Day 4 and Alone!

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gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/10/2009 5:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi new friends!
 
I know this probably isn't the right sight to discuss my day 4 Alcohol withdrawl  but I am feeling I have no-one else to hear me right now. I am trying to abstain from the benzos the doc gave me to help me throught the symptoms and I am struggling...I want to take them to numb the pain and take lonleness away. I am on my own here and have no friends or close family that understand as I have pushed them all away during my receint battles. I know I am doing well....WOW day 4, but I feel so lost and alone.  I just need a hug and to be told everything will be ok. No-one is here because of me, that is a horrible thought...Why did i do this to myself and put myself where I am?   Thanks for listening! 
 
 Gillxx
 
P.s   I am so very very sorry for being so negitive!!
       My Struggles!
- Graves Disease in remission
- Depression on and off medicated
- Wrongly Diagonised Bi polar with meds
- Wrongly Diagonised BPD with meds
- Srtuggling with Bulimia
- X Drug Dependant, self medicating
- All along a drug induce psycosis- Nothing more..
- Recovering from a broken Heart
- Recient Recovering Alcoholic
      I am getting Stronger!
 


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/10/2009 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Gill

((((((((huge gentle hugs)))))))))

I am so very sorry I haven't met you yet or responded to your posts until now Gill. I have been unwell but I hope I can help you out now sweetie. Okay, did you get those hugs? Because you deserve them; coming off alcohol is one of the hardest things to do, especially on your own.

Now a little question, why abstain from the benzo's your doctor gave you for the withdrawl? That is what they are for. I don't know what quantity of alcohol you were taking prior to this but a cold-turkey withdrawl can be dangerous on your system. The benzos are to stop you from (worst case scenario) having seizures or going into D'T's. So don't think you are doing yourself any favour by abstaining my friend!!! Take the prescribed dose. It will help ease you through this initail phase. It's not a time to be worrying about benzo addiction okay?
 
Meg
Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/10/2009 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   

Gill,

Sorry, I forgot to mention a few things! I'm a recovering alcoholic, and I know how difficult this is to do. You may feel very lonely and vulnerable doing this, but trust me you are not alone. I am not the only person who has battled alcohol addiction on this site, or is currently battling it.

Do you have access to AA? I can reccomend them if you need a chat, or even better if you can go to a meeting. You will find them in your phonebook or on the net. You most likely don't want to see a complete stranger right now, but they will understand. As do I. You chances of success are so much better if you reach out. Truly. Now I'm going to applaud you for four days! Wow! They are the hardest.

yeah yeah hooray for you smilewinkgrin

If you want to email me anytime about any of this, or just need a vent please do. My email is visible in the blue envelope icon. I wish you all the very best, and many hugs for your wonderful effort.

Hugs,

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/10/2009 5:56 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Gilly

This is Kitt and No beating yourself up.  Day 4 is great........I am so sorry you feel so lonely, anyone you can call? 

Try practicing Staying in the moment.If you can learn to stay present in the moment then you can rapidly and gracefully change your life for the better! Our personal power is accessed in the present. We are creating our futures right this very second through the thoughts and energy that we are sending out. What future are you creating for yourself if your thoughts are filled with anxiety, anger, and fear? What would your future look like if you could send out love, joy and prosperity?

Practice staying present today. Take deep breaths often. Really feel what you are doing. When you are driving in the car really focus on what you are doing, seeing and hearing. Approach your work with focus and clarity. When you are with a loved one really listen to what they are saying to you.“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.

You can make it through, but know you will have many tough days and come hear and talk with us.  We will support you.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/10/2009 6:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou...I did feel that hug and I feel so much better for it.  Just after I sent that post my sister rang and it was nice to hear her voice since we dont usually get along so well....Thankyou for all you kind words and advice. I hope I can be there for you guys too!   Gillxxxxx

       My Struggles!
- Graves Disease in remission
- Depression on and off medicated
- Wrongly Diagonised Bi polar with meds
- Wrongly Diagonised BPD with meds
- Srtuggling with Bulimia
- X Drug Dependant, self medicating
- All along a drug induce psycosis- Nothing more..
- Recovering from a broken Heart
- Recient Recovering Alcoholic
      I am getting Stronger!
 


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/10/2009 10:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Gilly :)

You are doing great and please take the benzo's as prescribed because I know from personal experience how hard it is as a recovering alcoholic :) Four days is a wonderful step and the hardest. . . Be pround and love yourself enough to take care of your life!

Congrats! You will be okay with your HW family :)
Take care and have a wonderful day! . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
  "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
~Franklin D. Roosevelt~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6488
   Posted 1/11/2009 4:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gilly

4 days thats great news well done Gilly i know how hard it is to stop drinking so well done. I agree with the other members and think take the prescribed dose of you Benzo as your doctor has given you them for this reason. You are doing really well Gilly and we are all proud of you keep up the good work you can do it Gilly.

Hugs

Ben

gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/11/2009 6:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Guys....I want to again thankyou for your advice and I should have taken it!! I over did the benzos yesterday and didn't want to risk the same thing happening again today....Big mistake!! I really now understand why they perscribed them to me. I lost it and thought I was loosing my mind. I had a panic attack and thought horrrible things. I hurt myself and I am ashamed of that!!! I was a mess and had tremors and shakes. I have just taken a valium even though i didnt want to as I dont want to risk taking to many.....I know this is all bad news. But I am committed to staying sober and want to take care of myself the right way.  I will take your advice more seriously from now on.   Sorry guys!  gillxx

       My Struggles!
- Graves Disease in remission
- Depression on and off medicated
- Wrongly Diagonised Bi polar with meds
- Wrongly Diagonised BPD with meds
- Srtuggling with Bulimia
- X Drug Dependant, self medicating
- All along a drug induce psycosis- Nothing more..
- Recovering from a broken Heart
- Recient Recovering Alcoholic
      I am getting Stronger!
 


SleepyBug
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 1/11/2009 6:41 AM (GMT -7)   
gilly,

day 4! you are doing wonderfully. i am so, so proud of you. i know the road seems long and impassable in places, but there is so much truth to the old adage "a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step". you have taken those first steps and gotten the ball rolling, and that is so huge! you deserve so much love and support and all the hugs in the world for doing what you've done. when you feel sad and lonely and like it's just too hard, please come here! we love you and are supporting and cheering you on all the way.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
love and hugs
~danielle

this being human is a guest house.
every morning a new arrival-a joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awarenewss comes as an unexpected visitor.
welcome and entertain them all!
even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably
he may be clearing you out for some new delight.
~rumi


gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/11/2009 6:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Thankyou Danielle, that means so much to me right now! Gill xxx
       My Struggles!
- Graves Disease in remission
- Depression on and off medicated
- Wrongly Diagonised Bi polar with meds
- Wrongly Diagonised BPD with meds
- Srtuggling with Bulimia
- X Drug Dependant, self medicating
- All along a drug induce psycosis- Nothing more..
- Recovering from a broken Heart
- Recient Recovering Alcoholic
      I am getting Stronger!
 


gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/11/2009 7:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Thankyou....I am so emotional at the moment!! All this love and support it is all to forgien to me. Thanks again for the advice and honesty. Gillxx
       My Struggles!
- Graves Disease in remission
- Depression on and off medicated
- Wrongly Diagonised Bi polar with meds
- Wrongly Diagonised BPD with meds
- Srtuggling with Bulimia
- X Drug Dependant, self medicating
- All along a drug induce psycosis- Nothing more..
- Recovering from a broken Heart
- Recient Recovering Alcoholic
      I am getting Stronger!
 


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 1/11/2009 9:43 AM (GMT -7)   
We are here for you anytime you need us Gilly. I think justbreath gave you some great advice, each day say today I am not going to drink. This is a very difficult time for you, and to be alone thru it has to be horrible. I agree with maybe joining an AA group and meet up with folks who are suffering just like you might really help you. I will keep you in my prayers. Stay strong my friend.

Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 1/11/2009 11:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Gill,

Just wanting to send you some more (((((hugs))))) to let you know that you are definitely not alone here on the forum. You are fighting an extremely hard battle right now, and I'm glad you feel comfortable reaching out to us for support.

percycat

Percy/Percycat

Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/12/2009 5:12 PM (GMT -7)   

How are you doing Gilly?

Just checking in to see how you are going, and thinking of you..sending warm fuzzies!!

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/12/2009 6:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi meg....Day 6 and doing just fine. They are stopping the valium now and have put me on naltrexone. I am feeling confident at this stage and am happy to finally have it out of my system...Now I just have to stay strong and avoid any temtation. Thanks for checking. gillxx
       My Struggles!
- Graves Disease in remission
- Depression on and off medicated
- Wrongly Diagonised Bi polar with meds
- Wrongly Diagonised Borderline Personality Disorder with meds
- Srtuggling with Bulimia
- X Drug Abuse for self medication
- All along a drug induce psycosis
- Recovering from a broken Heart
- Recient Recovering Alcoholic
      I am getting Stronger!
 


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/12/2009 8:07 PM (GMT -7)   
That is great Gilly :) I'm glad you were able to wean off of them effectively.

Keep us posted and take it easy.
Take care and have a wonderful day! . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
  "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
~Franklin D. Roosevelt~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


SleepyBug
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 1/12/2009 8:16 PM (GMT -7)   
hey gilly,

day six!! you are doing so great! {{{{{{{{celebratory hugs}}}}}}}}} i was thinking about you today, too-i am glad you checked in and let us know how you're doing.

still here supporting you and praying for your continued healing and victory!
love and hugs
~danielle

this being human is a guest house.
every morning a new arrival-a joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awarenewss comes as an unexpected visitor.
welcome and entertain them all!
even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably
he may be clearing you out for some new delight.
~rumi


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/12/2009 9:38 PM (GMT -7)   

Day six wow...amazing work Gilly!

Best of luck with the naltrexone..keep fighting this and when you feel like giving in..or feel weak, come here and us for help okay? Try and remember how bad it feels to wake up hungover..the regrets and self hatred. No amount of alcohol "relief" is worth it for that.

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/12/2009 11:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Meg..I will do that. gillxx
       My Struggles!
- Graves Disease in remission
- Depression on and off medicated
- Wrongly Diagonised Bi polar with meds
- Wrongly Diagonised Borderline Personality Disorder with meds
- Srtuggling with Bulimia
- X Drug Abuse for self medication
- All along a drug induce psycosis
- Recovering from a broken Heart
- Recient Recovering Alcoholic
      I am getting Stronger!
 

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