Sorry all need to vent

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Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6492
   Posted 12/10/2008 3:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi All

Not in a good way, just had a bust up at work with my brother who works with me. I had no sleep last night so was not feeling my best and feeling anxious, when i arrived at work i had been changed to do something else (teach adults skiing) so was unprepared and out of my comfort zone so anxiety went through the roof. I took myself off to a quite room to try the techniques which i have learned so i could try and reduce my anxiety ready to teach when my brother walked in and asked if i was ok, so i said i had no sleep last night and i was feeling anxious about teaching this group as it was unexpected and not feeling happy about doing it and my brother got angry and said well you are doing it its your job which really hacked me off as i was going to do it and was just looking for a bit of support from my brother. My brother then went and took me off what i was going to do and then we had a argument and i left work and came home feeling really upset about the whole thing.

I do love my brother to bits but he struggles to understand what i am going through and thinks i can just snap out off these feelings, i wish it was as easy as that and that i did not get anxious or depressed and that i could lead my life without all these feelings but GAD does not let you do that. I am feeling prity low now as i hate arguing with my brother and i now i can overreact to things and said things to him in the heat of the moment which i should not off and he is probably feeling upset to. We do usually sort things out but i just wish we would not get into these situations in the first place and i wonder why people find it so hard to understand that anxiety and depression are horrible feelings to deal with and its a constant battle with your mind to keep on top of things. Today the anxiety has beaten me but i will pull through this and focus on tomorrow as a good friend of mine on HW said one step at a time which is great advice.

Feeling a bit better now for writing it down, people who are reading this who have not posted you should it really does help and the people on here are very supportive. I think what i need to do is just try and relax now and reduce the anxiety and try to think off something positive to increase my mood again i am supposed to be working tonight so still might go and do that and then i will need to go and say sorry to my brother and make up with him as i dont want there to be any bad feeling between us.

Nothing seems to be easy and each day throws up something else to deal with but i will get through this and i know others are dealing with the same issues with anxiety/depression together in the A/P forum we can all work together as one big family and help and support each other through the bad days as well as hearing about the good days and also leaving the anxiety in the fun threads which are great.

The A/P forum is strong with great members and we have not lost the family feeling which is brilliant every one stick in there as the festive season can be tough but with members like we have here i feel we will be ok.

Wow not like me to wright such a long thread as some of you will know i am dyslexic so this has just taken about an hour to wright not to good with the whole typing thing and need to keep checking spealing.

Thanks

Georgie Girl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 319
   Posted 12/10/2008 5:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi UH
Oh dear, no wonder you're upset.  Hopefully, your overall relationship with your brother will serve you well and you can work this out.  Sounds like you were doing the right thing, adjusting so that you could teach the class.  I don't know what you could have done differently. 
 
My husband doesn't understand bipolar, depression, or anxiety either.  Sometimes he tries, other times he just thinks I should "snap out of it".  I guess it's hard to understand what these conditions are like if one's not been there.  I try to explain it to him but he just doesn't get it.
 
Good luck to you with your brother.  I guess my advice would be to talk it out as soon as you're both really calmed down.  Sounds like you are already.
 
Krista
Georgie Girl


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/10/2008 8:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning Ben,
 
I am so sorry you are feeling down and I have been where you are so many times. I do not have disagreements with sibling but I will with my daughter and I am devestated and yet she can go on the next day and go mall shopping and just ignore the whole deal.  I sit at home and feel like I am broken in two and that I have caused WW III. 
 
Sweet Ben, people do not understand how we do our  very best to stay in the moment and practice what we have learned but others don't know that we are fighting the devil at times. Working daily with family members is not always a great deal.  You have a right to feel down at times as I suspect even someone without anxiety may not have liked being assigned a different job duty without prior knowledge.

Obviously when you're feeling at a low ebb, the last thing you tend to think about is the things that are good in your life. But to do this is a sure fire mood lifter and anxiety buster.

One of the best remedies for anxiety is to talk about it. Here's where good friends and family can come in. The old adage "A problem shared is a problem halved" comes into its own here, and while some  may dismiss it as nonsense, it may surprise them  how anxiety alleviating it can be to just talk to someone. I think you realize that after posting here.  Now to just sit down with your brother and tell him how you felt about the conflict and remember keep "you did"  out of the conversation and "stick to this is how I felt."

I know you can do this, one step in front of the other keep moving forward and a tiny backstep will not stop you from being all that you want to me.

"The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook."
~ William James

Many Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/10/2008 8:19 AM (GMT -7)   
(((Unhappy32))) sorry that you got zapped with the anxiety yesterday. Hopefully today will be a better day for you and you and your brother can patch things up. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless,
Gail *Nanners*
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis. Currently my Crohns is in remission.


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/10/2008 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Ben
My friend
OF course you were out of your 'ZONE"
I too wish ppl would get what we live day to day hour to hour when its really bad
Sometimes I think they DONT want to get "it"

Kinda then it makes us not a perfect being to them or we are way down on the scale ya know ........

IT took alot for you to go and find solace to get self into the "mode" of teaching something you have not taught
I am proud of you for that...........Email me k .........


YOU are so right
WE have begun to get that Family back and quickly I might add so we are good to go

Everyone has seen ( read) the changes you have made steps you have taken and believe me they are great........

I am so glad you finally did open up totally and post a long one for a change lol
It proves you do know who your" family" is and that they ( we ) "do get it"

Hoping your day is better my friend

Luvs
LYN


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/10/2008 10:04:19 AM (GMT-7)


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/10/2008 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   
OMG Skitt do we have the "SAME" daughter??? My 26 year old has to be the most selfish self centered girl I have ever met.
 
..........NOPE nanners.....I have a dil and son that is 34 and he was making all kinds of money in Alberta.....now he wants to take DIL from hades out there BUT of course since he made the bank account joint she has used all the money
I was telling lil  sis
That I got a call and was asked for 2,000 dollars like it was nothing
I SAID nope sorry cannot help you
Tough Love eh
** Sorry I had to post in yors as I wanted to tell that story and they wonder why our CD flares OH VEY.....Luvs
LYN

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 12/10/2008 10:09:24 AM (GMT-7)


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6492
   Posted 12/10/2008 10:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi All

Thank you all for your support i am going to goto work tonight i only need to be there for an hour and half and after i will sort things out with my brother. Hope i can get a bit more sleep tonight, i am going to France on Friday for three mounths and i am very anxious about going away for such a long time as i will be away from my doctor etc etc. I know that once im there i will enjoy myself though.

Ben

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/10/2008 10:05 AM (GMT -7)   
OMG
3 mths
WE are gonna miss you my friend
Hoping you find access to puter...........

YOU will have fun I know you will ........ smilewinkgrin

Luvs
LYN

** make sure you have enough meds my friend plz.........**


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/11/2008 2:47:29 PM (GMT-7)


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 12/10/2008 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   
My husband expects me to "snap out of it," too. He gets angry and that adds anxiety to me. They don't realize the whole illness is one where we are not thinking clearly sometimes. We catastrophize and the "what ifs." It may be too, that they feel helpless and so get angry. Keep up the relaxation! Good luck!

Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6492
   Posted 12/10/2008 11:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi

Lyn i will be taking my laptop with with and have wireless in my appartment so i will still be able to come onto HW which i am glad about.

Aries thanks for your comments it is hard to get people who dont suffer with anxiety to understand as they think it is something which we can just snap out off and dont relise that it is a mental illness. This is why i like coming onto HW so much as people do understand.

Take Care

Ben

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 12/10/2008 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   

Ben,

I'm so glad you will be able to stay in contact with us..now remember to throw that anxiety out the window when you leave, this will be an adventure and your HW family will be here to cheer you on.

Aires, I can't stand being told to "snap" out of it...makes me want to send them on ten hour roller coaster ride and ask them how they are feeling..oh a bit sick and upset? Snap out of it!! Know that we "get it" here. You are welcome to vent anytime. We all do.

Good luck Ben, Hugs,

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6492
   Posted 12/11/2008 10:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Meg

Glad to see you back. I have just finished my last day of work and i am now on holiday until 31st March heading off to Chamonix in France tomorrow its going to be a long drive so not looking forward to driving anxiety. Im running round like a nutter at the moment trying to get every thing sorted as i have left every thing to the last minute. Feeling anxious about going away for such a long time but know it will do me good to have a break from work and will hopefully improve my mood. Going to do my best to stay off the booze over the festive period but think i might give into it and end up having a drink. Had an other sleepless night last night so much going on in my head at the moment.

On a positive i made up with my brother so it wont be world war 3 on the drive down to France which is good. I also had a better day at work today, i had a one on one ski lesson which i usually get very anxious about as i dont like one on one situations for some reason, but it went really well managed to keep anxiety at an ok level and the guy was so happy with the ski lesson that he gave me a £20 tip and said i was a really good instructor which made me feel good so ended my last day on a positive note for a change.

Right i better get on with the packing and try and calm myself down im sure i am going to forget something , thanks you all for your comments my thoughts are with you all

Ben

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/11/2008 2:50 PM (GMT -7)   
......Yes Ben
YOU are forgetting ME...........whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa    cry        cry

I wanna go so does all of us

Please...........

Seriously you will do well and again do not forget meds
Have a fantabulous time oky

Sure glad you are gonna be able to come here

Luvs
Your Canuck Good Luck Charm


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

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