I don't think medication only masks the problem. I think it treats the problem to the point that it can be under control. At that point you can then work on the mental aspects of anxiety disorder.
Obviously I'm not a doctor but knowing what I know about
Xanax, I'm not sure I would take that one if I were in your shoes. It doesn't last very long and since you're around your kids a lot, you may find yourself taking more than what would be prudent. Instead, I'd ask for a longer-acting benzodiazepine that is generally prescribed to be taken at a low dose twice per day. Ask about
Klonopin. Addiction is uncommon, the side effect profile is quite low, and it begins to work quickly. Talk to your doctor about
the pros and cons.
I'm willing to bet medication would help you, but you'll have to try to make progress while you're on the drug. Perhaps CBT therapy would be appropriate.
As for being pointed in the right direction, a psychiatrist would be the best type of doctor to see because they are more familiar with this type of thing than a family doctor would be. However, if you can't get in to see a shrink, it's not like Klonopin is the cutting edge of medicine or anything. They SHOULD know enough about
it to discuss it with you.
I'm sure others will post their thoughts. Good luck.