I feel alone and misunderstood

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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 185
   Posted 1/14/2009 8:33 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm really just scratching the surface lately on my anxiety. I've always experienced tension, migranes and moments of extreme panic in places that lack familiarity, public spaces and when I'm in uncomfortable situations from my earliest childhood.

However until just recently I didn't have a name for what I was experiencing and now that I finally realized I'm not crazy, that there is a name for what I have experienced all my life I'm at a loss - How did I live 20 years without getting treatment? It's true that since I developed Fibro I've had more symptoms to my anxiety (light and sound sensitivities) which is the only reason why I talked to my doctor about it and now that I realize that I have anxiety, and that I've been experiencing it for as long as I can remember, I feel a sort of relief but dispair... if I had gotten treatment earlier maybe my life would have gone a little different... I just am glad that I finally have an answer... the diagnosis of anxiety makes my whole life, my health issues, all make sense.

But now I feel misunderstood, even by myself - it's hard to wrap my brain around that I've been struggling on my own for so long and now that I'm finally am getting treatment I'm thankful but resistant at the same time.

I just feel alone
Diagnosed with Fibro - October 2008
Gabapentin 300mg/Paroxetine 40mg/Armitriptyline 40mg to help me sleep and anxiety 
Lorazepan... when things get real bad.
And I'm not fond of people who don't label pill bottles.

Green Grove
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/14/2009 11:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Corrie :)

I'm sorry you are going through this. It is an emotion that I have felt many times before. Like you, I went years with this darn disorder and felt so out of place. . . like I was weird and crazy all rolled up into one. It only made things worse. I think with a lot of us, the docs and general public considered anxiety a major mental problem for years back before the 90's and yes even up to today stilll with many. I feel for all of us that could have had some treatment without the stigma behind it and believe that it could have possibly made our quality of life so much better. The only good thing about it is at least now we are getting the help needed for so long.

Don't be too hard on yourself. I think it is natural to feel alone and misunderstood after that many years. Also, you should not feel alone. We have people on this forum from all over the world that are going through the same things, so you are in good company my friend :) We all understand and support each other which is a true blessing. If you have not done so already, have you checked out our link to MoodGYM? It is a free online therapy that you work at your own pace. It has helped me and others to be able to deal with these down feelings.

I wish you the best!
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Fall Seven Times. . . . . . . . . .  Stand Up Eight."
~Japanese Proverb~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6373
   Posted 1/15/2009 9:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Corrie

As Nikki and Sam said don't feel alone we are here and understand what you are going through. I to lived with anxiety for most of my life and was only diagnosed with GAD about 2 yrs ago but it was a huge weight off my shoulders to find out that i really did have a problem and like you I now need to sort it out. I found therapy helped me and I have some CBT coming up, take one day at a time.

Take Care


Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 1/15/2009 9:35 AM (GMT -6)   

what you're saying is really resonating with me..i, too, think i've had anxiety issues for most of my life, but didn't get diagnosed until i was in my 20's. i had several years where i was just fine, but over the past year or so my life has been terribly stressful and my a/p has come back with a vengeance. i also have fibro, and agree with you that the over sensitivity that comes with fibro (people, noise, heat, lights, etc) make my a/p worse.

looking back on my life, i also have to wonder how different things would be if i'd been diagnosed as a child. of course, considering the things i went through as a kid, i don't know if being diagnosed would have made much of a difference. i think that those of us who struggled with anxiety and panic as children are made to feel so weird-we don't fit in, or we don't feel like we fit in because we get nervous and worry about things that none of our friends seem to worry about. i think that can make us feel very isolated and lonely (or at least it did in my case) which can create a situation where we start to turn towards unhealthy things to get us through. for me the coping mechanisms have been keeping everything bottled up and being super responsible (which i wonder if might have caused my fibro in the first place) and also food. i've struggled with emotional eating for as long as i can remember and it's still something i have to fight against on a daily basis. for others, coping might mean turning to alcohol and drugs, or shopping, or sex, or gambling or angry outbursts. everyone is different in how they express their feelings of childhood isolation, but i think it all stems from the same thing.

i don't know..i am not a therapist, but i do have to wonder about this. i'm sorry for rambling, but i did want you to know that you are not alone in your feelings.

love and hugs

this being human is a guest house.
every morning a new arrival-a joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awarenewss comes as an unexpected visitor.
welcome and entertain them all!
even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably
he may be clearing you out for some new delight.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 1/15/2009 1:35 PM (GMT -6)   
I think everyone else has done a beautiful job in helping you with this post. So, I just want to tell you that I will be thinkng about you and sending warm thoughts your way! Hang in there!

Anxiety Disorder/Mitral Valve Prolapse
Prozac and Carvedilol

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 185
   Posted 1/15/2009 4:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Aww thanks guys, I was just having a really bad day yesterday... Everything has just been piling up lately and everything seems so much more difficult for me than everybody around me. Everybody is going on with their jobs and lives and I feel stagnant and I'm struggling with coming to terms with that.

It's just a hard place to be. But I know I'll make it - I've got the rest of my life to live after this - and I can always hope things can improve.

But really thanks :D you guys made me smile.
Diagnosed with Fibro - October 2008

Venlafaxine 70mg/Armitriptyline 40mg to help me sleep and anxiety

Ativan... when things get real bad.

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