Do You Have To deal With Family and Others that JUST do NOT get 'IT"

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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/12/2008 8:56 PM (GMT -7)   
turn
Yes I do
My family thought I was a total nutcase and took too may meds
SAD but true cause I had IV's stuck in me all the time Cait was teased at PS that her mom was a druggie
 
AS for the illnesses I do have I take Howie and cait to doc's with me especially if its a new doc for specific lllness and I have them hear from Doc' own mouth what I am going thru and what they can do to help out smilewinkgrin
 
 
THAT sure helps out here for us ...........
 
Now for the Fibro and anxiety,crohns as well as chronic pain I print out pages I find that will help them try to understand more and it does help
 
.......I dont kow if there is a perfect way but I try everyway I can to let them know
They have seen my sores that go to the bones and also have seen me in cd flare or fibro flare and it is not nice but it does help them see I am not
Just 'PUTTING" it alll on ya know.....
 
How about others here
Same probs and how do you deal with it .
 
Mods n Members turn
 
 


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

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                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
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  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/12/2008 9:02:45 PM (GMT-7)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/13/2008 8:06 AM (GMT -7)   

How do I deal............to be honest I don't always deal as I have taken my 2 adult children to therapy and the therapist explained it all to them.  The next time I met with my therapist she asked what I thought of how it went bringing the kids and having her explain as the kids asked questions.

I told the therapist, one of them understood and the other one did not.  My daughter was looking for a boiler plate answer on how to deal with Mom.  She agreed completely as My daughters question were more to the how do we know when she really needs us and when she is just upset.

When I call either one on a day I really need support they just chalk it up to Mom is having a bad day.................... cry

I had a bad day once this week and I did call my daughter who came over on a limited time frame ( just like at the Pdoc) and her idea was "want to go to Sam's club with us tonight?"

My husband is so confused by all the meds and cannot understand what meds I am prescribed for what. He ends up angry and frustrated as the drama is just to much for him so he heads up north where it is peaceful...............and of course I am not there.

So how do I handle it, alone and with you my family here and my Big Sis. :-)

Well that is my story and I don't want to trigger the past so right now I am returning to the present moment.

Bless each of you.

Hugs
Lil Sis
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/13/2008 9:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Lyn I think that is good idea about taking family members to the doc with you. My daughter who has bad Fibro did that with her husband, and it helped for a little while at least. They are having other probs right now, and I still don't think he understands her pain.

Luckily I have a very supportive husband, and that makes things easier for me.
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis. Currently my Crohns is in remission.


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 12/13/2008 11:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Family members don't get it. But they would if they suffered from this. Then they'd want to know what we do to keep ourselves from going crazy. You do feel lonely when no one understands. It's okay, though. I don't need family to get me through this. Eventually you just stop discussing your anxiety problems with them. That's what I did.

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 12/13/2008 12:03 PM (GMT -7)   
I am lucky up to a point. My family will ask me how I am doing at least, and if there is anything they can do, but that is about it. When it comes to the doing, I am better off getting things done myself, instead of waiting and thinking about it all the time (another wonderful problem of mine :) My family pretty much relies on me for everything, but I also took on the extra responsibility of looking after my grandmother in her later years also, so I really can't complain too much. I'm glad I get to spend this wonderful time with her in her golden years :)

As far as taking the fam in to the doc, I think that is one of the best ideas I've heard, that could be used by many people. It is hard to have the non compassion/caring, or at least it feeling that way.

Take care you all :)


Much Love, Hugs, Peace and Comfort!!!  Your Bro. . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
 "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!"
~Franklin D. Roosevelt~
~Click on the Ads to help HealingWell.com~
Not a medical professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle :)

Post Edited (Green Grove) : 1/2/2009 8:49:01 PM (GMT-7)


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6499
   Posted 12/13/2008 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   
My mum and dad are both very supportive towards me and they are starting to understand what i go throw on a daily basis and i now feel i can talk to them more openly than what i used to which is great. My brothers struggle to understand and cant see how anxiety/depression seems to affect me so much and think im hard work and that i need to just get on with things, i do find this very frustrating but i suppose it is hard to understand unless you have gone through anxiety/depression yourself. I do get angry with them about this but try my best not to hold a grudge as i love them both dearly .

In regards to friends i have only told a few good friends about my GAD and some have been really understanding and some have not. I think this is the reason why i keep a lot of how im feeling to myself as i dont want to go through the whole thing off telling someone and then them not understand and i also worry about there reaction as there is still a lot of stigma attached to mental illness.

I find that if someone does not understand then i get really down about it and get all sorts of anxious thoughts. My therapist said to me that i strive for care from others and if that does not happen i take it badly. So i tend to avoid telling people unless i know them really well.

This is why i like to come here as i know the members here do understand and that has been a great help to me.

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/2/2009 8:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Another great thread Lyn for those that are having issues with family right now :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace and Comfort!!!  Your Bro. . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
 "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!"
~Franklin D. Roosevelt~
~Click on the Ads to help HealingWell.com~
Not a medical professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle :)


Georgie Girl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 319
   Posted 1/2/2009 10:00 PM (GMT -7)   
My son understands as he is unipolar (I am bipolar).  He has never suffered the debilitating anxiety though (for which I am thankful).  My sister understands because she grew up with the same bipolar mother and alcohlic father as I did.  My sister is also unipolar but no bad anxiety either.  My husband on the other hand has only experienced situational depression - when his father died and when he himself was incarcerated for awhile for some youthful shenanigans.  He tries but he finds it hard to believe that my anxiety and depression are not things he can "fix" in some way.  Also, though he doesn't say it, I think he often thinks our son and I should just "snap out of it".   He does try to understand though.  But I think you have to have experienced depression and anxiety to truly understand. 

Georgie Girl


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/2/2009 10:27 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry to hear that GG. I am pretty lucky with my immediate family and friends for standing behind me with my anxiety. . . Unfortunately the rest of them and I no longer speak because of that kind of attitude towards my illness when I have always been there for them. I had to make this choice to protect myself from being hurt by acidic people that try to make problems instead of solving them (or at least trying:)

Anyway, at least your hubby is trying to understand, and I do believe you are right in saying that a person would have to experience this DD. . . Of course none of us would wish that upon anyone but I still am hearing you :)

I wish you and your family the best of luck!
Much Love, Hugs, Peace and Comfort!!!  Your Bro. . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
 "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!"
~Franklin D. Roosevelt~
~Click on the Ads to help HealingWell.com~
Not a medical professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle :)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/2/2009 11:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Sam, you can always talk with me and anyone else that has a question my email is always open.

I have learned I have to deal with my depression pretty much alone as when I need someone to just come be with me, there is no one.

Anxiety, I can come here and let it out.

Bless this forum

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Twistedmentality
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 164
   Posted 1/2/2009 11:05 PM (GMT -7)   
heres an odd one for ya. my girlfriend of 14 years works with children with special needs but she just dont get how iam. i asked her how she can work and understand the children and not me,her answer was that iam an adult and i cope different and i can take it.it may be true that iam an adult but thats where it all stops.

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/2/2009 11:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much Kitt. I really look up to you for you tremendous strength that you show during major adversity :) You are a rock and good friend and I know what you mean about the depression. That is why I keep my mind going all the time because my mind won't stop, lol. . . You are welcome to talk to me anytime too, cause I really enjoy it :) And that also goes for others that would like to email me :)

Twisted, don't feel bad because I'm a big kid too. I have a high sensitivity and emotional level that has been about the same since I was a child :) I don't care although, because no matter how serious life gets, a person just has to keep in touch with their inner child anyway IMO :) That being said, there are many people that will never understand because they are almost "too" serious and I think that is very sad. I got that way for quite awhile until this dd decided to start kicking harder and ever since I've been totally reversing my ways of thinking and self discovery :) I am blessed because of that. . . Doesn't make what all of us go through okay, but at least I can be a positive and productive person even during rough patches.
Much Love, Hugs, Peace and Comfort!!!  Your Bro. . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
 "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!"
~Franklin D. Roosevelt~
~Click on the Ads to help HealingWell.com~
Not a medical professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle :)

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