As you clearly stated at the beginning that you dont want advice on 'tough love' or 'toxic friendships' all i can say is i hope that this situation resolves itself in a way that satasfies you. Maybe there has been a breakdown of communication. I will say no more as you made it perfectly clear that you dont want the advice that most people will want to offer you. But you are writing on a peer support forum, and im not sure how to help you if you dont want practical, logical advice- all the best.
take care, Maz XX
Post Edited (Mazfire) : 12/26/2008 1:43:18 AM (GMT-7)
I have a lot I could say but it is Christmas Day so I will grant you your wish and just leave you with I hope your have a pleasant day.
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
I am sorry that I offered the tough love, but that sounds like the only solution right now, I can see that you do care about her.
I think you got some fair answers. to why you did not want anyone to give you any helpful advice? Whatever advice is given by the members is their opinions of how you can overcome the situation that caused you so much stress. Just because it is given never means you have to take it.......................
There is a reason why I stated that I don't want advice on "tough love" or toxic People.The next time she asks for Money (there will be a next time),I'm going to be very firm and tell her no.In fact am considering calling her and asking that she come over.Once here will ask her straight what she's doing with the Money.Before she can get help for her addiction,she must admit she has a problem.
It will greatly help me to tell her I won't enable her problem if she would admit she has one..
Is this your sister friend we are talking about ?
I have a post right above yours, any thoughts??
Sydnee, i meant you no harm, was simply trying to be helpful. Was trying to answer your question within the parameters you set.
My System (new PC) was down from Morning of Christmas Day until after Midnight,so haven't had chance to reply all responses..I also washed Dishes,scrubbed Pots/Pans,washing/drying Clothes and received a Call..
I appreciate your input..if I sounded defensive,I didn't mean it to come out that way.
If my Friend needed Food,Money for Gas (Petrol) or if the Electric or Gas Companies were threatening to cut their services and I had Money and could help,I would,but giving her Money to throw away is something entirely different.I have a kind Heart and a generous nature,but I hate to be used,taken advantage of,lied to,played for a fool or have People steal from me..I will yank someone's chain for such!
She knows the struggles I've endured for a very long time.It has taken almost 2 Years for my late Father's final affairs to settle and they still aren't.I have lived on a very limited Social Security Disability income (worked and paid into SSA) and believe you me it isn't enough to pay bills,buy Food and necessites.When I tell her I have Bills,a Life Insurance premium to pay,Food to buy,items needed for my Home/self,it goes in one Ear and out the other.She doesn't care!I differentiate between needs and wants and never throw Money away.She is also aware I need my Eyes checked so I can buy a new pair of Glasses and Toric Contact Lenses.I'm really surprised I haven't had excruciating Eyestrain Headaches because I squint to bring things into focus.I also need a Dental exam and minor Dental procedures (one procedure being a Root Canal that I've needed almost 10 Years,but didn't have Money when my Dentist first told me I needed it..Root Canals cost $1,000 if not more).I need new Mattresses for my Bed,a new Computer Desk and other items for my Home.I don't even have a Car and can't buy a Car until I sell another Property.It irritates me that she doesn't have direction,want to or desire to change her circumstances.Her Husband busts his B*tt to provide for she and their Daughter then this is what he gets in return.She started a Job,but got fed up with the attitudes whilst training for the Job,so they moved her to another location closer to Home and she already quit that Job.Here I am busting my chops to get Legal and business matters settled so I can move out of State in order to start anew and return to University to complete my Education so in the long run will have a means to support and provide for myself.Some People are uncaring and ungrateful and she happens to be one of them!
Post Edited (Sydnee10) : 12/27/2008 2:34:43 AM (GMT-7)
I received a lot of wonderful advice and asked that no one give ME tough love or tell me I need to rid toxic People from my life due to that little incident couple Month's ago with another member..remember?
Oh no you didn't offend..if someone crosses me,I would let them know..
Failed to mention in original thread..Friend was over one Day recently and asked if she could be my Provider.Ya'll it SERIOUSLY OFFENDED me!Though I have a Disability,I do my own personal Hygiene,Housework,Washing,take Trash out and get Mail..there are very few things I can't do like climbing a step ladder/ladder or standing in a Chair to wash upper Walls or hanging Curtains,but other than these 2 things my House is spic and span clean..I don't have a Car and have to rely on others to take me places,which tremendously troubles me coz I'm independent and prideful.I didn't know until Day before Yesterday when I called my Friends SIL the second time about she borrowing Money that my Friend was paid to care for her Mother during her illness.SIL didn't mention if Family or Insurance paid..
Send your sister friend to me and I will let her wash the whole dang house and knock herself out. I understand what you are referring back to.
My note last night was when you were on line and I was feeling really down as I am trying to wean off Cymbalta and as many know it is no fun and I am bouncing around like a ping pong ball. . I was just looking for someone to support me.
No big deal.
She'd ask for Money well,Woman why didn't you say you were weaning off Cymbalta?Syd ain't no mind reader! I hear that's a powerful Medication!A Friend experienced Dizziness/Lightheadedness/double vision when starting Cymbalta.I hope you aren't having through withdrawals or experiencing the above..
Take good care and I wish you all the best
Sydnee when you say provider, does that mean like a carer?
Yes,a Provider in States is what ya'll in Australia and England call carer..it greatly insulted me!