Fear going crazy/lost in my mind... PLEASE HELP ME

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Meemur
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 1/11/2009 11:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Okay, i know there have been threads which discussed similar symptoms and issues but i get obsessed with finding people who can say they have experienced the things i feel. it makes me feel a little more sane when i know there is someone else who understands...

so i have always had panic attacks, but it was always the physical symptoms, and though they were uncomfortable, it is nothing to the form my anxiety/panic has taken now...

i feel like i have started to live in my mind! I have constant obsessive and warped thoughts, like am i real? what if i am really in a coma or something, what if i am different than everyone else?? I am constantly looking up symptoms of schizophrenia, brain tumors, etc...

I get so depressed when i start thinking and feeling like this and i feel like there is no way out. Is there anyone else who ever thinks these crazy things or feels like this? I get so scared...

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/11/2009 11:13 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello and Welcome,

I would like to suggest that you see a professional as finding others that feel like you is going to make you realize you are not alone and you aren't.  However, you need to get better and you need a professional to help you with that.

You are not going crazy, you are going to be OK with help.

Remember to try to stay in the moment.

Yesterday is gone forever, tomorrow is not yet here and Today is really all we ever have. We may have the memories of yesterday but it is over and so we do not need to continue to live in it. Well tomorrow is not here so it might be nice to set goals for tomorrow, or dream of what we would like it to be, but again it is not here yet so we can not live in it until it gets here. So we can only live in the here and now of Today. What a wonderful gift.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Meemur
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 1/11/2009 11:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so much for your quick response!

I am seeing a professional but he is a new doctor and I feel like he gives me textbook answers for everything I explain to him... I'm in the process of finding a doctor who is right for me but its difficult.

I've been on lexapro and klonopin for 2 yrs. sometimes i'm okay, but i have breakdowns...

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 1/11/2009 11:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Meemur,

Welcome!

Some of what you're describing seems similar to things other members have posted, and I hope they'll be along soon to offer insight.

You didn't say, but are you seeing a therapist for your anxiety? A lot of us here have found cognitive behavioral therapy to be very helpful. Yes, many times we seek it out because the physical symptoms are just pushing us over the edge. however, I've found that my therapist helps me out a lot in sorting out my thinking, determining where certain ideas are coming from (and I don't mean in a "Tell me about your childhood" way), and deciding how *I* feel best about dealing with my thoughts and behaviors.

There was a nice thread a while back about trying to turn scary or "warpy" thoughts into positives. Also, when you have health anxiety, including mental health anxiety, it seems to only make things worse to go looking up symptoms and conditions on the web. I know that it's really harmful for me personally. I tell myself that I just need to be informed, but what I learn on the web is mostly about worst-case scenarios, or how what I'm feeling might match a given illness. What's helped me far more is talking with my personal doctor about why my symptoms *DON'T* match what I'm reading, how the illness I fear would *REALLY* behave, and why I *CAN'T* truly have it. I think web sites by their public nature try to err on the side of telling people every detail of how an illness does behave, and the sites might set themselves up for trouble if they started including "How To Tell That You Don't Have...." Just my personal opinion.

percycat

Percy/Percycat

Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/11/2009 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   

You may need a change in your AD as there are many to choose from.  I would guess you are at 20 mg of Lexapro.  You should feel better.  I know the AD's won't take away all the problems but they should make you feel better and able to function in your activities of daily life.

Take care and do get a new Physician if you need to.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Meemur
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 1/11/2009 11:30 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks for the advice, i have been trying to find a good CBT in my area. I just need to keep optimistic and positive about the therapy working, i have a habit of being cynical...

red lightening
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 1/11/2009 12:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Yesterday during my panic attack I felt like I was going crazy...like I would if I just let it all out.
I was afraid the urgent care Dr. was going to send me to the psyche ward so I had to tone it down.

I was afraid I would fall down the steps or drop something, my coordination was off.

I also felt detached from reality...and like I wasn't altogether there. I trembled and shook and sweated.

From what I've read so far on panic attacks these are some of the symptoms.

My panic attack lasted 4-5 hours but it's gone now.

I believe there is hope for everyone and you will find the healing you need...you're definitely not alone
and I'm pulling for you.

It will get better...npthing stays crazy forever...your body is trying to equalize itself right now.

Go easy and love yourself.

Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6482
   Posted 1/11/2009 12:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Meemur

Welcome to healingwell I am glad you have found us. I know what you are going through I get a lot of obsessive and warped thoughts which seem to come and go, I mainly get these thoughts at night time when i goto bed and I have bad sleeping problems due to this and I also get really bad night terrors. I think drug abuse made these symptoms a lot worse for me. I am sorry to hear you are going through this but glad to here you are looking for some CBT as i only here very positive things about this kind of therapy. I have had CAT therapy which is similar to CBT and found it very helpful at the start I was like you and felt cynical about if it would work but i found it really did help me, I am due to have some CBT and looking forward to it as I am finding things difficult at the moment all i would say is that you have to be completely honest with your therapist, pdoc and doctor tell them every thing and then you will get the most out of therapy.

I wish you well and hope you get some CBT sorted out. Know we are here to listen and support if needed.

Take Care

Ben

Meemur
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 1/11/2009 2:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all so much for your help! You don't know how much it means to me that you spent the time to answer and make my panic a little more bearable! I definitely have had some past drug abuse and ptsd events in the last two or three yrs so perhaps those factors are major contributers to why i feel this way. i am going to try and find a therapist and start trying to get control, but it really makes me feel better to know there are people that understand and support me (sometimes it is hard talking to family and friends... they dont always understand)

Peace and Love!

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/11/2009 4:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Meemur,

Welcome to the A/P Forum here on HealingWell :) You have already received great advice and I don't have any more to add to this. Just wanted to say hello :)
Take care and have a wonderful day! . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
  "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
~Franklin D. Roosevelt~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/11/2009 6:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Reading your story breaks my heart...I too have been where you are and it is a frightning place...Noone can seenm to reach you when you are lost in your own mind.....It hurts me to think you are going through this....Please hang in there and find the right doc...Please! It does get better, Please trust me!   gillxx
       My Struggles!
- Graves Disease in remission
- Depression on and off medicated
- Wrongly Diagonised Bi polar with meds
- Wrongly Diagonised Borderline Personality Disorder with meds
- Srtuggling with Bulimia
- X Drug Abuse for self medication
- All along a drug induce psycosis
- Recovering from a broken Heart
- Recient Recovering Alcoholic
      I am getting Stronger!
 


Meemur
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 1/11/2009 7:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you gilly-love. It really means so much that people are telling me that they have felt like this before because i feel less alone. I just want to start feeling like the happy and strong person i used to be and its so depressing as i lose myself more and more... but i'm gonna work harder and find a therapist, but just hearing all of your thoughts means so much!

Thanks you!

gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/11/2009 10:09 PM (GMT -7)   
You can email me anytime...just click on the email part and I can hopefully help u a little futher...My experience is very hard and personal and a place i dont like to re visit often....but If i can help you in anyway everything I went through would be for a purpose.....gillxx
       My Struggles!
- Graves Disease in remission
- Depression on and off medicated
- Wrongly Diagonised Bi polar with meds
- Wrongly Diagonised Borderline Personality Disorder with meds
- Srtuggling with Bulimia
- X Drug Abuse for self medication
- All along a drug induce psycosis
- Recovering from a broken Heart
- Recient Recovering Alcoholic
      I am getting Stronger!
 

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