If you are feeling really stressed out and feel like you are going to have a meltdown, please tell someone close to you. It's really important to have someone who can keep an eye on you during this time okay? I would hate to see anything happen to you.
If the showers are giving you some comfort and solace, then embrace the fact that you smell great..it's only a harmful behaviour if it interrupts your quality of life, as far as coping skills go..this isn't too bad.
Do you have any idea what has caused this episode of high anxiety? I don't mean to pry, I just want to help. Please email me if you need to talk privately, and please stay safe. If things get "too much" call someone for help.
I wish you all the best,
Gabby my friend,
Slow down the thinking, it feels to me like your mind is racing. You going around in a big circle so step out of the circle and give your self some breathing space.