I have hit rock bottom

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6488
   Posted 1/30/2009 1:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi

I am feeling more depressed than i have ever been I am trying my best to stay in the moment but I am in a dark hole. I am getting really bad nightmares so my sleep is bad, Is there a connection between nightmares and mental health problems?. I feel i have let myself and you guys down I was making progress last year but seem to be letting things get on top of me again. I feel as if nothing is going right and I am getting racing thoughts through my head which I cant switch off. I got some bad news before christmas that my Dad has suspected parkinsons disease we are waiting on some tests to come back to confirm, my dad has been such a source of support over the last few years and my mum, I am really worried for my dad and concerned how things will progress for him. Its weird at the moment as some off you know I am on a extended leave from work and on holiday skiing which I am enjoying and it has been taking my mind off things but as soon as I stop all the racing thoughts come back and play on my mind so my alcohol intake has increased. I am feeling really down and just wish that I can get a grip on things and be free of anxiety and depression I have felt this way for so long now that it feels like the norm and I am frustrated that I have let myself get this.

I hate coming on here and venting as I feel we should try to stay as positive as possible but I dont know what to do. I did have a look at the moodgym website and will start that and when I get back I am due to have CBT which I hope will help me out as I have yet to find medication that works for me which I do find depressing.

Sorry again for venting I do try my best not to but just needed to right something down about the way I am feeling.

P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 1/30/2009 1:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Im so sorry you are having such a hard time. It sounds like you have a lot of stress going on. Do you have a counselor you can talk to? You also may want to consult your doctor for some meds during this difficult time. CBT may also be a good option for dealing with all of the stress.

Dee-38yrs old wife and mom of 3 boys
UC/PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression/Fibromyalgia
750mg colozal/.750mg clonazepam, 7mg Lexapro
1,000mg canasa/Fioricet/Nexium 40mg
Triple Strength Fish Oils/Colonoscopies-4
 


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 1/30/2009 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, Ben, I'm sorry that you're struggling so much right now. Don't fret about not being "upbeat" in your posts - this is a place for both giving and receiving support - honest! - and if you need to be receiving right now, that's perfectly okay. (Besides, when somebody else offers you support, that's doing a bit of good for them - so try not to feel guilty, okay?)

The health concerns about your dad are sure to be a trigger, my friend, and for now I think all you can do is just take one step after the other, seeing what each day brings. I suspect you're worried that you shouldn't "take" so much support from your mom and dad if he's getting ill, but even an illness like Parkinson's won't make him *want* to support you less. What I'm trying to say is that he wants to be there for you, and that won't change. The only thing that could change is that you might feel differently about accepting his support, because you want him to be able to keep his strength for himself.

I'm glad you're getting to enjoy the skiing and take your mind off the rough spots for a while. The apres-ski crowd is a tough one for sobriety - maybe others here will have some good advice for you shortly.

I think the moodgym and CBT will help you feel more proactive again, and less helpless and defeated. Anxiety may have you down, but every little step - even posting here (vent away!) - is a way that you are fighting against it. Each day, you get stronger and understand your own abilities against it better.

Hang in there, my friend!

percycat

Percy/Percycat

Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 1/30/2009 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Sleep deprivation is linked to mental illness -- and, physical illness, sometimes too. I know I get *extremely* depressed when I miss 4-5 nights of good sleep in a row. My neuro said about 50% of people with depression had sleep disturbances first. I don't know whether it's true, but it makes sense for me. Thank God for Lunesta or I'd probably be locked up half the year. ;) lol

Is there anything you can take so you can get a good night's sleep? Something OTC or else maybe you can stop at a clinic to see someone to get a script. You've got so much going on in your life right now. You need all the energy you can manage to fight the negative thoughts.

take care of yourself,
frances

Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6488
   Posted 1/30/2009 3:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi

Thanks guys for your support it means a lot to me. I am just felling bad that i seem to have let things get this way again, I find it hard to talk to my friends about how I am feeling as I think its hard for them to understand. Sometimes I wish I could start all over again and do things differently I have a lot off regrets that play on my mind, I know I should not dwell on this but I do. I put a brave face on with my friends as i dont want them to know I am struggling my family have been a great source of support for me and Percycat you are right about it being a trigger I am really worried for my Dad and just hope I can be there for him as much as he has been for me over the years. My sleep has always been really bad and I seem to be going through a bad stage with this at the moment maybe getting two hours a night and as I said really bad nightmares which seem to be about me getting attacked or chased which is really scary and disrupting my sleep. I think and hope CBT will help me out when I get back as I cant go on like this, I get angry as I can see the cycles I get myself in but struggle to break those cycles.

Thanks for your support.

Ben

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 1/30/2009 3:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey my Scottish friend :)

I'm sorry that you are going through so much right now. I see you already have received some great advice and support from our family. I just wanted to say hello and that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that things work out for you Dad. . . Seems to me like you are a really grateful son, so I'm sure everthing will be okay. Take care of yourself Ben!
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"I can't control the events in my life. . . .  But I can control my reaction."
~Lucinda Bassett~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/30/2009 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Ben,

OK my friend, we have to get you out of the pit and you are not able to go home yet so we have to work with getting you through this time frame.  Do try the online CBT.

Reducing anxiety in our daily lives is not hard to do once we know how. In our fast paced and stress filled world, anxiety has become a normal part of life. In small amounts, anxiety keeps us alert and out of danger, sparks us to action, and helps us to live a long and more fruitful life. When anxiety becomes so severe that it limits our functions and cripples us from living a normal life, we need to start thinking about reducing anxiety.

 
I know when you get back home you have appontments with professionals but work with us here at this time and lets get your anxiety lowered.
The main objective is remembering what you are capable of doing. smhair One way to change thought patterns is by limiting time spent thinking. Find a hobby or a distraction that you enjoy, preferably one that has a high degree of mental concentration. Painting and drawing are good examples. With both these activities, your mind is on the task at hand so you have very little time to picture or think about what causes you stress. The main point is to find something you enjoy that can be done for a long period of time.
I know you are skiing but try mixing up some other activities.

Call a friend when feelings of anxiousness or fear arise. A friend is not a replacement for professional help when needed, but a friend can be there to listen when you are having a bad day. Sometimes letting off a little steam can help relive tension and anxiety. Venting here is a good way but change those negatives to positives.   Reword you negative comments...............you are not a failure and you never will be.

I know your Father is having tests but this is a treatable disease so do not let yourself get into anticipatory anxiety.

Stay in that moment.

Share a laugh. Nothing breaks the tension like laughing. If you walk around feeling miserable, you will be miserable, but if you laugh life seems better. So if you are down, watch a funny movie or TV show to laugh.

Know your personal limits. One of the chief causes of anxiety is when a person takes on more than he can handle. Know your limits as to what you can do and how much you can do. It will go a long way in reducing anxiety in life.

Let us help you and get back out of the anxiety cycle and know you are a good person.........Tell yourself so everyday.

Believe.
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


anxietychick
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 1/30/2009 5:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Ben,

rock bottom is just how i felt the other night when i first posted to this forum. i feel so bad for you but i dont know what to say..... i know posting the other night was a nice release for me, cuz i felt comfortable that you guys here would be able to relate ...
if you need to talk more then just keep posting, i have only been a member for a few days but it seems like there is a lot of support here. one of the things that i do when i feel my anxiety taking over is listen to music on my mp3 player. if i can drown out everything else and just listen to my music it helps.

Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6488
   Posted 1/31/2009 1:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Guys

I am going to start the online CBT today. Thank you for the reply's and support they mean a lot to me, I think therapy is going to be the key for me as medication does not really help me and I am due to do CBT when I return in March but will get a head start with moodgym. Kitt you give great advice and make a lot of sense and I thank you for your continued support, I know you are also going through a hard time at the moment and my thoughts are with you and your family as well. Im feeling really paranoid today which is a horrible feeling getting lots of crazy thoughts and had an other bad nightmare last night.

Thanks again for all the reply's

Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6488
   Posted 1/31/2009 2:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi

Just completed the first module on moodgym found out that I was in the very high range for depression and anxiety and identified 8 warped thoughts took a while to do the module as my reading is not the best but glad I have started the module as it will help for when I start CBT proper in March, will try and do a module a day. Feeling really tired now so think I will go for a sleep.

Thanks

Ben

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/31/2009 6:47 AM (GMT -7)   

Morning my Dear Friend.............

I rated in the high range on both areas too but I was not surprised.................. you are never alone and I am glad you started to work the online CBT, it will help you get through  until you get back home.

Gentle Hugs to you Ben,

Kitt


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6488
   Posted 1/31/2009 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Nikki

Thank you for your reply and im sorry to here you are having similar problems at the moment if I can be of any help let me know. The nightmare thing is horrible and means the only time I do sleep is a restless sleep, the nightmares are so real, I have had problems with nightmares for years and do think its linked to my anxiety. You are right I think we both need to concentrate on our CBT and we can get through this together.

Thanks so much for your reply Nikki it really does mean a lot to me that I have your support and know that I am here for you also.

Ben
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, December 05, 2016 11:02 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,733,364 posts in 301,110 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151248 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Lippu.
254 Guest(s), 9 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
MDNative, 0311, msOuchie, Hungrydude, roisin86, Mokes, noah600, (Seashell), julymorning


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer