Possible new girlfriend and my fears

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blinkie
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/26/2008 7:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all, Im new here and this looks like a great place for some advice.

To give a tiny bit of background information on my situation, I have to go back 2 years. I at this point, I had a girlfriend for 2 years, and we had broken up, and she started seeing someone else (even though she said she just wanted  break and she wasnt going after anyone else) which I had to find out through someone else, so that hurt a lot. So, I tried to move on by getting myself a new girlfriend. The EX and I still seemed to talk to one another and I was hung up on trying to win her back even though I was seeing someone new. I know that was NOT fair to the new girl, but I guess thats where my heart was at the time, and I feel awful for doing it :(     Anyway, the EX and I still would hang out with each other while seeing other people. Even tho I really wanted my EX back, ,
That whole time, I had bad anxiety, I would wake up with it, and spend the whole day with a that feeling you get when youre about to walk on stage infront of 1000s of people. I couldnt go to the gym like I was used to, and I even didnt eat anywhere close to what I should have been

But once things didnt work out for either of us, the EX and I got back together, and I never had that problem ever again.

The EX and I got back for another 2-3 years, and now we had both decided it was best if we werent together anymore.

I have been 'single' for about 8-9months this time, because I didnt want to rush into another relationship and hurt an innocent girl, I learned my lession (I was really stupid to do that, I know, but I was dumb and confused back then)

I have now met this new girl, and have been talking to her for 3 weeks, and have gone on just one date with her. Everything went very well, and we both flirted with each other the whole night, it was great!

But now that anxiety feeling has returned. It came back when I had just 1 day to go before our planned date. I was fine during the date, but once I got home, I have been feeling anxiety ALL day and cant shake it off.

I do not think I want my EX back, but im worried nonetheless that this will lead to more problems 'preforming'

I think I still have a good appetitite, and I am still going to try to go to the gym as much as possible!

The EX and I barely talk nowadays, ,and when we would talk, it would usually end in an argument.

Im not sure what to do, or think, does anyone have any suggestions? Im getting really worried, and I hate this constant feeling because I know what it did to me before
 
Edit  :  I am sorry but I had to edit out certain parts of your post.
Please review rules: This is a public, family-friendly forum. In addition, if something would not be considered “work safe” (to a boss or co-worker), then it shouldn’t be posted.
We do have members in this forum as young as 13.
Thank in advance for your understanding.
Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 10/26/2008 9:37:58 AM (GMT-6)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/26/2008 8:43 AM (GMT -7)   

blinkie,

Welcome to HealingWell. I am sorry you are having anxiety re ED

If your problem is caused by anxiety I would like to suggest you talk with your physician.  He will be able to direct you to a specialist in dealing this anxiety problem.

You seem to know what triggers your anxiety and it is specific. Please do know we care and hope that you get help from someone with expertise re your problem.

Sincerely
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


blinkie
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/26/2008 10:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,
I am sorry, I did read the rules, I did not mean to break any of them! Just tried to give the full story, ya know?
Ill be more careful next time, I promise!

I dont know if anyone knows, but is it possible a physician would give pills or something for something like this kind of anxiety? or is it more of something else

I know that may be a hard question to answer, but is it a possibility?

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/26/2008 11:32 AM (GMT -7)   

klinkie

No need to be sorry. :-)

Psychological factors such as stress, anxiety, guilt, depression low self-esteem, and fear of  failure are associated with impotence.

If the underlying condition leading to impotence cannot be corrected, or if  problems persist, medications can help certain men.  Another good question for your Physician.  Write down you questions and no question is stupid so ask away.

Take Care

Kitt.


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 10/26/2008 1:37 PM (GMT -7)   

Dont talk to your Ex. she is holding you back from moving forward with your life. make a clean break and enjoy your new relationship.

Maz


'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, Polycystic Ovaries, Chronic ear/nose/throat infections, Panic Disorder, Reactive Arthritis, Agoraphobia, Migraines, GERD, Anaemia, Sinusitis, Chronically perforated eardrums, Pinched Nerves, IBS, Tachycardia, Allergies, Insomnia, Trichotilomania, Glandular Fever, Bursitis, Encapsulitis, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, Mild OCD.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Nexium. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie. XX.
 
 


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 10/26/2008 2:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, blinkie, and welcome!

It sounds like your EX or relationships are a trigger right now for you. Do definitely make a nice, thorough list of your questions for your doctor. That helps me when I'm feeling confused about my body and physical health and really need his advice. If medication is a possibility, he'll surely let you know.

percycat

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/26/2008 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to HW
I am so glad you found us here and
I KNOW you will come to like this pplace and luv the "family" we have here on a/p
and HW all around.........

I really do think your ex is causing alot of anticipatory anxiety and that can or may be interferring with the other issue you mentioned

My son is one that is with a woman that has held him back for so long and then he up and went to Alberta..got a great job and talked to his kids every night

What I am trying to say here Blinky is this

If Jen cant have CONTROL over Rick and have him she ALWAYS wants him back or causes severe angst and problems in their lives and refuses for us to see grandkids

I believe you need to learn some relaxtion tapes
Enjoy who you really are ( and ya sound like a great guy)
Cpount your blessings that you are not with her
As well pursu this new woman but sloly
Get to really know her and her you .......

I am sure a doc can help you out /even a therapist

Remember you are now part of HW a/p "family
Stay with us ..........LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
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blinkie
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/26/2008 5:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Im really glad everyone here is so great and supportive! It's really a refreshing change, thank you so much!

I've been giving it a lot of thought today, and I'm remembering the last time I these feelings, I would always be wondering what my EX was doing, and trying to contact her. I do not have those urges this time, I do not even want to try and contact her!

This feeling has been with me all today. I tried to get out and about with my best friend today by going out for lunch and a movie with him (he just broke up with his girl too, but he seems extra excited to be free, haha).

I think I may be just having anxiety about whether or not this girl really does like me or not, but I think she does, but one always tends to think negative things too when they're unsure. But this feeling!! it's the exact same!! I remember the last time it happened, I had trouble 'preforming', couldnt eat much if anything, and could barely sleep, and never wanted to leave the house.

This time, I still find myself wanting to venture out, still hit the gym as much as possible with just my casual workouts and cardio, and Im still wanting food.

All these have to be positives for me, right?

I think with this feeling my brain is fearing the worst and I may be doing myself harm just because im fearing about of MIGHT happen if this new relationship takes off

PS - I even gave back everything in my room that was about 'us' to my EX, and I honestly dont miss any of it. I think Im better this time, but im still really scared for the 'what if's' and this anxiety feeling doesnt go away!! Arghh!!

PPS- Most of the thoughts that are running through my head are 'What is going to happen next with this new girl', 'Is she really into me?', 'Is she talking to any other guys?'

Man, I worry too much!! I need to relax!! I guess this whole situation with her seems too good to be true and I dont want to mess it up, shes a really sweet girl, too cute for words :)
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