Anxious and sad about sister's chemo

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eugenia
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 12/17/2008 12:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Tomorrow I am taking my sister to her second chemo treatment (of six).  She is quite emotional over going as she is feeling ok now and knows that she has to look forward to 10 days of feeling horrible.  I feel quite anxious about taking her as I suffer frrom major health anxiety, general anxiety and depression myself.  I'm trying and be strong for her and I would never let her see that I'm scared inside for her (and for me ...if that makes any sense).  I just keep thinking of the what if's.  I try and shut them out and think positive but sometimes those what ifs take over (or I let them).
 
Anyway,  sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions of being happy.  Like today we are having a holiday fundraiser @ work and I just feel blah bc tomorrow I know my sister has her chemo.  It's almost like I feel guilty because I'm able to enjoy myself and my sister cannot at this time.  I also worry about what the future holds.
 
If anyone has any advice whatsoever it would be much appreciated.  
 
Thank-you to all those that reply
 
Eugenia

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 12/17/2008 1:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, Eugenia! You and your sister need to stay positive! My mother has had cancer twice. Once it was breast cancer and the other was cancer of the uterus. I was never worried because I knew she would pull through. I'm sure you've heard, "cancer no longer means a death sentence." If our minds can make us sick, then I wholeheartedly believe that our minds can make us better. Maybe she can be given meds for any side effects that may occur. Please, think positively. Don't worry! This is a difficult time but your sister will be okay....

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/17/2008 1:26 PM (GMT -7)   
....Eugenia
'My daughter and a couple of ppl
and a special Lady on here
AS well as all the support I got from members........
Helped me to know I had to give it  a chance again to see i I could do it w/o surgury

Unfortunately I could not tolerate the chemo and it was not doing me any good or at least what they though it would do

I have had to have lower lobe on left lung ( good size Chunk) removed and I am still here
Daughter had to watch me being sick for so long she is anxious and panicky as well
BUT in order for me not to feel like I was putting her in a position she put on the mask as you do

Problem here was th fact I can and still do read her like a book
She is one of the best caring young women I have come to know

IT did hurt her to see me sick as I was and I am positive your sister knows deep down inside what is going on with you
Be honest wih her
make alot of fun things and make many wonderful memories

** I am sure Kitt ( Lil sis ) will post to this as I know her sister is in a place that treats cancer ( patients) survivors and such**
THIS is very close to my heart and to hers I KNOW
**I am sure you will get other posts soon
PPL are great here with luv support caring and emapthy

Keep posting on this thread to let us know how sis is ........

God Bless
LYN.

** sorry had to fix my spelling been up since about 3am his morn........**


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
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                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/17/2008 1:56:19 PM (GMT-7)


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 12/17/2008 1:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Eugenia,

Health anxiety is awful, and sometimes all you can do to beat it down is take those baby steps. Your sister and you are going through a hard time, and it's natural to feel very frightened. Try not to look ahead to the future and all those scary "what ifs." Thinking about the possible positive outcomes is not the same as ignoring the possible negatives, but I think sometimes we convince ourselves that we have to be prepared for the "worst." For me, that makes me dwell much more on the worst-case scenario than is good for me or the folks around me.

I'm glad other folks are able to share genuine instances of people recovering from very serious illnesses. There is real hope!

percycat

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 12/17/2008 2:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Eugenia,

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear what you and your sis are going through right now. I've had many family members go through cancer as well, and thanks to God they have all done well. I wish the same for your sister. You all are in my prayers :)

Take care of yourself now. It is important you keep your health good also :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort :)
TTYL,
 
Sam
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/18/2008 6:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Eugenia,
 
This is Kitt and I am with you on this one..........my sister was flown from North Dakota on 8/13/2008 and directly admitted to the U of MN Hospital's OB/GYN oncology unit.
Her PCA 125 test was 22,000............yes I did say 22,000. She has ovarian cancer and she was in so much pain and so ill by that night she was on a respirator.
 
After many , many tests and teams working with her she has completed her series of 7 chemos and her PCA 125 is down to 35. Although she spent much time in the hospital she is doing so much better she lives at the Cancer society Hope Lodge. Her daughter and I are her care givers so she has never spent one single night alone.
 
She reacted to many of the meds but they fine tuned her chemo to run over 24 hours, very slowly and she has been pretreated with meds to avoid the nausea etc.  She also has to have a unit of blood plus some platelets so don't let those things scare you. It is common for cancer patients.  They would take my sis  to Interventional Radiology and we would go along.  She has a nephrostomy tube in her right kidney as there is blockage around her ureter.
 
Her hair fell out so we snuck in a beautician to shave her whole head.  I rub her bald head for luck. We laugh and tease and we discuss every aspect of her case.
 
We have had care conferences with her Doctors and we have asked for the best case scenarios verses the not so good outcomes.
 
My sister has such a will to live that I do believe she will make it.
 
We drag her out in the car to look at Christms lights etc. We go to nice restaurants and even when she says something looks good but she is not sure she can eat much of it..........we say just order it, we won't make you clean your plate.
 
She did have a down time when she wore only a hat on her bald head so my daughter, my niece and I took her wig shopping. We had so much fun making her try on all the wigs.............but she found one she really liked and  did not have the money right then.  My wonderful daughter and I bought it for her so she could go home for Thanksgiving with hair.  She cried her eyes out as she felt human again.
 
When she first came to MN I thought we had a matter of weeks and here we are looking at surgery  the first part of January.
 
Just be you but keep in perspective that this is your sister's life right now and find ways to keep her spirits up. Now is the time to share memories, make new memories and give to her what she needs to get through this, love.
 
And give yourself  permission to cry, it helps and you feel better once the tears are out.
 
I have cried on my sister's shoulder and she told me if I did not cry she would wonder if I loved her  lol.  smhair  
 
Do ask the Doctor to premedicate your sister and hopefully she won't feel so bad.  I have met many people at the Hope Lodge that are saying the meds now being used preprocedure are wonderful.
 
You will make it and your sister will too.  Email me anytime..............I find when the cards are on the table I can be extremely strong.
 
Gentle Hugs
Kitt



 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
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It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Post Edited (stkitt) : 12/18/2008 6:53:21 PM (GMT-7)


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 12/18/2008 7:00 PM (GMT -7)   
I just read this thread again. . . Eugenia, Kitt and Lyn :). . . You both are such strong women that I hope you are proud of that :)

Plus you made me cry. . . Been a little emotional about family today.

I hope your sisters the best of healing and recovery. May you all have many more years of joy and good memories :)


Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort :)
Your bro,
 
Sam
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/18/2008 9:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks Sam,

I come from a family with a long history of cancer but not heart problems...........well maybe a broken one once in awhile.  redface

My husband had prostate cancer and I had skin cancer so the big C doesn't scare us as much as makes us mad and fighters.

Facing it head on and doing what you have to do is our way of dealing with it.

You are so kind, take care and hope you are not in the storm areas headed this way for the next couple of days.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 12/18/2008 10:30 PM (GMT -7)   

Im saying a prayer for all those at HW affected by Cancer- it is vicious and unfair and it doesnt discriminate. No one deserves to hurt that way. My patients used to amaze me with the strength they displayed in the face of adversity.

Love, peace, blessings, calm- these things i pray

Maz XX 


            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


Shia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/18/2008 11:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Eugenia
I think you're amazingly strong for going through this with your sister, especially for someone who has health anxiety. You are strong!
I am proud of you :)

eugenia
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 12/19/2008 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi and thank-you to eveyone who responded to my thread.  All your words inspired me and helped me get through my sister's chemo treatment.  It was truly an inspiring day....not only did my sister handle it fairly well but the people receiving treatment in her room were so very positive ...one man even saying that he'll miss coming to the cancer ward as he has been taken so good care of and has 7 doctors fussing over him!!!  I was truly amazed...scared still but amazed.  I really want to get the point where my health anxiety doesn't bring up my fears.  I want to be strong and take what's ever given to me with some fight....not give into the anxiety.  All your posts and the people I met yesterday were truly encouraging.

Thank-you it is nice to know that someone out there understands and cares.

Eugenia

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