Hi, nice thread Maz,
I find my work (mostly) keeps my mind off A/P and puts me in contact with my local community. Of course I have my bad days where I end up crying in the back room or bashing my head against the computer. I think A/P does make me more susceptible to having "melt-downs" and it certainly drains my confidence..but I would much prefer to work than to be unemployed and feeling worthless (which I wouldn't be - but guilt and me are close friends!)
Aries, what do you feel holds you back from being "successful"? I find just having a job is a pretty amazing achievement for A/P people. Please give yourself credit for pushing forward despite the fear! You are tough, so all kudos to you.
Well I am starting my second carreer with a lot less stress, and I do not have to manage anyone else so I am hoping I will see a huge difference between the 2 positions. Also short hours......... but a litle extra income which we need right now.
When I worked full time.........yes my A & P affected my performance. I am proud of the job I did do for 26 years through the A & P and all.
Post Edited (Green Grove) : 1/8/2009 3:23:18 AM (GMT-7)
Anxiety 2007; IBS 2004; Chronic Hives 2002. Medications: Allegra, Zantac, Xanax, Darvocet.
Post Edited (Georgie Girl) : 1/8/2009 4:11:27 PM (GMT-7)
I tend to get angry and stew over stuff and then walk off and cry somewhere. I have tried talking to my boss in a professional and calm manner about how she speaks to me (the tone of her voice) and for a couple days things get better and she is sickeningly sweet and then it goes bad again. I am an honest and hard worker and do my best at any task I do and up until this boss I have NEVER had a boss treat me in the manner this one does or talk down to me the way she does. I feel a lot of her tone is her fear and emotional issues in her own life and she has no control over that so she has to try to sound more controlling and authoritative at work and it comes out at me. I am not in her shoes as far as her personal life and the things she is dealing with but am sympathetic to what she is experiencing and have tried with all I have to be attentive when she is sad and such but a person can only take so much and I am at my breaking point here and there is no more I can say to her. I've tried the "kill her with kindness" and "staying under the radar as much as possible" and professionalism to the point where people were wondering what was wrong with me because I put myself away and spoke only when spoken to and answered in a very professional manner. I lost ME along the way and although I am a professional, I have to be ME and if that is not good enough for my boss than so be it. I am not going to let her bad mood take away who I am. I do get angry with her and the things she says but am trying my best to practice letting go and moving on and past and forgetting what happened. It will just eat me up inside if I hold onto it all like I used to. Well, again this turned into a mini therapy session for myself by myself.
Thanks for listening Aries. What do you do for a living where you have a job where you can work from home or office? I'd love having the "out" as you call it. I want to conquer this anxiety but having an "out" is not such a bad thing is it?