I am a teacher and have had many "morning dreads" as I call them. I used to call in sick thinking that would be the best thing for me to do, but learned in time it was the worst thing that I could have done. On those "sick" days, I wasted a day of my life lying around dwelling on anxiety, made it worse for the day, and wondered if I would ever be able to work again. I just added fuel to the fire. Now, if I feel them coming on I just jump out of bed and hit the shower. I watch (or have the sound in the background) a funny, mindless show as I get ready for work which I have previously TIVOed the day before. I concentrate on the now and don't give a second thought to what lies ahead for the day. I make the morning routine enjoyable, my time. No house chores, no lesson planning, no stress. I have my day planned the night before so I don't have any last minute concerns hanging over my head.
My motivations to turn my situation around are much like yours. I have a child in college. I need to be a financial contributor to my household. I want to set an example to my child that work ethic is a very good thing. I worked hard for my education and am good at my job and don't want that to be in vain. But, I think my biggest personal driving factors are people are counting on me. The administration, parents, and students need me (good mark up for the self esteem LOL) and what in the world would I think if my husband just started calling in sick each and every day that he felt he just wasn't up to it?
Just some ideas,
You know yourself well and what I sense is you have jumped into the full time positions to early.
Remember those babysteps and start out slowly.
Don't beat yourself up............just do the best you can.
Lower your goals to something more managable and yes consider it a compliment that you have been asked to commit to the month position but write down the pros and cons and don't make snap decisions.
Proud of you my friend.Kitt
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
i am so pleased that not only did you get the work, but you totally managed it! im sure the kids you taught were very appreciative. thinking of you as you get back in the game, teaching is a demanding profession for the healthiest, fittest, stong minded people, so its double hard for those of us who struggle with the demands of poor physical and mental health.
proud of you- come to sydney and sub for me!!
keep us posted, Maz XX
Wow, Marthamae, I'm impressed with your Monday accomplishments! I too find that part of my work anxiety is not being sure what I'm going to wear or being able to find the right shoes and correct socks. The more I prepare the night before, the less anxiety I have. Doesn't do away with it completely but it does help. Keep up the good work - one day at a time!
Thanks for the replies. It's been comforting to know everyone is here. :)
Well, it's Thursday night and I have gone to work every single day this week! I plan on going tomorrow also.
The class I have taught since Tuesday is an ELL class. That's "English Language Learners"...just in case you didn't know. (I didn't know until recently myself!) Anyhow, these kids really needed a reliable sub and I have done a good job with them. I heard they ran off a couple of subs earlier this year, but they have given me no trouble. One kid is a bit of a "skunk" though...LOL. I bet he keeps his mom busy!
I'm still trying to get stuff ready the night before. That's helping. And I just have been having the mindset of "Yes, you ARE going to work!". I've actually had quite a sore throat these last couple of days, but I've gone anyway. I just took some Advil and drank some water.
I think this anxiety is a confidence thing. Once I go to work for a few weeks, then I know I can and will be more confident. Of course, I can still miss in a true emergency...that happens to everyone. But that should be few and far between, not common.
I have to share something nice that happened to me today. The school I am working at is a school where I taught for 12 weeks last year when a woman had a baby. One of the teachers I worked next door to saw me today and she said "Hey, are you going to come and get a regular job here next year? I really like you and want you to work here!" I told her thank you and that her comment made my day. I don't know that I will ever be reliable enough to work a regular job but it was nice to feel wanted. I do know I am a good enough teacher. The kids always respond well, behave, and I KNOW they learn a lot. There's a good feeling to the day.
I'm still having a touch of driving anxiety but I'm driving and facing it.
I have a week off for Thanksgiving. The week after I am taking Monday off for guests and I have jobs for Wed and Thurs. Hopefully, someone will need me on Tues and Friday. Dear God, just not Kindergarten!
hugs to all,
so sorry to hear about your Crohn's. My 17 year old son has 2 young friends with it and it has been terrible. You are truly courageous.