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Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/12/2008 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, my name is Shia (Siona)
I've suffered from anxiety for 5 years. I recently moved in with my grandmother who is 86 years old. She drives me crazy and I realized my anxiety had gotten worse living with her. She is crazy!!! She is manipulating and she lies so much. She has selective Alzheimer's disease if that's even real, she makes me feel so bad about myself and she makes me extremely stressful, she doesn't understand boundaries and thinks the worlds revolves around her.
Anyways, my dad ran out of the family when i was 15 and my mother recently stopped drinking and remarried and moved to another state. I didn't want to move with them because I got to school here in CA and plan on staying here. I always feel so lonely and empty I have a hard time keeping friends because of my anxiety. (Can't go out due to anxiety). I recently turned 21 and I am in desperate need for some support :(
I can't work and move out because I am undocumented so I am pretty much stuck. :(
All I need is people I can relate to and feel comfortable with :)
I'm 21 years old currently enrolled in school, I enjoy watching Friends, 2 Half Men, Family Guy and American Dad :)

XX
Shia

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 12/12/2008 6:40 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Shia,

Welcome to Healing Well. I'm glad you found us. We are a supportive community and we have fun too. I'm sorry to hear about your 5 year history of anxiety. Have you ever recieved treatment for it? There are great health professionals out there who can help and some nifty books as well.

It must be difficult living with your grandmother and selective alzheimers is probably making things harder. Is she recieving any care or are you the main caregiver? Sorry to ask so many questions, just want to get an idea of resources we might find to help make your life a little easier.

Please stick with us okay and feel free to join in any of our threads..you might want to come join us on the flying carpet..it's a good laugh and great therapy.

Cheers,

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/12/2008 6:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Basically, she "chooses" to have Alzheimer's when it is convenient for her. She doesn't want to take medication or wear hearing aids... I literally have to yell my brains out in order for her to hear me!
She is anti social and thinks she is better than everyone else, also she can't distinguish the difference between an opinion and a fact. Meaning if SHE thinks something is right then it is the right way and everyone else's wrong and stupid for being wrong. I am her caregiver basically and all I get is a roof. She doesn't like cooking and doesn't let me cook because it "disrespect" to her... Since I live at her house she can disrespect me because I am "poor" and need a place to live... That's how she thinks

I am gone to therapy I recently change me therapist cause she wasn't really helping I felt attacked because I had a hard time working on the anxiety.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/12/2008 7:46 PM (GMT -7)   
nono ..Excuse me BUT no one Chooses to have this disease
I have lost BOTH parents to Alzheimers and I worked with AD pple for many many yrs
I find your post to be very hurtful to those that have loved ones with this disease
 
Your GMA has earned the right to be respected and revered since she is an elder.....
AND your GMA
 
I Cannot hear out of one ear at all and 40 % is gone
I am waiting for Hearing aid
There are so many pple last count was over 5 million just in USA alone with AD or a demetia
 
I am sure she may be yelling but I am also sure she is scared to death of what is going on withinn her because of this and what it takes from them and believe me it takes alot
Maybe she feels like a burden when you are  cooking for her
Sounds like it is time to see a neuroligist to have her totally checked out
What meds is she on??

THERE is NO such thing as "Selective Alzheimers"
It is not like " Selective hearing"........
 
I know you said you cannot get a job but can you perhaps get some help to get out and on your feet in your own place
 
There are caregivers that willl come around the clock for her and that would take any responsibilty from you and relieve your anxiety
some
 
PLEASE read the threadas in Alzheimers and you will no doubt see she has a dementia of some type there is alot more than one
 
YOUR Gma deserves to be loved and respected
This topic is VERY close to my heart..........
 
I am sorry this is causing anxiety but if you think rea hard about it and re read what you wrote it is a very sad post and sounds like you are just there to have aplce to stay and personally that is not a good reason
She does need someone to love respect and care for her.........
You can email me about this further if you wish
 
Again plz do read the posts on Alzheimers threads............LYN........ 
 


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/12/2008 8:08:49 PM (GMT-7)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/12/2008 7:54 PM (GMT -7)   
S.I.S.
There is no such thing as selective Alzheimers
AS there is no such thing as selective diabetes or anxiety.....
They are real DD

Luvs
S.I.S.


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/12/2008 7:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh no sorry didn't mean it in that way.. I mean that she doesn't really have Alzheimer's disease... Acts that she has it so she can get away with her lies and stuff.
She was never diagnosed with it.
I am not in any ways disrespecting people who have Alzheimer's. I meant "selective" as in she chooses to have it went it's in her convenient. She doesn't have the disease. I have all her medical diagnosis and I know her. She doesn't have it never been diagnosed.

Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/12/2008 8:02 PM (GMT -7)   
She is on cholesterol and high blood pressure meds... She always takes those, she is fairly healthy for her age. I've taken her to all her check ups and everything she is very healthy doesn't have Alzheimer's and she is not forgetful either, just acts like she is so she can get away with her lies and manipulation. She has always been rich in her life and thinks she can disrespect everyone else since she has money. Thats her personality she has always been like this, even my mom has had bad experience with her. I have respect for the elderly and for the disease but I have a hard time respecting someone who disrespects me and presents me as a bad person in front of our family members and they take her words for it because they don't want to get on her bad side, because they don't want to be talked about and hated.

Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/12/2008 8:04 PM (GMT -7)   
... Doesn't take her vitamins and her heart medications (Bayer Asprin)

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/12/2008 8:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Take her to a nuerologist just for her sake
They have better ways to DX

I am wondering if you ever had dealings with azlheimers and ppl it takes from us ??
LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/12/2008 8:14 PM (GMT -7)   
My aunt took her, she had to go through a full test on memory and stuff and numbers that she had to repeat backwards... She got brain scans and everything was perfectly fine.

Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/12/2008 8:17 PM (GMT -7)   
We all thought she had it, but she is just naturally like that and has always been this way. There are not medical reason why, psychologist say she wants to get away with the things she does. She steals and lies so much, but blames it on her memory and we believed her. Until we checked her out.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/12/2008 8:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Posted 4/26/2008 10:35 AM (GMT -5)
1...Alzheimers D is a progressive,degenerative disease that detroys brain cells.
....It is NOT a normal part of AGING

2...The symptoms of AD include a gradual onset and continual decline of memory,changes in judgement or reasoning,and an inability to perform familiar tasks

3..AD eventually effects al aspects of a persons life,including how he / she thinks,feels acts and reacts to their environment

4..Presently there is NO known CURE for this fatal disease

5..Medications are available to treat some of the symptoms

6..Currently there is no way to prevent AD but there is growing evidence that there ARE things ppl can do that may help to lower their risks

7..There are 2 types of Alzheimer's Disease

A) Sporadic Alzheimer's Disease is the MOST commom......makes up to 90 95 % of all cases

B) Familial Alzheimer's Dominant ( FAD) AD is the rare inherited form and involves 5 to 10 % of cases .......

** I will be adding more facts as well as talking about Related Dementias such as
A) Creutzfeldt - Jakob Disease
B) Lewy Body Demetia
C) Frontotemporal Demetia ( Pick's Disease)
D) Vascular Demetia

Also will be posting some warning signs and statistics........

THis DD is taking our loved ones daily .....it needs to have more research monies allotted to help and it desperately needs to find some hope and a possible slowing down of the amount of ppl we have with this
In America alone more than 5 million ppl have AD and it is raising alarmingly
In Canada more than 4 hundred thousand have this as well ......

PLease do what you can to make a difference
Voluteer at local Alzheimer (Chapter) Society
Anything especailly visiting shut ins and those in homes that have no visitors is the greatest gift you will ever give..........

Any dementia can fester in a very quick manner or make the loved ones suffer unessarily for yrs
.....How long ago was the Memory test
Neuros have many different and conclusive tests for making a DX
LYN


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/12/2008 8:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Lyn, thats some good information :)

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/12/2008 8:42 PM (GMT -7)   

Shia,

I just want to visit with you re your post.

Your Grandmother is 86. 

When Alzheimer’s disrupts memory, language, thinking and reasoning, these effects are referred to as “cognitive symptoms” of the disease. The term “behavioral and psychiatric symptoms” describes a large group of additional symptoms that occur to at least some degree in many, but by no means all, individuals with Alzheimer’s.

In early stages of the disease, people may experience personality changes such as irritability, anxiety or depression. In later stages, other symptoms may occur, including sleep disturbances; agitation (physical or verbal outbursts, general emotional distress, restlessness, pacing, shredding paper or tissues, yelling); delusions (firmly held belief in things that are not real); or hallucinations (seeing, hearing or feeling things that are not there).

Many individuals with Alzheimer’s and their families find behavioral and psychiatric symptoms to be the most challenging and distressing effects of the disease.

Now re your post, your attitude appears to be that your anxiety is all your Grandmother's fault as she is causing you to feel anxious yet you chose to live with her.

You also had problems with your therapist, you posted "You felt attacked".

I am sorry but IMHO it appears you have your own problems and you need to learn to accept you have anxiety and to deal with it.  We have lots of great people with anxiety on the forum.  Rewrite your post to tell us what your anxieties are, why you did not choose to live with your Mother and what happens when you finish school?

Your Grandmother has provided you with a place to live and at 86 yes she is going to be on opposite ends of the scale as you are 2 generations apart. She also owns the home and is sharing with you.  Please treat her with respect. 

I agree 100%, there is no such thing as selective Alzheimers.

My 2 cents, you need to move out and give your Grandmother back her home. How about the Aunt that took her to the doctors, could you stay with her?

Respectfully

Kitt

 

 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/12/2008 9:11 PM (GMT -7)   
I can't live with my mother because I am undocumented and in the state of Arizona undocumented students have to pay non resident fee's for school meaning 17000 dollars compared to Cali colleges that offer programs for undocumented students, their tuition is 1876. My mom just got laid off and she has a hard time finding a job since she is undocumented herself and can only work as an independent contractor.
So, I moved in with my grandma. Nobody in our family really likes her since she has made everyone's life a living hell (not because of her age) I have another grandmother who is wonderful and sweet and a darling, I love her so much but she lives very far plus she is not my real grandma she is my step dad's mom. So my step grandmother. My grandma, the one I live with, is not sick. I have more health complications than she has, it is not because of her age she is the way she is, it's because she has always been spoiled in life and been rich. I do have respect for her, but it is extremely hard for me to have full respect for someone who treats me so horrible. She believes that she can treat me bad since I am poor and live under her roof. I am always home to take care of her, I skip school on days that she isn't feel well (why not get a caregiver) she doesn't think she needs one. She puts coins on objects so she can detect to see if I have touched the water today or if I have poured myself food. And then she asks me if I have eaten or drank water and if I say I haven't she'll say she had put a coin on the water bottle and now it's not there and starts accusing me of stealing and lying about drinking water. I have been around other elderly people, even older than her and they're not like that. I'm around my bf's grandparents all the time and they're 95 and 90 years old and are amazing!! It's just my grandmothers personality, my mother says she has always been like this even in her young ages. So it has nothing to do with her age, it's her!!
My anxiety comes from personal things and I was fine not having any panic attacks but when i moved in i started getting them again because my living circumstances were horrible. I agree too there is nothing like selective Alzheimer's but when she is confronted with something by my aunts or my mom or me or other grand children she blames it on her age. And she has a good memory, even her doctors told us that. She is very smart and sneaky and that's just how she is nothing to do with her age.
Anyways, I know I shouldn't had brought this up and it is probably my fault. Alzheimer's disease is a devastating disease my best friends mother is suffering and it is so hard to watch, because she feels so helpless she can't do anything to help her mother :( It is hard :(
Thanks for hearing me out

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/12/2008 9:29 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey there, Let's hear about your personal problems with anxiety.  How does it affect your life and your relationships with your friends.

What triggers it and how do you handle being in public when anxiety strikes.

WE have lots of info to help you with anxiety.

Talk to us about your issues and lets help you and leave Gma to your Aunts and Mom.

Does that sound fair? We are the anxiety experts, we have anxiety, it does not have us.

Thanks

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/12/2008 9:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt that sounds good...
My anxiety comes when I don't express my emotion. I have always had a hard time expressing, recently I broke down and cried and I felt so good right after all the anxiety seemed to go away until I had an emotion is express again. I fear leaving home most time especially far away.
I was abused as a child, therefore, I fear loud noises and people yelling. I get very anxious in the mornings and almost can't breath it's horrible, I think it's because I would always get yelled at in the mornings when I was a child because I would get so sick due to anxiety of school. My father was the abuser and my mother always protected me. One incidence that has caused so much anxiety for me is the picture I have in my head. I was 4 years old and my mother was pregnant with my sister and my father was hitting my mom and my mom was holding on to her stomach and praying so hard. I didn't know what to do and felt so helpless I remember running in the room and locking the door and praying to God to keep the baby safe. Till this day I'm very protective over my mother and my sister and I get extreme anxiety when they are sick or if something bad happens to them. ( BTW this is the first time I sharing with people other than my therapist)
Anxiety has taken over my, I don't feel like myself anymore and I miss myself :( Everything I do is based on my anxiety.
So I found these forums and read a few of the threads and thought this was a perfect place for me :)

-Shia

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/12/2008 10:03 PM (GMT -7)   
.....YOU can beat most of this with taking baby steps
reading other threads and getting input as well

I totally agree
it is not fair to talk about your GMA

With what you are saying IT does sound to me that she is developing a dementia
PLEASE DO have her tested by a Neurolgist

AS Kitt said we will help you with YOUR anxiety but plz do let GMA be and remeber you are lucky and blessed to still have her...........
LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 12/13/2008 12:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Shia, I hear what you're saying. It's possible your grandma is just not a nice person since your mother and other family members have had problems with her. But you're stuck for now. I would do what I could to keep your grandmother happy and content. Work toward becoming documented and self reliant. Also, keep seeing your therapist.

Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/13/2008 12:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for your responds Aries.
I do my best to keep her happy but my therapist says, I should come first and if I'm feeling miserable by doing all these deeds for her and helping her and all that then I should stop being overly nice to her just so she doesn't call me a bad child or demons kid. My mother and my aunts are amazed on how I can live with her and how I haven't ran out of the house yet and reason is if I did I'd have nowhere to stay :( I only sleep here rest of the time I'm at starbucks near my street. If I spent 12 hours with her I would go insane. Please do not get the wrong idea I'm not against older people, it's just her personality and I try to find sympathy for her so I don't hate her but it's so hard. I lived in shelter for women for a while because it was so hard for me. I hope I'm not disrespecting anyone's feelings, this is just her personality nothing to do with her age.
I see my therapist ones a week, but I want to increase the hours. These therapists are interns so they leave every year and I get a new one. For the past 4 years i've keep the ones I receive but this time my physician asked me if I wanted to change because a few people had problems with the therapist I was seeing and I agreed. I saw my new therapist last week she was amazing :) She asked every detail of my life and got a good picture of what she could do to help me. She specializes in anxiety patients, so I'm hoping this will be a good experience for me. I'm very excited :) Thanks for reading my story, I really appreciate it. :)

-Shia

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 12/13/2008 1:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Shia :) It is nice to meet you.

Sorry, thought I had already said hello, but I guess not :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort :)
TTYL,
 
Sam
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/13/2008 8:11 PM (GMT -7)   
YOUR GMA had got some definite sx of Dementia in my honest opinion and I really do think it is NECESSARY to have her tested by Neuro and again be treated with all DUE respect

I have to be honest here this post has bothered me most of the night

I not only only my parents withing 2 yrs of one another but lost my GMA 2 yrs prior to MOm

MAKE good memories with her
Try writing a letter saying you are sorry and that you will try to be more understanding..........
YOur GMA wont be here forever and this will come to hurt you ..........in the end.......
The loss of a special woman in your life whether you think so or not

Gmas and Moms are hard to loose ..........so are fathers

PLEASE do read the AD forum to get some thoughts from there
Especially the Poem ...........
And the further posts on the Alzheimers can go over there k
Thanks for your understanding
It has not been long since I lost my dad ........and it hurt to read your post .........
LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

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