Anyone else suffering with PTSD except Buddha and I?

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Marie-Claire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 12/2/2008 10:25 PM (GMT -7)   
 Is anyone else suffering from PTSD. ? I have been struggling so much lately with depression, flashbacks, nightmares.... it is all sooo overwhelming. The other day, after having a bit of respite from it all, a friend of mine raised his voice to me ( he suffers from anxiety , etc as well...and got anxious , became agitated and yelled at me for no real reason except that he was out of control)... I understand the feeling all too well....but boy did it set me back!!!!! I was sick all nite... my CD flared up, I had the shakes so bad, my heart was beating 100 miles a minute, couldn't breathe.... and all these terrible memories were popping back into my head. It was horrible.
I have devoted my whole life to protecting my brothers , sister, mom... and then my own children.... 45 years of fear.... I am 51 now... my children are doing well , 19 and 18 .... I find myself feeling so lonely at times... I had hope that I could find a friend... someone to share coffee with , go to a movie with from time to time.... I thought the friend that yelled at me could become someone significant in my life.... but now I realize that I will probably never be able to have a normal relationship with a partner.... I am sooo screwed up.... I don't know what normal is... Men terrify more than I knew.... I thought that if I was aware of my PTSD issues and knew the triggers Id be able to handle things ....but I was wrong.... now I feel even more lonely . I have beautiful daughters and a gorgeous grandaugther... I have wonderful women friends and I have this precious HW family.... but how I wish I could be normal and be able to have a partner to share my life with... maybe I'm suffering a bit of the empty nest syndrome.... I've been mother/protector my whole life and have lost myself in the process... now all I know of me... is that I am one big mess of hurt and fear. How do you learn to trust again.?
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.
 
 


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 12/2/2008 10:31 PM (GMT -7)   

i have PTSD, but its pretty under control. it doesnt affect my day to day life hugely which i am forever grateful for. im sorry that this doesnt help you, but know that im thinking of you and praying for you.

Maz XX


            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibro, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


Supermom83
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 12/3/2008 1:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I cried as I read your post. I, too, have PTSD because the father of my children stabbed me 16 times. I know how it is to make it day to day. I live in fear I think on the inside. I long to trust someone, but really can't, especially guys. I know what it is like. Sometimes, I don't want to leave my house, which is completely opposite of who I really am. I used to be so outgoing and sociable. I've had flare ups too where my heart is beating and the flashbacks are so real, its like he is hurting me all over again. I can feel it. I have a friend who helps me through those hard times. He holds me and tells me its gonna be ok. He is with me till the episode is over. I haven't had many bad episodes because I block it out so hard, but when they hit, they hit hard. My advise to you would be to have a friend with you. Someone who understands. It doesn't make it go away, but it makes it easier to get through. My heart and feelings are with you my friend. We can get through this.

Buddha443556
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 293
   Posted 12/3/2008 4:59 AM (GMT -7)   
No answers here Mary. I'm sorry you had a bad day Mary.

I'll be thinking of you today,
Buddha
You must do the things you think you cannot do. -- Eleanor Roosevelt


Hopie
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 12/3/2008 7:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes, I have PTSD and it is mainly under control but I am in the middle of a bout with it now. The event happened 16 years ago but from time to time I experience flash backs that make it seem like yesterday. Marie, it WILL get better. I have someone very important in my life that understands, so there's proof positive that there are good men out there. Don't lose hope, please. It sounds like you have a lot to offer to the right person and to your family. I am sort of in the same boat as you, feeling a little bit of empty nest syndrome and also feeling as if i need to be a protector to my family. I am slowly realizing that I cannot protect them at all times and worrying 24/7 does not benefit anyone, it only hurts everyone more, especially me. Hang in there, it will get better, I promise... :o)

Marie-Claire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 12/3/2008 1:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone, from the bottom of my heart. It helps knowing I'm not the only one. I am shaking today and don't know why.... had a really bad nite.... it carries through the day I guess. Thank you for telling me your stories... I know it isn't easy to talk about or bring those memories to the forefront.... for me , they are always at the forefront.
I am disappointed in myself... I thought I had come such a long way but realize that I haven't improved a whole lot at all. Guess I was so busy getting my two beautiful girls through their trauma,;putting broken children back together again ... that I didn't have time to notice my own issues. They sure are hitting me in the face now. It's paralyzing.
I am trying to take time to 'feed my tired old soul ' a little more lately. ... it helps a little.
I love you all for your support.
Healing thoughts and prayers to each of you...
tired old Mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/3/2008 4:56 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Mary,

I have been doing my homework again my dear friend.

Here is a forum called ptsd Forum.  I have looked it over and I suspect you might find som help here:

http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread5634.html

I am glad to see our wonderful members step up to the plate and give you advice and share with you.  They are so awesome and you are family here, but keep talking to us and know that any info you may learn re PTSD would be gratefully appreciated right here.

Love you and many prayers for you

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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Marie-Claire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 12/3/2008 6:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Kitt... have gone to the suggested ptsdforum and I think they will be helpful...
Healing thoughts and prayers to all of you.... and I apologize sooo very much for not being here to support this family as you have supported me. I'm just such a mess at the moment... don't think my advice would be helpful.... but I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.
 
 


Marie-Claire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 12/3/2008 6:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Supermom83... sounds like we have had similar experiences.... we may be able to help each other... please feel free to email me anytime... my email adress is in my profile.
Blessings
Mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/3/2008 6:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Sweet Mary

I am praying for you as always

You are in my heart

Luvs

Lyn
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 12/3/2008 11:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Mary you NEVER need to apologise for anything, we LOVE you and we are here for you, always always always!!

healing hugs, peace love and all my prayers, Maz XX


            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibro, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


Marie-Claire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 12/3/2008 11:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Lyn and Mazfire, Kitt and all of you.... Mazfire you made me cry.... I do feel your love and prayers and I am soooo thankful , feel so blessed to belong to this family.
sappy and tired old Mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/4/2008 6:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Keeping those thoughts love and prayers coming your way

Luvs

LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

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