Welcome to HW, I am so glad you have joined us. You have been through so much lately..it must be impossible to "suck it up". Grieving is such an important healing process..don't feel you need to deny yourself that or be strong for other people. We all need to give ourselves permission to fall apart sometimes!!
I would suggest taking these concerns to a health professional. They will be able to advise you as to the best treatment be it meds or therapy. Again, welcome, I look forward to getting to know you.