Hi Im New! Also got question

Is this roommate a jerk?
Yes - 100.0%
No - 0.0%

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/11/2008 5:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone , my name is mike.
I have been dianosed with Axiety Disorder, Panic Disorder/ and social phobia just recently after struggling with what i had since Iraq , the VA is helping me out now.
They have prescribed me with sertraline and clonazepam which really actually helps. also seeing a therapist as well which also helps. She suggested i talk with other folks in a forum or support group and since i cant seem to fnd any around in my area. here i am :D
I do have a question and i know how im going to fix it but i will have to deal with this person for at least another month before i move into my new  place so..here goes.
This person seems to always try to lower my self esteem any chance he gets when im up no matter. and when i get mad about it and we argue he always tells me im crazy and i need ot take my meds..please this is hurtful and everytime i try to sit down with him and explain to him my illness he says ok i understand but still tells me and others that im crazy. one other roommate said to me that when i entered the room and left he told this girl that was there with the physco symbol, twirling of the finger around the head thing. but after i talked to her she said that i was cool and i dont know what "the guy" as a problem with.  any time i try to work on my social phobia hes there trying to bring me down infront of them. I dont want to get pissy cuz then that causes me to most of the time get into a panic attack of course and there he goes saying looking hes going crazy. he says hes my friend but why would friends keep tormenting me and insulting me. So my help i need is how can i cope living with this guy till i can move into my new place , im trying to heal , but his comments and way he treats me makes me fill like im making no progress. I also added a poll weather if this guy is a jerk or its just in my head heh. oh and everytime i try to talk to him about the way he does , hes gets mad and that im just paranoid and crazy and to take my meds which i take everyday and i feel fine actually great. i only need half a tablet of the clonazepam every 12 hours and the zoloft once per day.
I need advice on how to handle the situation. Anytime i try to walk away from him so no drama will build he goes to my room and keeps going.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/11/2008 5:20 PM (GMT -6)   
THIS person is NOT good for you at all as you know
He does not have respect for you and IMHO is not a friend
Friends dont do what he is doing

Stay in a good place within yourself and try to avoid him at all costs until you are in your own lace

You will find the support and caring sharing and " understanding" right here
WE are a tight knit lil family and we strongly take care of each other

I am sure you willl get more posts on this'
This is just my opinion
YOU are making great steps to get better.....DO NOT let him ruin it for you


.....BTW....MANY ppl do not GET what we have and they do the same as he but not to that extent I dont think............

Thatmay not make him a jerk it makes him Ignorant of the Anxiety /Panic/ Depression and Mental illnesses that are rampant.........

Again just my thought and STAY with us ...........LYN

 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/11/2008 3:23:12 PM (GMT-7)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 12/11/2008 5:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Geez, what a dilemma! For the first time in my life I'm speechless. This roommate of yours is a jerk! There's no way you can move out earlier than planned? This guy is bad news for your health. You're doing all the right things and then you have to deal with him. I was going to suggest staying out of his way as much as possible. See if that works. If you're trying to work on the social phobia, you could try malls, Starbuck's, church, etc. Anything that doesn't involve him. Stay with us! Many of the people who post here are very helpful and kind. Welcome and let us know how you're doing! Carol

Green Grove
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 12/11/2008 6:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Mike :)

Glad to meet you. Sounds like you are living with a real jerk. My entire family is military, and with that comes a lot of stress, responsibility, and what should be respect for those fighting and their families. All I have to say about him is that at least you are not going to be there long. Just ignore him until you can get out of there, hopefully ASAP. He should have respect at least as a "friend" not to mention the fact that you have been through a lot that many people could not even imagine.

Anyway, hope all works out for you, and welcome to the forum here. This is the best support group I have ever had in my life, so I think you will like it too :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort :)

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6376
   Posted 12/11/2008 6:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Mike

Glad you have found this forum as Lyn said we are a tight knit family here and we understand what you are going through with your anxiety. Sounds to me like your room mate in insecure in himself and he is taking it out on you to make him self feel better which is not on, you say that the meds are helping and that you feel fine actually great and that is a massive positive and your other friends sound supportive. Some people find it hard to understand our illness and call us crazy or mental but usually these people dont have a clue and if they actually took the time to listen they may understand what we go through on a daily basis.

I would say to try and ignore him and focus on getting better and that you only have a short time before you can move out and then i would not have any thing more to do with him as someone like that can really get you down, stick in there Mike and know that we are here to listen and support you if needed so keep posting to tell us how things are going if he keeps coming to your room lock your door and he will soon get the message.

Take Care


New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/11/2008 10:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for reading the novel and your comments :). I will surely take the advice of avoiding him as much as possiable. Im just looking forward to getting into my new place :D i think that will be my happy place ill picture if i start feeling that im getting stressed. I think short answers is the best way to go with this guy thats what i did when we were riding to class tonight , he ask a question and i just answer as short as possiable and thats it.
Thank you all your support folks, really appreciate it.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 12/11/2008 10:59 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Zerican,

Welcome to HW. I couldn't agree more. This guy is a bully and a jerk. He is putting his own insecurities onto you. Don't put up with it at all. I think walking away is a smart way to deal with the situation if you don't want to create a drama and feed into his ridiculous behaviour. If it makes you feel better write him a letter and when you leave hand it to him with a big grin on your face.

Goodbye, so long! It's hard to live in a space with an agressive person, but I would just bide my time and leave. He doesn't deserve your time or your worry. Don't dignify him with that..just do your own thing and walk away when he is being a jerk. That's not being weak, it's being the bigger person.

Let us know how you go, again, welcome.


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/11/2008 11:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh if he so happens to call me crazy again, im trying to think of something productive but not aggressive to say back. Any suggestions on a good comment to say back to that doesnt essculate to insulting but might make him think twice about saying it again?

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/11/2008 11:21 PM (GMT -6)   
I posted information on my Disorder from the VA on the fridge so people will know and what to expect if i have a attack, and just a few minutes ago he comes with the papers and says " Um why did you post this on the fridge?" and i said " So everyone in the household knows my condition and what to expect and will know how to help me calm down or what to do." and he stares at me and says " Well your not the only one who has problems you know , we all have problems and we all can adapt here together." I said. " well the thing is im trying to work on this myself but i also need other people in the household to be supportive , number one thing is ot not try to bring my self esteem down." and he says " Well no one is doing it on purpose." and I said. " im sorry but saying im crazy and need to take my meds isnt very productive to me progressing of my illness, Then telling vistors im crazy behind my back isnt very helpful either when i have to hear about them. and then said I also am taking my advice of my theripist and getting out of the sitution." "So your moving?" and i said yes and he says " great now i have to worry about my mortatage even more." and i said " Im sorry but living with you is unhealthy for me." and he left. I do not think he is very pleased with me right now but amazingly I talk to him really calm no matter how much he yelled. I know that was a progressive step im so happy for my self. im going to get a bowl of smart start cinnom rasin bran, man that stuff is good for a treat.
Regards and best wishes

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/11/2008 11:24 PM (GMT -6)   

Hello Mike,

Glad to have you with us.   :)

I am sorry this is happening to you but obviously you are a victim of psycholgical  harrassment. He is looking to hurt you on purpose even thow he is just running at the mouth. This does not sound like a person you want to get into any kind of verabal debate with as you are planning to move.  Once you have moved he will also be removed from your life.

For now take care of you and don't spend a lot of time trying to figure  out how to out talk him.  He has a lot of practice and you have anxiety.  Pick your battles carefully and this may be one to let go of.  Just walk away and do not give him the time of day. Do not let his words goad you into anger.

The key to switching out of an anxiety state is to accept it fully. Remaining in the present and accepting your anxiety cause it to disappear.

A: Accept the anxiety. Welcome it. Don’t fight it. Replace your rejection, anger, and hatred of it with acceptance. By resisting, you’re prolonging the unpleasantness of it. Instead, flow with it. Don’t make it responsible for how you think, feel, and act.

W: Watch your anxiety. Look at it without judgment – not good, not bad. Rate it on a 0-to-10 scale and watch it go up and down. Be detached. Remember, you’re not your anxiety. The more you can separate yourself from the experience, the more you can just watch it.

A: Act with the anxiety. Act as if you aren’t anxious. Function with it. Slow down if you have to, but keep going. Breathe slowly and normally. If you run from the situation your anxiety will go down, but your fear will go up. If you stay, both your anxiety and your fear will go down.

R: Repeat the steps. Continue to accept your anxiety, watch it, and act with it until it goes down to a comfortable level. And it will. Just keep repeating these three steps: accept, watch, and act with it.

E: Expect the best. What you fear the most rarely happens. Recognize that a certain amount of anxiety is normal. By expecting future anxiety you’re putting yourself in a good position to accept it when it comes again.

When this toxic person starts in just let his thoughts in and recognize them as stinkin thoughts and kick the thoughts to the curb.

I see happiness in your future.

Welcome to the best A & P  forum on the net, you have just joined a wonderful family who will support you and care for you.

May you have peace within,



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/11/2008 11:51 PM (GMT -6)   
:D thanks kit I love the AWARE i will definitley do that.

---Do not worry what might of been, thats in the past
---Do not worry what will happen, that is in the future
---Enjoy the moment your in, its a gift! Why do you think they call it the Present?
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