...HI I ( We) Have Questions and Would Appreciate Members Reading and Giving Input and Support......

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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/13/2008 7:32 PM (GMT -7)   
....The mods will make sure this thread is brought up to the top so it does not get lost
 
HERE is where you all can posts your issues and anxiety problems as well as others so that we can all give input and support.....Here as a Family
 
...This time of yr brings with it much angst........panic and even depression..........
So the threads would really be better if put into POSTS in this thread  in my opinion
 
Just a thought so that all get answered and get the support they need
 
Moderators too are suffering with the Holidays and the angst it brings'
Personally for me this is my 1ST Christmas without my Dad ......my Hero
It will be very hard but I will get thru it with my HW family
A Well as my Hubby and Daughter............
 
I WILL .......so will you......
 
......Moderators and Members..........


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/13/2008 7:36:10 PM (GMT-7)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/13/2008 7:35 PM (GMT -7)   
.......NOT all posts or threads have to go here but ones posting a few threads daily
.......... they can go here........

Appreciate your co operation.......


Mods n Members
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 12/13/2008 8:16 PM (GMT -7)   
It will be a hard Christmas this year. . . I miss my mom and brother. . . my father and stepmother won't talk to this side of my famly. . . I'm still recently recovering from being really sick, which was causing more anxiety. . . I am exhausted from shopping today, and wound up getting in an argument with my "significant" other. . . mmmmmmmmm. . . . . ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Anyway :) rofl :) My drama queen routine is over now :) I know I will make it because of all of those that care for me like my HW family :) Love you all, and thank you for listening to my rant :)

By the way, I love your ideas on the threads Lyn :) I wish you and everyone else a special Christmas that have lost a loved one, especially being so recent. . . Love you Lyn. . . Keep your chin up :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort :)
TTYL,
 
Sam
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/13/2008 8:47 PM (GMT -7)   

.....SAM

It has been a rough day or couple of days for me as well

My younger brother my fav actually was picked up and put in jail for non payment of support

Hids wages are guarentied( sp) everywhere he works and then they go take him in making him lose job and miss Christmas with the family

WHAT got me so upset as I told lil sis on phone was the fact that his so called WIFE was asked and even OFFERED gas money from us to go visit him tomorrow morning.........

Sher( SIL) just got an 800.00 plus check for Child tax credit we have here in Ontario

(I get 374.00 for Cait .........it is banked for her eduacation and her needs 

Anyways I asked her again as she did at first jump at the chance when we offered her money but now she does not WANT to go and stated that if he is in for more than 30 days she is leaving and going to Manitoba

YES.....He is wrong for NOT paying off the child support and procratinating over it but he also has 3 children of hers ( his step children) to also support and feed...........

When my bro calls me tomorrow

I have NO idea of what to do  but to tell  the truth to tell him mad   sad

I am afraid he will do something drastic ..........Last time Howie caught him just in time with a weapon........ cry in Mouth

He has supported her and the kids for over 10 yrs ....she left once and got preggars by another man and he took her back when still preggars ,,,,,I cut Dakoda's cord and we all have treated him as family.........Dakoda is asking all the time when is daddy coming home

I am so angry and hurt by what she is doing to him mad

The jail he is in has the Bandido's in it and it is Maximunm security

I am literally falling apart but I WILL not break out in sores I am too angry and will not let them come out..... nono

I also here ya on the fight with the other half we had a dosey the other day as well and he is blaming it on his sugar ( diabetic ) but I have lived with Caits dad and he did the same thing

I will not live like this again.......................It is up to him to control his food and sugar and blood levels

I am so sorry for all you have gone thru as well hun

THANKS for posting on this thread.......you are an asset to our forum............ 

Also I am so sorry about your family and those you are missing.........yes it is going to be a rough Christmas this yr IMHO......***.BTW I am not the only one that comes up with ideas for threads

Lil sis and I kick thoughts about them around in our minds and we then find a way to start a good one hoping it will help and get others involved turn LYN

LUVS Sam n (((( )))))) your friend ......LYN...........thanks for letting me vent all ......

Have NO idea what I did

But lil sis ..........if you can fix it for me .........lol ......I would appreciate it soooooooooo

Fixed  devil   



 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/16/2008 9:01:45 AM (GMT-7)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/13/2008 9:00 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm 21 years old (just turned 21) and I am losing my hair, every time I am in the shower I get nervous cause I see so much hair just draining down. I never had a lot of hair and always very thinning, I am afraid that I will go bald :( Is this caused by stress/anxiety/depression?
Also, low libido, does it have anything to do with anxiety? I am on birth control maybe that's why?

Just let me know if anyone has experienced any of these symptoms due to anxiety/stress

-Shia......

I moved your post here as I am sure you will get more answers .......and it saves alot of space

Email me if you have questions okay
 
KITT has also moved her post to you as well
LYN.......

LYN.


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/13/2008 9:23:12 PM (GMT-7)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/13/2008 9:25 PM (GMT -7)   

Shia

"The No. 1 rule of treating hair loss in women is getting the correct diagnosis -- if there is an underlying physical problem it has to be corrected first."  That can preclude the need for additional hair loss treatment.  Women are adviced to see a doctor who specializes in female pattern balding and make certain to be checked for possible underlying medical conditions via blood tests, or if need be, a scalp biopsy.

"Often the diagnosis is made by excluding what problem isn't there -- but it's still essential to do the complete workup. " Reference: Michael Reed, MD, professor, dermatology, NYU School of Medicine, New York City

The term for hair loss is alopecia.

Yes libido and anxiety may be connected.

Take care
Kitt



 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Georgie Girl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 319
   Posted 12/14/2008 8:27 AM (GMT -7)   

Shia

Regarding your hair loss -- are you on any medication in addition to birth control?   I took Depakote for two months this last spring and lost alot of hair.  It has come back now and is slightly wavy where before it was extremely straight.    Alot of medications can cause hair loss. 

Georgie Girl

 

 


Georgie Girl


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/14/2008 9:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Lyn sorry you are missing Dad so much. I will keep you in my prayers. Yesterday was the 32nd anniversary of my Daddy's passing, and I still miss him so. I am so sorry that your brother is going thru these difficult times. I pray God opens his wifes heart some and she changes her mind and does whats right.

I am suffering some right now because my Crohns has flared again and am having to take the evil Prednisone again. Oh well its a necessary evil right now. Also my oldest daughter has separated from her husband and left the kids with him because she does not have a job and is staying with friends. But since she left she has been neglecting the children and partying and such and I am very very concerned for my grandbabies hearts being broken. She is not talking to me or her dad (my husband) and I am worrying so much. I am putting this in God's hands and hoping he leads her back to her kids and being the mom God made her to be. I appreciate your prayers for her too.
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis. Currently my Crohns is in remission.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/14/2008 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Nanners,

Prayers for you  and your daughter.  I undertand how you are feeling.  Having raised 4 children I have been through some situations and felt helpless as what to do to help.

Bless you
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Pennylane905
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 12/14/2008 12:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Everyone -
First of all, I want to tell everyone who has lost close friends or loved ones, that you are all in my thoughts. My grandmother just passed in October - kind of out of the blue and I miss her very much.
I also just wanted to sort of vent about my personal situation and how the holidays can be a challenging time for me. Maybe others can relate. First of all, I LOVE the holidays, i get into the spirit, like to decorate, it's my favorite time of year. The part that stresses me out is the family part. For the most part, I have a great family that I am very thankful for. I have a step mother who has been in my life for the past 15 years. I am 26. It's quite a long story, but essentially she has many issues of her own. As a child, my dad would be travelling a lot for business leaving her and I alone. She would be very controlling and emotionally abusive. I didn't realize this until many years later when i was telling my therapist about it and she pointed out that what she was saying and doing to me was considered abuse. As I was going through this, I was scared of her - she threatened me by saying that if I told anyone else in my family about her she would make my life a living hell. So, I didn't really tell anyone. Anyway, she did eventually get help and she is now on medication for depression and anxiety. I have since gone to college and don't live at home so my problems with her have gotten better. I know that she has her own issues, but she basically becomes angry with me and accuses me of things one day and the next day she is fine. So, currently there is some issue and she sent me a curt e-mail accusing me of taking cheap shots at her and she would like to have a nice holiday, so she would appreciate it if I stopped. Well, I definitely didn't say anything bad about her either to her face or anyone else. I am angered by her e-mail but I am really trying to tell myself to ignore it. I will be spending Christmas with her and my my dad so it will just be the 3 of us. I just want to get through it without incident. I feel like I have to do all these things to appease her and to keep the peace. I know that she is dealing with her own stuff, we all are. Obviously I am on this forum because I am dealing with anxiety of my own. So, basically I am kinda stressed because I really just want to have a nice Christmas and not get into any fights with her. But at the same time I don't feel that I did anything wrong and there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. Anyway, sorry for venting on and on. It has helped me calm down a lot just by writing this post.

Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/14/2008 12:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Georgie Girl, no I'm not. It has just recently happened. I think I have to make a apt with a dermatologist to get it checked out. My doc said I'm fine it's just the "season" but it has never been this much, so I don't know what's really going on. It could be the birhcontrols, but I actually feel like I've been "hairier" body wise lol than I used to be. So I don't know.
Thanks for your responds :)


-Shia

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 12/14/2008 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Penny,
Your story sounds so similar to mine (except the part about your g-ma, I really am so sorry for that; it sounds like she was a wonderful person).

My mom is usually pretty anxious & refuses to get any treatment (we think she might be bi-polar from the highs & lows, but she also becomes very OCD, esp. at holiday time -- checking locks, making sure all the phones are charging, checking lights, garage door, etc.). I'm mostly okay with that & do try to support her, but then she just goes over the top. Inevitably, someone at work or a delivery guy or someone will tease her & she will be convinced that the whole world has turned against her. She will yell & scream -- and even uses the same expression as your mom about making my life a living hell. Then she'll go shopping & will calm down a bit until my dad comes home & sees how much money she's spent. First she cries & cries about how everybody hates her; then she just starts cleaning everything. She will even come over to my & my sibling's houses while we are away at work and start cleaning our houses. When I get home, I can't find anything b/c she's reorganized all my cabinets & drawers & everything. I tell her that it really upsets me to come home & find my house all turned upside down, but then she starts crying and saying that I wish she was dead (I don't! I've never said such a thing. I don't know where she gets this stuff.). Interestingly enough, my dad also traveled a lot on business when we were growing up (about 75% of the time), now it's less but it's still a source of tension between them.

I used to try my very hardest to make sure neither I nor my siblings did anything to upset her. As you can imagine, despite my best efforts, that never worked. There was never any telling what might set her off. This season (starting back with Thanksgiving) I resolved to change things. The stress of it all was getting to be too much for me. I now limit the time I spend with her to one meal (i.e., if I get there after breakfast, I leave before dinner or if I get there after lunch, I leave by 10pm). I also decided that in my head I will think of her like a little child who can't control their actions. I would never tell her or anyone else that I'm doing that, but it does seem to help. I just keep reminding myself that's she's not in control of her words or actions so that whatever she says or does (as long as it's not physically harmful) doesn't matter to me. I let my friends know when I'm going over there & they will call me or text me periodically to make sure I'm not getting sucked into her hurtful, condescending, threatening or negative thoughts & words. I also set the alarm on my phone to sound like a text message & will sometimes pretend that it is in order to take a break from the conversation. I also make sure that if she is going shopping that I have my own ride home b/c she will always over-buy & get into a fight when she gets home. Then she has to take stuff back & starts crying her eyes out about it. This way, I can spend time with her shopping (which she likes, though granted, prob. for the wrong reasons) but not have to be around for the arguments & tears.

Maybe you can do something similar. At the end of the day, your mom is responsible for her own happiness. She can choose to nit-pick & imagine things that aren't even true, but there's nothing you can do about that. All you can do is decide that you are not responsible for her emotions & you are definitely not responsible for carrying out all her unreasonable requests for a perfect holiday. Do what you can to make the holiday nice & don't do anything to intentionally set her off (I'm sure you wouldn't anyways) and that's all that can reasonably be expected. She's going to get mad if she wants to. That's her choice. Try not to let it ruin your holiday, too. Focus on the positive times that you have with her (however few they may be); choose to remember those & forget all the rest. And know I'll be praying for you.


peace, joy & holiday cheer,
frances

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 12/14/2008 1:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Shia, your hair loss and low libido may be from a hormone problem. Are the birth control pills new to you?
Nanners, sorry to hear about your problems! Not a good time you're going through. Did your daughter get married at a young age? I've noticed some young people get married young and then leave their families to party. I sure hope everything works out!
Lyn, sorry about your dad! My prayers will be with all of you during this holiday season. Hang in there!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/14/2008 3:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Although I am glad ppl are posting it
breaks my heart to see what you are going thru as well

Be the HERO at Christmas Pennylane
Stay true to self but still rise above and be
the hero that makes Christmas a special time for your DAD.......
Just a thought........LYN

Frances
Has your mom been seen by a neoroligist
NOT a pro here but there may quite well be some kind of demetia starting with her
It diose not always surround "Memory Loss"
I would have her checke out if it were I

MY thought and opinion.......LYN

Nanners.........I hope your CD settles down
'Yes I to have selish son and I am fed uo with selfish siblings and kids ya know
Luvs
LYN
Praying for you both and praying she will get a wake up call


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/15/2008 5:07:59 PM (GMT-7)


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 12/14/2008 4:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Lyn,
That's so sweet of you to ask. My mom refuses to go to doctors at all. We drag her once a year to the dermatologist to get checked for cancer (she had a very large cancerous mole & a couple smaller ones removed a couple years back), but she really doesn't even want to go for that appointment. She definitely will not go to see her PCP or any other sort of specialist.

I'm pretty positive it's not dementia. She's been like this my whole life. When we were little, she would be so happy for a few days, stay up all night cleaning & baking & stuff, then she would be very sad and wouldn't even want to nurse my sister, then she would get mad and would just leave us -- sometimes for a few hours, other times for a few days. My dad would be out of town, so I would have to take care of my younger siblings myself, starting at age 6 (prior to that my g-pa took care of us, but then he died b/c of doctor error & my mom blamed my g-ma for it even though it wasn't her fault so g-ma wasn't allowed to visit or take care of us anymore after that). You never knew what she was going to be like on any given day. She would just keep telling us that if we would just ... (keep our rooms cleaner, help out more around the house, not "make" her worry so much) ... then things would be better. We tried so hard. Half of the house was cordoned off b/c she didn't want it to get dirty. We would get the meter stick if we even looked like we might be thinking about setting foot in one of those rooms - except for cleaning, they still had to be cleaned every day even though they weren't ever used except once a year for my dad's Christmas party. If the dishes weren't stacked neatly or the clothes hamper wasn't shut all the way, there would be trouble. Sometimes she would yell, other times she would just cry that we were trying to kill her from all the stress. She wouldn't let us go over to other people's houses b/c they couldn't be trusted, but when they would come over to our house nobody would ever get all the rules right & she would scream at my siblings & me that we needed to be more responsible for our friends; usually after a time or two no one would want to come back.

It was really hard b/c when we would go out she could normally hide her behavior for a little while. When she was really down she wouldn't go out at all. People would say that my mom always seemed like the happiest person they knew & that she had endless energy. Mostly they thought I was making stuff up about her crying & saying she thought we wanted her dead. She would swear she never said it. Sometimes I think she may have actually believed that.

I said we think she might be bi-polar b/c she told me that before she got pregnant with me she was on Lithium. She said it's because she got stomach aches. I've checked on-line & with a psychiatrist and have been told that lithium was never prescribed for stomach aches; that it's for mania. Who knows, maybe that's what her PCP told her it was for? Either way, I wish someone could get her back on something now. My dad says she was more calm back then when she was on it. We've tried for over 20 years to get her into counseling or to see a psychiatrist -- or even just to talk to a regular doc about her symptoms. She went a couple times to a psychologist, but lied to the counselor & said nothing was wrong and that everyone else in the family were the ones who were sick. The counselor said if my mom didn't want help there was nothing that could be done. After that, she has refused to see anyone.

Now I figure I just need to let go of trying to make her happy. If she wants to get help I will support her in that, but right now I need to just focus on staying well myself. It doesn't do any good to try to go out of my way to make her happy -- she's still gonna be angry or sad or excited or anxious regardless of what I do, so I try to choose thoughts & behaviors that will make me happy. If she's also happy, that's great! If not, at least I don't feel so sick from trying to make her feel better & not succeeding. I used to get sooooo stressed trying to predict what she actually wanted (b/c it was never just what she was saying -- you know, the old "if I have to tell you, it doesn't count") and then would feel really horrible & depressed when I "failed". Now, I just set out to enjoy myself. I keep a photo album of the times when we enjoyed our time together. I try to forget all the rest. I figure life's too short to do anything else. :-)

Happy Holidays!
frances

Pennylane905
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 12/14/2008 8:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Frances-
Our stories do sound really similar. On one hand I feel so bad that you had to go through all that with your mom. But on the other hand, I feel lucky that you shared your story because for the first time, I don't feel so alone with this issue. You are absolutely right - it is her choice on if she wants to be happy or not. I know that I cannot keep getting involved in her moods and be sucked in by her meanness. It always hurts me, even though I should know to expect it. I am really going to try to just rise above it and realize that it is not my responsibility to make her happy but it is my responsibility to make myself happy, or at least keep myself sane :)
Thank you everyone for your words of support, I am so glad that I joined this forum, it has been incredibly helpful :)

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/15/2008 9:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Pennylane905
I am so very sorry you are having so many tough issues, believe me I do understand and I think you are the most loving daughter and know I am praying for you.
 
Gentle Hugs
Kitt
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/15/2008 5:09 PM (GMT -7)   
........Sending out my thoughts and prayers as well ..........

TO ALL..........

Love
BIG SIS

LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 12/15/2008 6:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hope everyone gets to feeling better :) Prayers to all :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort :)
TTYL,
 
Sam
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/16/2008 4:14 AM (GMT -7)   
.....YES Sam
So do I
DONT we ever get a break

Maybe if more posted their steps and successes it would help more out
Ya think?

Take care.....Got email returned another to you
Luvs
Lyn/sis
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/16/2008 9:15 AM (GMT -7)   
cry .....I am literally at a breaking point and I am worried about my brother
 
as well as my special lil sis
 
...He is in total denial about his wife and what she is doing.....
a 20 minute trip from her place to jial and she still doesnt go
  mad  I am so mad and hurt by what is going on with him and her non support
When he does call he all she does is COMPLAIN and who in a place like that needs to hear all that
I know I would not put up with it nono
 
She sure has been brought to the carpet ( no not ours ) on all of this but thinks of no one but herself......
 
  cry ....AS for my sweet LIl sis
....Kitt is still dealing with her sons death and also her sister in hospital with Cancer
Yet she still gives and gives
WE all have our breaking point.........
 
idea .....I have a few decisions to make prior to the New yr
Going thru a rough patch as this is First Christmas w/o dad .........
All of siblings were to be together to CELEBRATE their lives ( Mom n Dad)
.I too am still grieving over my sons death at 6 yrs old.........
 
**AS posted Moderators go thru the same as you all / some with things we dont bring to the boards as we want to help n support you all .........
God Bless and
 
LET there be a Happy Holiday for all of US..........
 
......and definitely a BETTER year in 2009
 
Luvs
LYN / sis
 
Loves
Big sis
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/16/2008 10:28 AM (GMT -7)   

My Dear Big Sis,

I know you have had an  extremely rough year and here it is the holidays and you are dealing with the the relatives and your son's problems and worrying about the grandkids.......who by the way are beautiful.

Your Lil Sis is having a good day today and perhaps the dang medication change is starting to work or this spell of anxiety is passing.

I keep my goofy fringe relatives in North Dakota but my sister is home there for Christmas and will not be back until January 5th so I am missing her and of course I want her to have the best Christmas ever.

The single best way to cope with familial turmoil is to give up the hope that your relatives will suddenly become cornucopias of emotional health....You invite inner peace when you stop trying to force yourself either to change your relatives or to think of them as sane.  smhair

You have been the wind beneath their wings for so long it is time to let them fly on their own and keep the toxic ones away from you.

Your daughter-in-law is all about her wants and addictions and until she admits it and gets help all you can do is pray and make sure the little ones gets Christmas Gifts.

I know we are much alike as we have always been care givers and we have that need to fix things but when it starts to affect our own health we must take a step back and reassess where we are headed and what is best for us.

Cait is your number one priority right now and knowing she will soon be off to college and the empty nest syndrome does exist, be selfish and spend time with her and with Howie.

You are good and kind, gentle and merciful, you work so hard to help others and your caring is genuine.  You give yourself credit for all you do and remember it is alright to think over what is best for you and then just do it, no guilt.

Big sis you have built this forum and the Alzhiemers forum.  Be proud of that but know that you cannot take on your shoulders all the troubles of each member. You can only advice them and hope each member looks upon the mods as their peers as that is what we are.

We have no special powers, we have pain and anxiety and phobias and  if we did not we never would have been drawn to this site.

So know I love you and you are always there for me.............this I know as I feel it in my heart.

I leave you with this today..............and with love.

Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world - stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death - and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas. - Henry Van Dyke


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/16/2008 10:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Skitt your post really hit home for me today. Especially when you say we have to step back from our loved ones sometimes because all it is doing is making us sick. Of course it makes us sick while they just go about their day as if its nothing. So I am going to let go of this for now, but she (my daughter) will be hearing my thoughts VERY soon. But I am not going to worry about her, cuz I done asked God to drag her thru the pits of h#ll if he has to, to bring her out of this selfish snap she is in.

And ARIES yes she did marry young, but does have 3 children now to think about, and needs to get back to being the Mom she has always been. Thats what is so sad, her husband has never really done much for the kids, she was the PTA Mom, took her kids to school, ate lunch with them, was teachers aide etc. Now she is too busy partying to be there for her kids. Its really really sad time for my grandbabies. I don't care what their parents do to eachother, I only care for my grandchildrens wellbeing.
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis. Currently my Crohns is in remission.


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/16/2008 11:09 AM (GMT -7)   
LIL sis
MAY I suggesst to you that you take your own advice too please

THank you .........You are the most special caring giving and loving person I have come to get so close with...to get thru the walls ........
YOu know my thoughts and my heart so well
I really feel we are kindred spitits
I want that to never end ...........it wont..........Love
'BIG SIS


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/16/2008 11:17:25 AM (GMT-7)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/16/2008 11:15 AM (GMT -7)   
cry  Nanners.........I was so caught up in Lil sis's post and then yours
I too am hurting with wondering if the GB will get presents
DIL spends money for recreational ......you know
 
It doesnt look god
If I could I would have them in a New York minute
But with all the issues with health I know I just cannot do it
 
Kassidy was on puter last night
I asked where her mom wa she said sick Nana
She has no medicine
WHAT is this kind of thing my GD is being taught at 7 yrs old.......
Literally made me ball my eyes out cry
I have kept convo
AS Kass says in it
".I love and miss you so muc Nana smilewinkgrin  laugh n cry situation          cry
wish I could be there with you and Poppa Howie and aunty Cait
She is growing up to fast IMHO
Heartbreaking for sure
I do feel your pain..........Luvs
LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

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