Trying to relax

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KiwiKaz
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 1/9/2009 6:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey all,
 
Does anyone find the more they try to relax the more anxious they get?  I am finding this is a major problem for me at the moment leaving me feeling pretty overwhelmed and want to find a way out of this vicious cycle.
 
Thanks!

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/9/2009 7:01 PM (GMT -7)   

Kaz,

I think you are trying to herd..just be in the moment and keep you mind on what is happening right now.  Let go of the worries and do something you enjoy doing.

Take care

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

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Green Grove
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/9/2009 7:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt is right :) You have to keep practicing and stay in the moment. Might want to mention this to your pdoc!

Good luck!
Take care and have a wonderful day! . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
  "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
~Franklin D. Roosevelt~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


KiwiKaz
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 1/9/2009 7:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks guys, I think this has just come out a bit more because I have been doing some desensitisation activites regarding my blood pressure phobia given to me by a CBT therapist I saw a couple of years ago. I will focus on the moment ;-)

gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/9/2009 10:33 PM (GMT -7)   
The same thing to me everyday.... that is why i started drinking....bad move!  I am 3 days sober and I have to now look into myself with the help of a shrink as to what is the core issue!  I have to stop myself in the moment of anxiety and find just one positive funny thing to change my thought process....It could be as little as someone getting attacked by a magpie or watching other people and the way they react with eachother...flirting, or falling in love in the street....Silly things to break the horrible panic atttack i am having...You have to be concious and in the moment not yesterday or even tomorrow.....In the end everything turns out ok...in the end!!!!  Hang in there, I am!   gillxx

percycat
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Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 1/10/2009 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Kaz,

I get the "backwards relaxation" thing going on sometimes, but it's so sneaky, it's hard to notice until I'm really tangled up. If it's negative thinking that sneaks in and distracts you, try consciously following up or replacing each negative thought with a positive one. For example, "Wow, I'm trying to relax, and it's just making me feel more anxious!" gets followed by "Yes, I'm trying to relax, and that's a good step for me. I used to not be able to practice it much at all, so I'm improving" (or whatever you can think that's a positive rather than a negative).

Focussing on being in the moment, especially the way Gill describes is a good distraction too. Sometimes, that helps me nip an anxiety attack right from the start.


And, Gill, congratulations on 3 days! You go! That is just such a huge step, taking one baby step at a time!

percycat

Percy/Percycat

Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum


gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/10/2009 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Percy...It means alot to me to hear I am doing well. I am committed in doing so! gillxx
       My Struggles!
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- All along a drug induce psycosis- Nothing more..
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Green Grove
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/10/2009 9:59 PM (GMT -7)   
That is good Kaz. . . Once you learn the trick it helps so much :) "Practice Makes Perfect!"

And Gilly you should be so proud of yourself!!! Congrats to you and sobriety (which is great by the way:)
Take care and have a wonderful day! . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
  "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
~Franklin D. Roosevelt~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


petrified
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 1/11/2009 7:16 AM (GMT -7)   
hi when you relax go somewhere quiet.play soft music and deep breathe for ex.inhale through your nose for 2 seconds 1 100 2 100,then exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds,continue for about one minute and give your self positive thoughts i am calm i am safe i am happy you'll feel great

SleepyBug
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 1/11/2009 7:21 AM (GMT -7)   
kaz,

i've definitely found that sometimes when i intentionally try to relax, i get more anxious. so i've realized that i have to trick myself into relaxing-music, movies, a good book-things that soothe me but yet distract me all help a lot.

also, i took a stress management class recently and in the class i learned a technique called guided imagery where you close your eyes and imagine yourself in the most beautiful, peaceful setting you can think of. i found that if i really focused on imagining the sights, smells, and feel of the things around me in this peaceful setting, it really relaxed me because my mind (that part of me that might become anxious or panicked) was focused on something. just sitting still and trying to force myself to be calm really doesn't work for me.
love and hugs
~danielle

this being human is a guest house.
every morning a new arrival-a joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awarenewss comes as an unexpected visitor.
welcome and entertain them all!
even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably
he may be clearing you out for some new delight.
~rumi


KiwiKaz
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 1/11/2009 1:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Nikki,

Wow, that sleeping one sounds really familiar!!!  I've been like that the past few days.  I've just made an appointment to see my doctor today and tell him how I'm feeling and will see if I can get referred to a therapist, time to face this head on and learn to manage this!!  It's weird I can be so laidback and happy most of the time and then suddenly bam the anxiety comes back, think that's the major frustrating part.  I get so fixated on my racing heart.  And then of course I get all worried I am doing myself damage from my blood pressure raising when I'm anxious, bit of a vicious cycle especially when I know my blood pressure is normal usually and all my medical tests last year came back fine.  Want to be here for many, many years with my beautiful little girl!

Thanks Danielle for that guided imagery idea, will start trying to get myself focusing on beautiful tropical beaches!

I'm so glad to have found this forum, it's nice to have people who understand wink


KiwiKaz
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 1/11/2009 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Nikki,

Wow, you are so great and reassuring! It is nice to have someone who completely understands what I am going through, although I don't wish this on anyone! When I am anxious I can get my bp up to 180/120 whereas when relaxed it is 120-130/70-80. I've actually had my fear over having my BP taken for many years thanks to a very old school doctor not believing me that I was nervous, he even got low readings on a 24 hour monitor when I was sleeping but he still didn't believe me and diagnosed me with hypertension and went on about how bad it was, my bp didn't get anywhere near as high as it does now when anxious, imagine what he would say! Lucky he retired and I found a new doctor. After getting sick when pregnant with my daughter and having her prematurely I got even more petrified of having my bp taken and it's all sort of snowballed. I am determined to get through this, after all I love my life so much and don't want to feel so overwhelmed and scared of all this. Like you used to be I am scared my heart will just give out on me. And when I am not anxious my heart rate tends to be about 65-70 not the 130 odd it runs at when anxious. Sometimes I go for days on end feeling anxious and that's when I get petrified that my body will just give out. Argh, anxiety, it's not a nice one but I know that I need to work through this, don't want this overwhelming me! My poor hubby kept getting woken up last night because I couldn't sleep and he's such a calm, rational man but I found it hard to believe the rational things he was saying.

Thank you so much for your support, words can't even explain how grateful I am!

Karen xo

bigcc_1976
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 1/11/2009 11:08 PM (GMT -7)   
I have also been where you are at right now. I used to be very active participating in competitive sports and working out. After my first PA I began thinking that I had a heart issue that the doctors where missing. I actually made my self believe that there was something wrong with my heart. I completely stopped working out and playing my sports because I was afraid to raise my heat rate. I gained close to 30 pounds. This went on for about two years. I now still have set backs and fear once in a while, but nothing like I used to have. I have begun to work out again, albeit not as intensly as I used to, but that is because I am way out of shape not because of my fear of raising my heart rate.

You can do it. The first step is believing your doctors. They are educated to know our bodies and what is wrong with us. If your dr says you are fine and still want to get another opinion that is fine, but when both dr say that you are fine, don't do what I did which was tell myself they don't know what they are doing. Believe them and continually reassure yourself that you are fine and it is JUST anxiety.

I was there, I am much better. You will also get better.
CC

Post Edited (bigcc_1976) : 1/11/2009 11:11:20 PM (GMT-7)


KiwiKaz
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 1/12/2009 1:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi CC,

Thanks so much for your reply, I actually went to the doctor yesterday and he was so assuring, I used to be so scared of him now I actually respect him so that's a start! He told me he knows my baseline BP is normal and he's happy with me! He's referred me to a phobic clinic so that will be good to help out with this.

Thanks Nikki, will definitely keep in touch, will email soon xo

P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 1/12/2009 3:14 PM (GMT -7)   
bigcc_1976 said...
I have also been where you are at right now. I used to be very active participating in competitive sports and working out. After my first PA I began thinking that I had a heart issue that the doctors where missing. I actually made my self believe that there was something wrong with my heart. I completely stopped working out and playing my sports because I was afraid to raise my heat rate. I gained close to 30 pounds. This went on for about two years. I now still have set backs and fear once in a while, but nothing like I used to have. I have begun to work out again, albeit not as intensly as I used to, but that is because I am way out of shape not because of my fear of raising my heart rate.

You can do it. The first step is believing your doctors. They are educated to know our bodies and what is wrong with us. If your dr says you are fine and still want to get another opinion that is fine, but when both dr say that you are fine, don't do what I did which was tell myself they don't know what they are doing. Believe them and continually reassure yourself that you are fine and it is JUST anxiety.

I was there, I am much better. You will also get better.
CC
WOW...Our stories are so similar! I've spent so much $$ on ER visits and specialists and they all tell me my heart is fine. It was SO hard for me to accept that I had an anxiety disorder but finding this site has been AWESOME for me. Hang in there!!!

Dee-38yrs old 
Diagnosed with UC in 2004-PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression in 2007 & Fibromyalgia 2008
750mg colozal 3 pills 3x a day, .625-0750mg clonazepam, 6mg Lexapro
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