the feeling never really goes away

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

summer_girliexo
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 12/15/2008 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   
hey i'm new to here and i'm just hoping for a place where i can go that people understand how i feel everyday. i'm 20 years old and i just feel like no one in my life gets how i feel, they all say they do but they just don't. i never stop worrying or thinking about everything/everyone to the point where i drive myself nuts. my mom says to just get control of it, but she doesn't get it, if i could i would. i have this really great best friend/ex i don't know what id do without him, but sometimes i don't know how he puts up with me, if he doesnt answer a text half the time i freaking out and right away i think i did something wrong or hes mad at me, for no reason, i hate it. i hate that he has to reassure me all the time, for me to feel good. i just don't know. if he doesn't answer`a text or something i right away get this urge that i HAVE to text him again that second, anyone else its whatever but him, it gets to me. he tells me to relax but thats it i wish i could. i'm just so sick of making an ass out of myself and feeling this way. does anyone have any advice?

Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 12/15/2008 9:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I have the same problem with the whole reassurance thing.... I'm always looking for someone's approval or asking to be reassured because I feel bad.... and I have a really guilty conscience...

The only thing I can say is... when you start feeling bad, try to distract yourself... Play some games, watch TV/movie, write.... Do whatever to take your mind off of yourself and other people until you feel better...
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/15/2008 10:59 PM (GMT -7)   

summer_girliexo

Welcome to HealingWell.  This is where we share our concerns and issues and then help each other work on ways to resolve our problems.

Our minds crave explanations for why we are anxious. We have a strong drive to explain feelings of anxiety. I remember once taking an aspirin, and later feeling very anxious. I made an assumption about what caused my feelings. I didn't try; my mind naturally and automatically came up with a reason why I felt anxious. The anxiety is like a puppy with new teeth that needs something to chew on. The mind searches around to find the most likely thing, the most blatant worry, and latches onto that and starts ruminating about it.

I had been talking to someone about a tense situation, and I assumed our conversation was causing my anxiety.

I found out later the aspirin contained caffeine and the anxiety was artificially-induced. Many times I've solved one problem after another, only to have my mind search around for another worry.

Many times I've solved one problem after another, only to have my mind search around for another worry.Remind yourself your mind automatically tries to explain feelings of anxiety.

Try to practice ways not to be worrying about why your anxious and remember you are a good person and you do not have to explain your issues to others.

You do have to learn to deal with the anxiety. The members will share with your their advice and please do hear them out.

Take care and stick with us.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


summer_girliexo
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 12/16/2008 12:28 AM (GMT -7)   
i really did it this time...he's never going to talk to me again........i feel like such a bad person, i don't even know what to do right now...

Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 12/16/2008 12:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi- maybe give him a little time and space? just a thought XX

            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


summer_girliexo
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 12/16/2008 12:45 AM (GMT -7)   
i'm trying to but its just so hard to. i can't sit still, my minds going 1000 times a minute, i don't/can't relax.

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 12/16/2008 12:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello summer_girliexo :)

It's nice to meet you. Welcome to the Anxiety and Panic Forum. You will find great people and resources for your recovery here :)

I wish you the best of luck with your friend. Maybe you should sit down and have a rational talk with him about both of your expectations about your relationship as friends. Then you can hear what you need to hear, and won't have an excuse to get upset anymore because you will know where things stand :) You can not have an effective relationship without honest/mutual communication :)

Take care!
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort :)
TTYL,
 
Sam
 
 


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 12/16/2008 3:02 AM (GMT -7)   
p.s please dont think im being nosy, but are your feelings for this guy truly platonic? is he nothing more than a best friend? or do you have feelings for him and maybe are afraid to go there? because i can see how that might complicate a friendship- i hope that he is a decent enough guy to understand that you are struggling right now and that you are doing your best-
you have totally come to the right place- im 28 and my illness has absolutely compromised certain friendships/relationships at times. i can look back and see that now, but i couldnt at the time.
you WILL get through this. Keep us posted :-)
Maz XX
            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/16/2008 3:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to HW
Since you have already been given great input from the family  I
I want to welcome you and tell you
YOU are NOT a bad person nono

WE all seem to crave Validation in our lives or actually need it I feel anyways ..........
Yes as was said
I believe it is all part of the a/p
I would also like to know the answer to poster ( maz) above

STay with us
wink
LYN


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/16/2008 3:38:24 AM (GMT-7)


YaGirlC
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 12/16/2008 8:04 AM (GMT -7)   
You sound much like me in that, I seem to search for reassurance and validation for nearly every aspect of my life. I question mostly everything. I do not have enough confidence in myself, therefore I look for others to boost me up (though, temporarily).

I need to be reassured nearly every day that I am not having a heart attack, or that I am not dying, etc. etc. etc. Yesterday, I had called three different people, because I was numb from a novacaine shot from the dentist's office, and I was almost positive that something had went wrong. I needed to hear over and over again that I was not going to die, that everything was going to be ok.

It is hard to need this kind of everyday-reassurance/validation. Whenever I try to rationalize something, I always have to run it by at least a few people, to make sure that I was making a sound choice/decision/conclusion. It's terrible.

I also suffer from an immense and overwhelming sense of guilt. I know what you mean when you say that you feel you are a 'bad person.' I believe it is because we have no sense of self-worth or respect. When we learn to love ourselves, we will no longer need to feel guilty of things we cannot control, or have the NEED for validation and reassurance from others. We will be able to find that within ourselves.

When someone is mad at me, I am also one to be very impulsive and keep 'pushing' them, which usually results in them being even angrier with me than from the start of the arguement. Try your hardest to give him a chance to cool down. I know it is hard, believe me. Try to distract yourself. Within a day or two, give him a call/text, explaining your condition and how you feel. Tell him that you do not mean to burden him with your disorder, but that right now you are just wanting some support. If he is a true friend, he will try his best to understand, or at the very least, sympathize, with your feelings.
Cece, 24
 
Mommy to 4 kids, ages 5 and under.  Yep, I'm crazy.  In more than one way!


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/16/2008 8:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Summer I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time right now. I would like to ask if you have a therapist or are on any type of medication. I really think you need to get with a doctor and get on some type of medication to help calm your anxiety.

Good luck,
Gail *Nanners*
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis. Currently my Crohns is in remission.


summer_girliexo
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 12/16/2008 11:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Mazfire said...
p.s please dont think im being nosy, but are your feelings for this guy truly platonic? is he nothing more than a best friend? or do you have feelings for him and maybe are afraid to go there? because i can see how that might complicate a friendship- i hope that he is a decent enough guy to understand that you are struggling right now and that you are doing your best-
you have totally come to the right place- im 28 and my illness has absolutely compromised certain friendships/relationships at times. i can look back and see that now, but i couldnt at the time.
you WILL get through this. Keep us posted :-)
Maz XX

yes, i definitely have feelings for him more then just friends. He's actually my ex boyfriend, we were together for just about 2 years and broke up over a year ago. We've had our ups and downs but we've always remained best friends. He knows I love him and I know he loves me, but right now being together just isn't right for either of us. I think thats why it effects me differently then with anyone else. Lately things have just gotten worse I've been under so much stress lately, I graduate from college in a week, which means finals. I'm trying to find a job and figure out what I want to do with my life. Then plus family issues and everything with him. In the last week i feel like I've taken it all out of him, not on purpose though. I've freaked out on him like 3 times this week and this time i just went overboard and he won't talk to me at all.

summer_girliexo
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 12/16/2008 11:10 AM (GMT -7)   
YaGirlC said...
You sound much like me in that, I seem to search for reassurance and validation for nearly every aspect of my life. I question mostly everything. I do not have enough confidence in myself, therefore I look for others to boost me up (though, temporarily).

I need to be reassured nearly every day that I am not having a heart attack, or that I am not dying, etc. etc. etc. Yesterday, I had called three different people, because I was numb from a novacaine shot from the dentist's office, and I was almost positive that something had went wrong. I needed to hear over and over again that I was not going to die, that everything was going to be ok.

It is hard to need this kind of everyday-reassurance/validation. Whenever I try to rationalize something, I always have to run it by at least a few people, to make sure that I was making a sound choice/decision/conclusion. It's terrible.

I also suffer from an immense and overwhelming sense of guilt. I know what you mean when you say that you feel you are a 'bad person.' I believe it is because we have no sense of self-worth or respect. When we learn to love ourselves, we will no longer need to feel guilty of things we cannot control, or have the NEED for validation and reassurance from others. We will be able to find that within ourselves.

When someone is mad at me, I am also one to be very impulsive and keep 'pushing' them, which usually results in them being even angrier with me than from the start of the arguement. Try your hardest to give him a chance to cool down. I know it is hard, believe me. Try to distract yourself. Within a day or two, give him a call/text, explaining your condition and how you feel. Tell him that you do not mean to burden him with your disorder, but that right now you are just wanting some support. If he is a true friend, he will try his best to understand, or at the very least, sympathize, with your feelings.

thats exactly how i am. i try to convince myself over and over again that nothings wrong, but its like its not good enough until i hear it from someone else. about a month ago, I made my mom bring me to the ER, bcos i felt like my heart was beating out of my chest, they ran every test and I was fine, I heard it straight out of the doctors mouth, yet still when i got home i asked my mom if i was okay and wasn't going to die. I stress about everyone around me, my brother is 17, and a football player, everytime he gets hurt or isn't home when he's suppose to be i completely stress out, my mom doesn't even freak like that and she's his mom, but its like i can't even relax until, i know hes fine. i get into these modes where i can't even think straight.

summer_girliexo
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 12/16/2008 11:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Nanners said...
Summer I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time right now. I would like to ask if you have a therapist or are on any type of medication. I really think you need to get with a doctor and get on some type of medication to help calm your anxiety.

Good luck,
Gail *Nanners*

I agree. No, I haven't gone to a therapist or on medication yet. But after last night I plan on making a doctors appointment right away. 

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 12/16/2008 12:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Summer....I believe it's a good idea to take one thing at a time. You mentioned that you're graduating from college in a week (congrats, by the way!). Just concentrate on finals and not in finding a job yet. All you can do is your best. Always remember that. You need to learn some relaxation techniques. Practice them at least 2 times a day. I'm currently reading another book on anxiety, and the author said that people who always need acceptance or approval didn't have their needs met as children. That's true for me. Make sure you are taking time for yourself. Practice relaxation. Begin seeing a therapist. Go easy on yourself! Also, give your ex-boyfriend a break from all of it. He may have his own issues and is frustrated. Let us know how you're doing!

summer_girliexo
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 12/17/2008 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks :), thats actually what i'm trying to do, I handed in my last paper a little bit ago and i just feel so much better. Also me and him talked yesterday and i think he gets and understands it all somewhat better now. He really is a true best friend for putting up with me, I'm so lucky to have him in my life. Todays just a really good day so far :) 

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 12/17/2008 11:46 AM (GMT -7)   
People with anxiety should always try to concentrate on doing one task at a time. Otherwise we get overwhelmed and the anxiety begins. It's a difficult habit to break. Congrats on handing in your last paper! I got my AA degree in 2006 and am going on to become a psychologist. I've spoken to the University of Phoenix and I can finish my degree in 16 to 18 months. It's kind of scary thinking I may succeed. I don't know why. I guess I'm used to things not going so well. I wish you the best of luck, Summer!

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 12/17/2008 11:52 AM (GMT -7)   
People with anxiety should always try to concentrate on doing one task at a time. Otherwise we get overwhelmed and the anxiety begins. It's a difficult habit to break. Congrats on handing in your last paper! I got my AA degree in 2006 and am going on to become a psychologist. I've spoken to the University of Phoenix and I can finish my degree in 16 to 18 months. It's kind of scary thinking I may succeed. I don't know why. I guess I'm used to things not going so well. I wish you the best of luck, Summer!
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 10, 2016 11:15 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,736,222 posts in 301,362 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151452 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, sarajseri.
216 Guest(s), 4 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
bluelyme, geop, Girlie, jrpsf


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer