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Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 12/11/2008 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I called in sick for work today, at 5am. its cold, its raining heavily and my fibro is flaring up badly. my sinuses are also infected and i have ruptured eardrums. i got up, typed up my lessons and emailed them to the school- when i told my parents i was staying home, they guilt tripped me- mum, who is a nurse, claimed that i "look fine" and should have gone. dad basically said "i expect this from you" as if i call in sick all the time. ive been cut back to 2 days a wk next yr, and my parents think its because im unreliable- when in fact, 5 other teachers had their workload cut back due to budget cuts.
i hate feeling unsupported, being made to feel guilty. i would move back out in a heartbeat, but cant afford to. they are good parents and they mean well and have the best intentions, they just think i dont take my job seriously, which i do. my stomach is in knots, as mum remarked that they might take my 2 days off me next yr and give them to someone else- this shouldnt happen, but now im all "what if?" because im broke paying back my student loans, credit cards and medical bills.
i just want financial stability and financial independance. i try so hard to so the right thing and it always backfires.
 
\needed to unoad,
Maz XX
            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/11/2008 1:44 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Maz,

Some people have never read an article or picked up a book  to learn about parenting.  They are ignorant to the fact that you have feelings and still look upon you as a child and feel they have the right to comment on  your actions. Also you live in their house so they feel they have the right to speak out their opinion.

If your sick, and you called in then they should support you and instead it comes out all in criticizing.

You are now internalizing what they said, you feel hurt and angry and on top of that ill.

Temporary fluctuations in our self confidence are common, they happen to most of us. Try self talk, tell yourself you are fine. It feels to me like your parents knock you off track with their behavior.  I think your awesome and I hope you feel better. 

Talk to your Mum when you feel better and do not let in turn into an argument, just let her know how you feel when those comments were made.

Luvs and lots of warm hugs.

Kitt

 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 12/11/2008 1:59 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks Kitt, mum is usually very supportive and understanding- im not sure why she reacted the way she did, it is out of character for her. dad is usually the 'guilt tripper'. they mean well, and im grateful i have a place to stay, but a more sympathetic approach would help alot. i probably COULD have dragged myself in, but it would have been a struggle and im too tired for that.
 
Maz XX

p.s just spoke to mum- she said its just that she is concerned about my future, she worries about me

            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.
 
 

Post Edited (Mazfire) : 12/11/2008 2:08:00 PM (GMT-7)


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/11/2008 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Awww Maz sorry to hear you are under the weather. I agree with Kitt when you are feeling better maybe sit down with Mom & Dad and let them know how their comments hurt. I have a chronic health condition that will choose to flare at anytime, no matter how well I take care of myself. What sucks is that it is an intestinal disorder, so while you feel like utter poop on the inside, you don't look so bad on the outside. So many times I hear, "You don't look sick", but inside I feel horrible. So much like anxiety my illness can't be seen on the outside. So I really do understand what it is like when people make insensitive comments like that. Sending lots of gentle hugs and hope you get feeling better soon.

Gail *Nanners*
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis. Currently my Crohns is in remission.


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/11/2008 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Maz
Maybe your mom is also having a bad day and perhaps she is afraid when you are this ill
I know I get angry when Cait is ill at times and I really do not mean too
I always feel so bad .........
Just a thought

I know you from here and I know you would NOT just stay home for "just any reason"
WE here all know that and how important your kids are to you

I think also Kitt has great input

I am not saying your mom was right at doing what she did at all ..........

You are a great asset to this forum and I am so sorry your fibro is flaring as well
Mine started today as well as Crohns so it is not a good day

Luvs
Lyn/ Sis
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 12/11/2008 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Maz, sorry to hear that you are not feeling well again today. I'm going to say a prayer for you :)

I agree with Lyn. . . I tend to be a bit to sharp with my kids when they are chronically doing something I feel is detrimemental to their futures, even if it is something they have no control over, because I feel bad and scared for them :)

Love ya! You better get better now and keep your chin up :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort :)
TTYL,
 
Sam
 
 


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 12/11/2008 6:35 PM (GMT -7)   

thankyou all- you are right, my parents respond out of fear- fear that i will never be well enough to live a full and happy, productive life.

im doiing my best. thankyou ALL, your support is immeasurable. Maz XX


            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 12/11/2008 7:28 PM (GMT -7)   

Maz,

Isn't this rain a blessing? I'm sorry to hear your fibro is acting up, but it's such a joy to have some cool weather and listen to the rain drum on the roof.

My mother used to guilt trip me, my father would but I refuse to have contact with him so he does it through my siblings. Real mature. Now my Ma is my number one supporter. She doesn't "get" anxiety but she has seen me in debilitating panic attack mode and she doesn't question my judgement anymore (well apart from regular mum stuff!).

Fear and love does motivate parents to react in a hurtful manner. Be the bigger person..let them worry but don't take it onboard. It's your life and your decision. Anyway it's the last week of term..what can be achieved?

Hope your day improves..go dance in the rain..It'll make your hair frizz and we can be the frizz sistas!

Love, meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 12/12/2008 3:39 AM (GMT -7)   
sadly i still have a whole week left of school- all of next week. yuk yuk, my body is screaming for rest, my brain is in overload mode.
so frustrating! mad
            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/12/2008 10:48 AM (GMT -7)   

Maz,

Think of the worst thing that might happen with this misunderstanding and then kick it to the curb.  You are living your life my dear friend.

It is only a myth that people without mental health issues or medical conditions are the lucky and happy ones. Why is the  person that is the one who collects all the credit for making comments that start with They say......................  Just who is They?  Lets drop kick them into a gruop of roos.

Smile, you are beautiful.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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