you're simply at a crossroads. It's up to you to choose your route."
God Bless Vel


Buddha443556
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 293
   Posted 10/19/2008 3:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Happyvel, I don't know what to say. I just wanted you to know someone read this and cares.

Buddha
You must do the things you think you cannot do. -- Eleanor Roosevelt


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 10/19/2008 6:09 PM (GMT -7)   

HappyVel,

It's a sad fact of life that when we move away, we still bring ourselves along! I applaud you for making a move for the positive, but it may take a while for things to fall into place. Try not to think too far a head. As Kitt would say "stay in the moment" and "no stinkin thinkin!"

Your workmates will hopefully get over asking you about the issue of being attacked in the bathroom. Just smile, say "I'm fine, how are you?" and most likely they will get distracted and start talking about themselves instead.

I don't know what to say about your father, that must be hard. My father basically disowned me when I was seventeen and chose to study prof writing instead of Law. He never liked me as a child and made that clear by telling me I was an accident and I wasn't wanted. Trust me, it's not our fault..some people just are not meant to be parents. I sometimes run into my father and we just say Hi, and move on.

I hope your day improves. Know that we care about you and are here to listen,

Hugs,

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


Georgie Girl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 319
   Posted 10/19/2008 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   

Vel

You know I'm feeling the same way the last two days - sort of outside myself.  Or like a veil has been dropped over everything in my world.   

I am sorry for what happened to you at work.  It is good that people are caring, don't you think, even though you'd rather they not bring it up?  I hope that something was done about the attack - the attacker found, and something done to him?

I see you are in nursing - a very caring and difficult profession.  You are to be commended for having such meaningful life's work.

I am sorry you are dreading seeing your family.  Don't you think that once you get into it, it will be okay?  I usually dread family get togethers of all sorts but when I get there I sort of forget myself and focus on everyone else and have a good time despite myself.

Good luck to you and take care of yourself.

Georgie Girl

 

 

 


Georgie Girl


happyvel
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 10/20/2008 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks everyone for you caring thoughts and understanding. Buddha, sometimes I don't know what to say either, but known there is caring people that will just listen is the best sometimes. Thank you. I'm now on some new meds for my nerves it is seeming to help. I know that I will have some bad days but I'm so looking forward to the good days and living my life to the fullest.

I planted a tree in memory of my father to say my farwell to him. And, when I feel angry at him I can go out side and just yell scream or throw and good fit. This was reccomened to me by the councilor I'm seeing. Lets see if this really works or if the darn tree will die on me. LOL

God bless each and everyone of you and thanks for the caring kind words of understanding. I will come back and post again. With the new job, new home and wedding plans, slow me down at times.

Love,
Vel
"Always look on the positive side," " You're not at a dead end; you're simply at a crossroads. It's up to you to choose your route."
God Bless Vel


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/20/2008 1:40 PM (GMT -7)   

happy vel,

I am sorry your day is not so good. The holiday season is coming so this is a time when you may need to scale back a bit and take care of you.

I am so sorry about the attack............have you filed charges against this person?  To others who keep bringing it up just say " I am sorry this is a subject I do not want to discuss"  You never have to apologize for your reaction to a question.  Set your boundaries and the good people will understand.  Remember you were not put here on this earth to keep others happy. 

Remember we are here for you and here you can vent away or say nothing.

Gentle Hugs to you Vel

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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happyvel
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 10/21/2008 9:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,

Thank you, yes their are charges against him. They got him the same night it happened and he is in jail.
I try and remember to breath in and breath out. And, take each moment to the best that I can. Thanks everyone for caring and giving me kind words.

Vel
"Always look on the positive side," " You're not at a dead end; you're simply at a crossroads. It's up to you to choose your route."
God Bless Vel

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