Guys I need some support

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Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 1/22/2009 12:41 PM (GMT -7)   
As you all are aware my Mama passed on Monday.  I am doing as well as can be expected, just feeling overwhelmed with all the service details etc.  My anxiety seems to keep trying to put its ugly head in there just to create some additional problems.  I am trying to stay in the moment like Skitt always tells us to, but I am still struggling.  I am taking the Xanax, in fact, took two already today.  For some reason I don't know what I am supposed to do.  I keep trying to lay down and relax, then I start thinking of things I need to do, and there I go again.  Can you help me get back to me?  I really need some words of wisdom, anything guys, please help me! 
 
By the way, Mama services will be tomorrow at noon.  She was cremated, so it will be a memorial service.  I found a beautiful poem that I am going to read, and my oldest daughter will be reading a grandma poem for her.  And my sister to read the 23rd Psalm.  I know that whatever we do it will be beautiful.
 
Thanks for the words I know you will have for me.  And thank you for always being there for me.
 
Love,
Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/22/2009 12:48 PM (GMT -7)   
My friend
I know what you had to do I had to do the same but I know Dad is no longer in Pain and with Mom and his maker

What I will tell you IMHO you all decided right by your Mama
It is so hard even when it is this way my friend
I know I was in shock for some time
Everything reminded me of dad and still does
I really do try to celebrate his life now that I did what he wanted
He was always the one there for me and so I was there for him
Just as you were for your Mama
Know she is looking down on you all fixed up in no pian and watching over you
I truly know this is hard Gail but keep in mind you did right ...........
Your Mama is at Peace and is always watchng over you .......
Luvs to you sis
LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2279
   Posted 1/22/2009 1:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Gail,
I am truly sorry to hear about your loss. I'm sure the poem you chose for the memorial service is beautiful & I hope you are able to find some comfort in being surrounded by family and friends.

Can you talk to the director for the memorial service? Usually they can provide a list of what needs to be taken care of. You shouldn't have to try to come up with it yourself. Take care of the things that really need to be done & then allow yourself some time to rest. Rather than trying to think of nothing when you relax, maybe you can come up with something positive to think about -- it could be related to good memories of your mama, or it could just be time to cook or craft, or even just reading a book or repeating a scripture verse. When you start, just set aside a little time -- maybe 5 minutes -- to take a break. If it runs over, no worries, but that way you don't have the pressure of trying to lay down & "relax" for a half-hour or hour.

Maybe think about getting some extra counseling to get you through this difficult time & always remember that you are well loved.

-frances

FamilyGuy
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3310
   Posted 1/22/2009 1:38 PM (GMT -7)   
((((Gail)))) Try to think of all the wonderful memories you have of your mom and know that her suffering is over. I'm sure she is proudly looking at you from heaven.
Jon,  Co-moderator for Crohn's Disease and Depression forums
 
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret." -- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet 
 
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Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/22/2009 1:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Blessed are those who mourn. . . for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4
 
 
Dearest Gail,
 
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother.  I am praying for you and your family for some balance from your tears and sadness. . . I know it is a hard path before you right now and just know that I am here for you along with the rest of our family that all love you so much.  God bless you sweet Nanners and may the angels lift you up and give you soothing hugs of peace and comfort.
 
Your Brother in Christ and in friendship,
Sam


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 1/22/2009 2:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Nanners, I didn't know your mom had passed! I'm so sorry! I personally believe she is with God and looks over all of you. I will pray for all of you and your mama. Take each day as it comes. Don't worry about anything else. My heart is with you guys!
Anxiety Disorder/Mitral Valve Prolapse
 
Prozac and Carvedilol


ocean1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 707
   Posted 1/22/2009 2:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Gail, I cannot even begin to fathom the depth of your loss.  I lost my young nephew 6 years ago and never thought I would think of anything but him ever again and at first all I could think about was the sadness but after a while I started to remember all the special little simple moments I had with him and, though it is still hard, remembering those moments does help.  I know he went to a better place and is no longer in pain and is "zooming" around heaven with his wings (he never even rolled over or sat up).  I can only tell you that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I am wishing you peace in your heart and soul and please know that we are all here for you whenever you need us.

Diane
LET US BE GRATEFUL TO PEOPLE WHO MAKE US HAPPY. 
THEY ARE THE CHARMING GARDENERS WHO MAKE OUR SOULS BLOSSOM.

Anxiety 2007; IBS 2004; Chronic Hives 2002.  Medications:  Allegra, Zantac, Xanax, Darvocet.


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/22/2009 2:49 PM (GMT -7)   

Sweet Gail,

It sounds to me like you are just coping and getting through. There is no right way to grieve, but it is an empty, lonely place to be. Please know that I am thinking of you and sending you many, many belated hugs.

Staying in the moment is the best place to be, try not to think too far forward or too far back, hold onto your memories, but don't get overwhelmed by them. I hope your pain eases my friend, and know we are here to listen and hold your hand. I'm sorry I haven't been around for a while, but I got out of hospital this morning and I am here now. Lean on us, we love you.

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 1/22/2009 2:51 PM (GMT -7)   

with all i have, i am praying for you. you are going through so much, i pray that you are given a sense of calm and peace and comfort at this difficult time. Gail, lean on us and let us help you. i am sure your mama's service will be a beautiful celebration of a wonderful lady who is now at peace.

I love you Gail and im praying like a mad woman,

Maz XX


            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
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MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 1/22/2009 2:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Gail,
I believe those we love never truely leave us and they are here to comfort us in our time of need. You know I am a sailor and when I look out on the ocean horizon I think of what is beyond that horizon and that is kinda how I think of those who have gone before us are simply just beyond our sight, but we shall see them again when it is our time to leave this earthly port. While they are gone from our sight there are kids and grandkids to be raised!
Hugs,
Navy


Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 1/22/2009 3:24:52 PM (GMT-7)


Junebug05
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 717
   Posted 1/22/2009 4:54 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  Try to treat yourself very gently and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel.  There just isn't anything that can be said to help right now, but I'll be thinking of you and praying that you will move through this.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/22/2009 9:59 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Sweet Nanners,

I have been trying to come up with the right words to say to you but at moments like this I feel any words are the right words in letting you know how sorry I am at the death of your Mother.  I do believe you have made the right decision so never regret letting go of your Mom here on this earth.

Let the tears fall my dear friend and keep that special place in your heart to hold all the wonderful memories you have of your Mom. Allow yourself to grieve in your own way.

I know the service will be beautiful...........honor her life and celebrate how great she was. My prayers and sympathy to you and all of your family.  I am posting my favorite verse for you and I think this is the first time I have shared this..................

I cannot say, and I will not say
That she is dead, she is just away!
With a Cheery Smile and a wave of the hand
She has wandered into an unknown land.

And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be since she lingers there,
And you - oh you, who the wildest yearn
For the old-time step and the glad return.

Think of her fairing on, as dear
In the love of there, as the love of here,
Think of her still as the same, I say.
she is not dead - she is just away.

- James Whiteomb Riley

This verse touched my heart so much that I had "He is just away" etched on my son's gravestone.

My sincere love to you,

Kitt



 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 1/23/2009 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry Gail. You'll be in my prayers. Just take it easy. Don't force yourself to do anything. Sometimes we like to get "busy" to avoid feeling the grief. This caused my breakdown when my brother died. Take some time and do something nice for yourself. Maybe a massage.

Dee-38yrs old 
Diagnosed with UC in 2004-PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression in 2007 & Fibromyalgia 2008
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Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 1/23/2009 1:09 PM (GMT -7)   
*Hugs*
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/23/2009 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   

Nanners,

I am with you in heart and soul today and I am sure your Mother's service was bittersweet but  a beautiful tribute to her.

Hugs and Blessings

Kitt 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/23/2009 5:38 PM (GMT -7)   

((((((((((((((((((((((((Gail)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I am thinking of you today sweet lady.

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
 


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/23/2009 6:02 PM (GMT -7)   
You are in my thoughts and prayers today dear Nanners. . .

Sam
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out."
~Edwin Markham~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 1/24/2009 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Sweet Gail,

I hope you were able to draw some comfort from your mother's service yesterday. I'm sure she was there in spirit, feeling all of the love you all have for her, letting it waft her onward, and also covering you and your family with her own love in return.

Hugs,
percycat

Percy/Percycat

Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 1/24/2009 10:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all so much for your kind words. Mama's service was so beautiful. I actually planned it all myself, and I was helped by the church to put it all in the right order. I had planned the music, poems, had a beautiful collage of pictures, my oldest daughter put that together, my work sent a beautiful bouqet of flowers, it was truly beautiful.

Nikki, I tried so hard to download that song, but couldn't find it anywhere. It sounded so perfect and beautiful. But I did find another one by The Singing Cookes called "Send your best angel for my Mama". If any of you ever want to hear it you should try to listen to it sometime, it is really lovely. My Mama was a lover of the old country western style of music, and this song was perfect. I will admit for me and my siblings it brought alot of tears to our eyes, because it was perfect for my Mom.

I read a poem entitled "Dearest Family". And its like my Mom telling us about Heaven, that she is okay, and that she will be there waiting for us when our time comes. My two oldest daughters read poems about Grandma's love. And what was really really wonderful, is with all the planning I didn't think of refreshments for afterwards. But my sister's bible study group, all got together and created this wonderful spread. I was deeply touched by all their kindness. And my favorite pastor eulogized her so beautifully.

Thank you all for the love you have shared with me. I know I have the process of grieving to go thru, and I have to go thru it, no matter how difficult, I do have to go thru it. But you are all right, with your love, I will be okay. My husband has been truly wonderful thru it all. He really is my rock.

Thank you again for all your support and kindness. I am not feeling so much anxiety as I was, just feeling sad, but I know within time it will get better. I do love you all very much, I really really do.

Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/24/2009 4:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Gail
I know you are well aware of the love n caring all have for you here

I am keeping you in my heart thoughts and prayers
I was thinking about you and the memoril yeaterday
I knew it would be wonderfully warm and loving

Luvs
God Bless
LYN/sis
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/25/2009 1:40 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm glad the ceremony was a beautiful testament to your sweet mother, Gail :) I am here for you through the tough times as well as the good my friend. I wish you much peace and healing right now.

Take care,
Your bro,
Sam
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out."
~Edwin Markham~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 

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