How are You and Your Teens Getting By

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stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/27/2008 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Good afternoon my dear friends,
 
I decided to try a new topic where we can share our stories and support on raising teenagers.
 
For the teens

Do you ever find yourself getting really irritable for almost no reason? Or suddenly feeling down without knowing why? Going from sadness to anger to joy in a matter of minutes can make many teens feel as though they're losing their grip. But why is the feeling of being on an emotional roller coaster so common among teens?

Dealing with constant change and pressure is part of the answer. Maybe you're starting a new school and not able to see old friends as much. Getting good grades or wanting to be better in sports or other activities can be a concern for many teens. It might feel as though there just isn't enough time to do everything.

Being a teen means struggling with identity and self-image. Being accepted by friends feels extremely important. Teens also may notice, for the first time, a sense of distance from parents and family. You may feel you want to be on your own and make your own decisions, but it can also seem overwhelming and even a bit lonely at times. As fun and exciting as this time is, it also can be a time of confusion and conflict. It can take a while for teens — and their families — to feel comfortable with the transition between childhood and adulthood.

Another important cause for mood swings is biology. When begins, the body starts producing sex hormones. These hormones — estrogen and progesterone in girls and testosterone in guys — cause physical changes in the body. But in some people, they also seem to cause emotional changes — the ups and downs that sometimes feel out of control.

Understanding that almost everyone goes through mood swings during their teen years might make them easier to handle.

When It's More Than Just a Mood

Feeling irritable or short-tempered can be signs of depression So can feelings of boredom or hopelessness.

Many people think of depression as feeling sad, but depression can also bring feelings of moodiness, impatience, anger, or even just not caring. When depression gets in the way of enjoying life or dealing with others, that's a sign you need to do something about it, like talking to a counselor or therapist who can help you deal with it. Also, if you ever feel like hurting yourself, that's more than just a bad mood and you need to tell someone.

Taking Control

Here are some things you can do that might make those bad moods a bit easier to handle:

  • Recognize you're not alone. Although not every teen experiences mood changes to the same degree, they are common.
  • Catch your breath. Or count to 10. Or do something that lets you settle down for a few moments, especially if you're feeling angry or irritable. Try to look at the situation from the point of view of a wise observer.
  • Talk to people you trust. Friends can help each other by realizing that they're not alone in their feelings. Talking to parents is important, too. Parents can share their own experiences dealing with bad moods. Plus, they'll appreciate it if you try to explain how you feel instead of just slamming a door. Teachers and counselors are often good resources, and a doctor can help sort through questions about development. Keeping feelings inside can make them seem much worse.
  • Exercise. Regular exercise produces more beta-endorphin, a hormone that controls  and improves mood. Go for a run, play some tennis, ride your bike, or punch a punching bag.
  • Get enough sleep. Though it can be hard to find enough time, getting adequate rest is very important. Being tired can lead to more sadness and irritability.
  • Create. Get involved in some sort of project, like starting a journal or diary, building something out of wood, or starting an art or music piece. Writing can help you organize and express your thoughts and feelings and will make things more manageable. Don't worry about grammar, spelling, or punctuation; the important thing is just to get your thoughts on paper. Do the same thing with paint, sculpture, music, or other art forms. Put your feelings into your artwork.
  • Cry. There's nothing wrong with crying; in fact, it often makes a person feel better. However, if you find that you are sad, irritable, bored, or hopeless much of the time, or if you just can't seem to shake the blues, you might be depressed and need help from a counselor or doctor. If you're feeling stressed or angry a lot of the time, getting help could be very useful for you.
  • Wait. Just as you can get into a bad mood for what seems like no reason at times, that mood can also pass. If your negative mood sticks around too long, though — or if it's interfering with the way you deal with friends, parents, school, or activities — then you may want to talk to a school counselor, parent, or therapist about what you can do to feel better. Reference: BCBS

I wish I had this info when I was raising my teens.  I hope you all will get into a dicussion re teens and how your dealing with yours, what works and what does not. :-)

Hugs

Kitt

 

Post Edited (stkitt) : 10/27/2008 10:38:58 PM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/28/2008 4:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for POSTING this Lil sis
I am having better times with Cait but it sems to becoming a lil bumpy in the road again

NO worries....I will watch her like a hawk

Love big sis
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
    We Have Anxiety / Panic ..Anxiety / Panic DO NOT have US 
 You have To Have Some Laughter as Well as Those Tears IMHO         
 
    
 
 
 
                    


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 10/28/2008 9:31 PM (GMT -7)   

Great thread Kitt...when my cats go through puberty I know who to call!

Lyn, keep that communication open, let your sweet Cait have her space..but also let her know Ma is watching and concerned.

Hugs,

Megs, s.i.s


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


jazzy29
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 10/30/2008 10:55 AM (GMT -7)   
HI Guys
This is just what I have been needing re my teen daughter. Thanks!
 
I think it is extremely important for parents to understand the natural confusing processess the teens go through,as it can feel like they are just trying to create major probs to us parents but they need to go through this to develop into rounded individuals..........although it does not feel like it at the time!!  shocked
 
My daughter is really challenging me at the mo and it does not help my current high anxiety at the mo.......It is very hard to feel like you are losing control of your children as they grow up but we must let go and just try to guide them.
 
Jazzy

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/31/2008 2:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Had a couploe of days were I had TO ground Cait
She of course thought she would get around me as per the norm

NOT this time

ME thinks she will learn a lil from the last episode

I cannot alwas give in out of frustration or the buttons she pushes nor the guilt ya know

Thanks Lil sis
Loves turn
Big sis

Megs my sis
I will n am keeping lines way open..... tongue
Luvs ya sweetie

Sister in Sobriety


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
    We Have Anxiety / Panic ..Anxiety / Panic DO NOT have US 
 You have To Have Some Laughter as Well as Those Tears IMHO         
 
    
 
 
 
                    


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 10/31/2008 6:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Grounded! Way to go! My mother used to do that all the time....and I would sneak out my window...sorry ma! I hope Cait is on the second floor.
nono  
s.i.s
Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/1/2008 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   
devil    devil
YOU betcha she is ...........
O I let her out for halloween but she really did do alot of kissing you know where lol..........
THIS time I did not give in
Lil sis  and I talked aboiut it and
It was a big no no if I did nono
Missed all yer calls last night or this am
Had the worse migraine in years.........
 
Will try calling you tomorrow k
 
BTW......I always used the same tactics as Cait with Mom and she would just say "go" get out " lol
BUT I know the walk and have done it enough
NOW I am sticking to it
Next she loses her lifelines
AHHHHHHH yes the Dreaded lifelines
Her puter ( laptop ) and cell
devil
EVIL MOM I AM.......
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Loves
Sis in Sobriety
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
    We Have Anxiety / Panic ..Anxiety / Panic DO NOT have US 
 You have To Have Some Laughter as Well as Those Tears IMHO         
 
    
 
 
 
                    


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/1/2008 5:43 PM (GMT -7)   
......Lil Sis
This is a really great idea for a thread

C'mon folks I know I am not the only one with a teen ...........and the problems.........

ROFLMBO

Luvs
Big sis
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
    We Have Anxiety / Panic ..Anxiety / Panic DO NOT have US 
 You have To Have Some Laughter as Well as Those Tears IMHO         
 
    
 
 
 
                    


Marie-Claire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 11/6/2008 2:25 PM (GMT -7)   
My mom used to say if your teen doesn't think you are the worst mom ever for not letting them do this or than or for setting limits.... then you're not doing your job right. If your teen thinks your the coolest mom ever... you're missing the boat.
Mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/6/2008 2:40 PM (GMT -7)   

Very true Mary,

I know I see the kids getting everything they want and they just take it for granted.  If it gets lost, Moms and Dads will buy them a new one.

How would you parents of teens handle this one?

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Corrie_1
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 185
   Posted 11/6/2008 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
I think Doctor Phil said...

"Parents aren't the only influence in their kids' lives, so they need to be the best, the loudest, the clearest and the closest."

or something to that effect.
Diagnosed with Fibro - October 2008


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/7/2008 6:25 PM (GMT -7)   
The best role model for your children is you
Usually ..........I try to set examples and I believe I have done great with cait

She is stretching her teenage wings

AHAHAhhhhhhhhhhhhh they CAN be clipped
 
The best thing you can give your child / teen / adult child is
 
YOUR TIME yeah

Mom


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
     Mod@Alzheimer's..Co MOd @Crohns ..Co Mod @Anxiety/Panic
                                   ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/12/2008 6:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Cait gets her award tomorrow night for high honors
I will ber there and a proud mom I am
WE are making alot of headway in communicating and
I just pray we can stay that way

How bout anyone else and ther teens

LYN

Good thread lil sis
Big sis out with love
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 12/22/2008 10:18 AM (GMT -7)   
All,

I figured I'd just hop onto this older thread and let you all know that I am soon to become a step-mom. Yup, I am tying the knot with a very wonderful man, and he has a son in his midteens. I have a LOT LOT LOT to learn about dealing with the issues of a teenager in the house, so wish me luck!

percycat

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/22/2008 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   
.......WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO yeah
Puss puss..........
I am sure no positive you are going to be great at this
You have the goods for being a MOM and I am sooooooo Happy for you
 
CONGRATS on the marriage and the Children  turn
 
   Member if ya need any help with teens lots of us have plenty of survival TIPS lol
NAHHH you wont need em...........
 
So now it's Mom Pus Puss ............ smilewinkgrin
 
 
......Be happy and never go to bed angry........... tongue
 
Luvs.........LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/22/2008 11:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Cait and I are doing awesome we really are
No more of the other and we are not yelling anymore
WE cuddle and talk like we use to
I so love it

The only thig I worry about is she is back with Jesse..........
BUT MHO........I have to support this or lose her...........

How is all else doing

This is a great thread thanks for bringing it back up Mom Puss puss.
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 12/22/2008 12:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for the great advice regarding teens. I have a teen daughter and one that's closing in on her teens. I have to be very careful about what I say around them regarding my anxiety/panic attacks. I don't want them to begin suffering as I have because of suggestive remarks. My daughters are great. I appreciate them every day!

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 12/22/2008 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   
My siblings and godchildren are all older now and we have a fresh wave of new family the past couple years, and about four ladies pregnant, so "Uncle Sam" (I know. . .ha, ha. . . roflmbo:) is going to be broke :) I loved spoiling all them when they were young and it's like they are gremlins and got into some water somewhere or ate after midnight (something like that:) lol I love the fun part and hate the teenage stage. . . The worst part is that they ARE older and then are gone. . . Kinda sad :)

I'm crackers today my friends :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace and Comfort!!!
Your Bro,
Sam
 
 "We either make ourselves happy or miserable.   The amount of work is the same”
~ Carlos Castaneda ~

 
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years"
~ Abraham Lincoln ~
 

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