Good Morning and Welcome to the A & P Forum.
I am so sorry your Mum is having problems.
Signs of anxiety include restlessness, a lot of worrying about things that probably will not happen, and not being able to pay attention or remain focused on a task. Sometimes the stress can get extreme and lead to panic attacks.
Panic attacks are short times of intense fear and anxiety, which often include quick heartbeats, shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness or stomach problems.
Trouble sleeping or sleeping to much are usually sx of depression.
Anxiety and Depression often go hand in hand.
IMHO, I would take your Mum into see her physician and see if you can get a proper dx and then the help she needs.
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
Hi, ive had panic disorder since i was 10, and there have been times when i have been peacefully asleep when an attack has woken and distressed me. they can definetly happen in your sleep. and while they are scary as all get out, they cant phyically hurt you. wishing you and your mum the best
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 11/20/2008 5:00:53 AM (GMT-7)
thankyou all so very much for replyingxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
my mums history is as follows
she is on ramipril and atenlol, for high blood pressure. had this for a few years they first thought it was angina, she has osteoarthritis, but isnt on meds for that. She likes a good drink but nothing i can do about that. tried and failed many a time. this panick attack was her first. few months ago she had an umbilcal hernia repaired after it swelled to a huge size and was close to strangling her bowel. she doesnt open up and probably never will, i suppose you could say its that stiff upper lip thing. But my mum would never come on this site. She thinks i am mad for wanting support with my health problems and that these sort of sites scaremonger etc...... Even when ive been pregnant she told me to not read the books although to me knolwedge is a great thing. The info is for myself only.
My mum had this attack while sleeping off a large amount of alcohol which is near every night. i know the alcohol exagerates things with mum as it has done for years. The docs said that the only explanation for the attack was panick as her heart was fine. I was not present for the diagnosis, but she was told if it happens again just to go to her GP, no meds were offered no further exams etc..... i have a very close friend who suffers with agoraphobia has done for 10 years and i know she was given lots of tests etc... she is now on a mountain of meds. i am just so confused as i dont know what to believe because of the alcohol prob. She was drunk while admitted to the er. she isnt unhappy or wworried about things, i know as i see mum every day. you all probably think i dont care about mum or am minimsing her probs, but believe me im not so much has happened through alcohol that it is like the boy who cried wolf. i am so confused, i want to believe everything said but something is niggling at me, this is why i wanted to have a chat with fine people like yourselves who are genuine, so i can get the full extent of what could be the case. im not saying she lied about her diagnosis but it wouldnt be the first time, but this way when she s with me i can look out for signs of a looming attack and know what to do. She also did say when in the local er before being moved that the docs gave her an injection and she fainted afterwards, she is not scared of needles or anthing, but she sai her heartbeat went down to 99/60 post njection.
thankyou once again i only hope that you can understand where i am coming from with this, thanks again for any more help given
thank you budha, i have tried with docs but they wont give me the time of day even though i did try to explain that i dont want info only to give info. she has been on those pills for about 2 years, with no probs so far but i have been expecting something to happen, because of the alcohol involved, its only 3.30 pm and already drinking has commenced, it happens everyday which is why im not sure if her admission to hosp last week was really an attack or alcohol induced, thanks for the advice
best wishes back xxx
Good Morning, this is Kitt. Never think we are judging you as you obviously care deeply for your Mom or you would not be here talking to us.
Many people who are alcoholic may not realized that their addiction to alcohol may trigger panic attack.
Alcohol is considered a depressant, and most panic attack sufferers incline to be more susceptible to the effect of such chemicals. Drinking during a panic attack will not help calm a person down, nor will it help relax them and prevent an attack.One of the things a doctor will suggest to any newly diagnosed panic sufferer will be that they cut down on their alcohol. Resource: Panic Attack Blog
Several of the members have mentioned their drugs and alcohol concerns.
I am so sorry you are not getting good support from the physicians.
Do they realize she has a drinking problem, and what did they give her for her panic attack when she had alcohol on board?
My prays for you as I had a Mom that would start drinking at 10:00 AM in the morning. I understand how you feel.
hey guys, lovely lovely people that you are.
as far as im aware mum was giving nothing exccept told she could go home, and if it happens again to go see her own doc. She said no meds cause i did ask her. She was given an injection when first admitted but says her bp went realy low and she fainted. Nothing else after that. While she was in hosp i spoke with the nurse who was taken care of her, said about the alcohol and that she would look into it. Mum has been admitted about 5-6 times the past fw months always middle of the night and always with a driink in. I should prob point out that both of my parents can carry on with their jobs etc.... but as soon as work is over the bottle is opened, and then some. After pay day it is even worse. I have even spoken to docs as my own health was suffering through their alcohol use. they also said they would look into it. I know this is not an alcohol group or anything but i do suffer from anxiety through the years of problems with alcoholic parents. Yes they are yet to admit a problem, i cant talk to them anymore about it, they dont listen and fall out with me. I hate falling out with my parents. i am a mother to four boys with another baby on the way and i can do without the worry and stress. But i cant help it, maybe mum is suffering from something and i just dont know about it, yeh i have been in touch with groups who give advice to relatives, none of the options have worked. Im sorry for rambling. but if it is anxiety maybe the advice from here can help me help her. thanks again everyone xxxx
hey guys, i do so appreciate being able to chat with you all about this. Once again mum and dad are drunk!!! every blooming day. i get so angry with it. yeh i have been putting up with this since i was very young, because of their drink fuelled rages and violence i done terribly in school, my health started to deterorate, docs thinks stress made me worse. And through beatings etc... but i still went back for me, looking after my younger siblings etc...... my mum even took a knife to my sofa, in my house not hers. that was a few years ago now, but still the rage is there. I do not drink and i dont like drink around my children as i have a fear of them growing up and seeing the nastiness of alcohol. I am not t total, i only have a glass or two if i am out of the house maybe at a hotel or something with my hubby and someone trusted with my children. I cant cut them out from our lives, without alcohol lovely people with monsters!!!! I am now 29 happily married to a lawyer, with 4 fabulous boys a baby on the way my health improving since my op last year, and somehow i keep thinking its going to crash and burn. Christmas is going to be a blast my full family and hubbies. I cant stop alcohol then. My hubby likes a glass of wine with dinner and so will the rest of the adults, but my fear of something happening which always does is so strong. Whenever alcohol and my parents and other people are together it is mayhem. I cant have my children witness any of the stuff that usually comes my way. Maybe i am being hormonal with the pregnancy who knows.
Now 6 days after mum was in hosp with the attack she says her knee is now grinding and in agony. Yeh was said to me about 10 mins ago drunk, but i can do without more during the night phonecalls from hospitals. I cant put phone on silent, hubby is permantly on call, the police have our home number in case of arrests. I am beginning to think my mum does all this for attention, but i dont know why. My youngest absoloutly dotes on her, and we are always with her helping out etc.... even shopping together. i give as much attention as i possibly can. But with being admitted so many times these past few months im starting to think its all fake. Especially after listening to you guys with genuine stories, and what the attacks can consist of. Oh i dont know. I am rambling again. i have never spoken to anyone who has grown up with situations like mine. Thanks for listening my friends
You need to draw the line and start to take care of you. That is "my daughter of an alcoholic Mother speaking." My Father drank too and it was a family problem as my grandfather was a drunk. My Mother was a mean drunk too and loved to get into a fight in the bars, many nights coming home yelling and screaming like a banshee.
I know this will be hard for you but remember guilt is a wasted emotion.
Many times when family and friends try to "help" alcoholics, they are actually making it easier for them to continue in the progression of the disease.
This baffling phenomenon is called enabling, which takes many forms, all of which have the same effect -- allowing the alcoholic to avoid the consequences of his/her actions. This in turn allows the alcoholic to continue merrily along his (or her) drinking ways, secure in the knowledge that no matter how much he/she screws up, somebody will always be there to rescue him from their mistakes.
What is the difference between helping and enabling? There are many opinions and viewpoints on this topic.
Helping is doing something for someone that they are not capable of doing themselves. Enabling is doing for someone things that they could, and should be doing themselves.
Simply, enabling creates a atmosphere in which the alcoholic can comfortably continue his unacceptable behavior.
As long as the alcoholic has his/her enabling devices in place, it is easy for them to continue to deny they have a problem-- since most of their problems are being "solved" by those around him. Only when he/she is forced to face the consequences of their own actions, will it finally begin to sink in how deep his problem has become.
Some of these choices are not easy for the friends and families of alcoholics. If the alcoholic drinks up the money that was supposed to pay the utility bill, he's not the only one who will be living in a dark, cold, or sweltering house. The rest of the family will suffer right along with him.
That makes the only option for the family seem to be taking the money intended for groceries and paying the light bill instead, since nobody wants to be without utilities.
Those kinds of choices are difficult. They require "detachment with love." But it is love. Unless the alcoholic is allowed to face the consequences of his own actions, he will never realize just how much his drinking has become a problem -- to themself and those around them.
I hope this gives you a little insight into dealing with your Mother. You have to take care of you first. You may not stop her from drinking but remember it is her choice.
All i can say is im so sorry you are going through a rough patch, and that things are tough- know that you are safe and welcome here and as you will already have noticed, people here genuinely care.
sending a prayer your way- Maz XX
thank you so much for the downright kick upthe bum!!!! i understand completely what you are saying and it all does make sense. At the the moment, my parents have lost 1 child and grandchildren, dont know how long that wil last. I too also separated for months at a time from them. That too didnt work. I moved away eventually they moved too. It seems nothing helps. The helping part i am on about i dont think is enabling, at least i dont think so, mum had a diskectomy, think that is what is called, disc removed from back but every so ofen that plays up, the helping i do is just the physical things she cant on that given day. But i am also there for her to open up to. No matter who has falling out with parents they are always in the right. Last big fight we had i didnt speak to them for a year, that only changed cos mum was rushed to hospital with suspected angina. ( you see what i mean on hosp trips lol) my thoughts were life was too short to be apart from your loved ones. I feel like i cant win, darned if ido and darned if i dont. Maybe things will change on their own by themselves. i dont give them money or anything r buy alcohol. Maybe i can change a bit too see if that helps. thank you for the great insight.
thankyou so much for the very kind words. I knew that i would get the advice i needed here as i often use the ostomy and ibs sites, and have found the people there extremely welcoming, just like here. Its not so much a rough patch more rouch years. But at night i close the doors and shut everything out except my hubby and kids. i have learnt to do that, just the thought of christmas loming. it may turn out better than i expect.
hope you are all well, all words to me have been fantastic, thank you all