Going To New Doc Tomorrow And Dealing With Anxiety Issues

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Green Grove
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/5/2009 9:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello!
 
Since many are experiencing some anxiety about posting with their problems to our A/P Peer Support Group, I thought I would start out with one of my major malfunctions, lol :)  I'm definitely not shy about asking for help or saying what I feel as you all well know. . . I love and respect all the great advice I get here from my family and would not be the man I am today without you all!
 
Tomorrow (Friday) I am seeing a new doctor and am feeling pretty anxious about it.  I know part of the anxiety is caused by just the excitement of the new possiblilities that this professional may bring into my life. . . But another part of it is my agoraphobia setting in.  You know how it goes. . . You get into the new place and have to sit there and write down your entire medical history. . . There are tons of sick people around you, and then getting to meet the new doc and nurses that try to make you feel comfortable, but you are still stuck in a tiny room for at least 30 minutes after waiting a couple of hours in the main reception area :)  I am nervous and really trying to stay in the moment right now. . .  I was raised in a very small country community that sported several "old fashioned" docs when I was younger that were very informal and just wonderful men that I admire still.  These docs are now retired or gone from us now and the newer medical graduates make me feel weird.  I've been searching for many years for the right fit, and now I have had to settle for what I consider "second best."  As a nurse I'm not completely ignorant of how things run and the kickbacks that many physicians receive from the pharmaceutical companies for prescribing the newer drugs out there, so I am scared that I am going to be cornered a bit on taking stuff that I don't want, because I've been the guinea pig for many pharmaceuticals over the years with not so good results.  I am very proactive with my health and research the meds suggested now after some bad experiences, but that does not go over too well with the docs at times.  I think I make them feel inadequate in their capacity as my caregiver and that does not build a very good working relationship. . .  Maybe I'm just crazy and too independent. . . I'm afraid that I'll never find a physician that lives up to my standards and at this point in my life that is becoming an option that I don't want, but then again I'm not going to let anyone on this earth tell me to do something that I know is dangerous for my well being.
 
Am I crazy about the way I feel, or do you all think I'm out of line and I should leave it to those that have more education than I do?  Am I too demanding and expecting too much of a "fairytale" that does not exist?  Am I an overbearing person that puts others ill at ease?  Please don't worry about hurting my feelings in answering this, because my BEST friends don't sugar coat anything and tell me like it is. . . I would be more hurt by someone I consider a friend that didn't feel like they could just speak to me honestly from their hearts.  I'm just a simple man that deals with many issues like all of you great people.
 
Anyway, I've bumped my benzos to make sure I can take one at least two hours before I go in for my appt. since the peak plasma level is usually about that amount of time.  I will also be taking my portable CD walkman with me to listen to Lucinda's soothing voice on my relaxation disc :)  I'll also take a book with me so I can tune out the many voices of the other patients. . . Might be cool though, because in our small burg a lot of us are either related or friends, so I might run into a kindred spirit tomorrow and start gabbing away like I usually do which makes the time fly :)
 
Love you all and thank you for spending your valuable time by reading this :)
 
 
 
 


Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Today is the perfect day to set the wheels in motion for your recovery."
~J. Samuel Tipton~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 

Post Edited (Green Grove) : 2/5/2009 9:31:04 PM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40599
   Posted 2/5/2009 9:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello back,

First of all I would say to RELAX. Do you meditate? Maybe a little meditation before you go would help. Try to be optimistic about the whole thing. You might find some wonderful caring people where you are going. I honestly think you are overthinking it right now. Take it as it comes and stay in the moment. But when talking to the doctor, speak clearly and slowly. Carry a list of everything that you want to ask them. And make sure that you ask everything. Write down the answers, because it is easy to forget what they said, even if you don't think that you will.

I hope that this helps some. I feel like I took a test... How did I do? lol...

Best wishes and I hope that your appointment goes well.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/5/2009 9:46 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you so much Karen for your support :)  I always love your advice and you are a straight shooter which I really respect :)  I know your right and I am overthinking this too much as an anxious person tends to do, lol.  I will take your advice and do my meditations tomorrow a few times and the whole thing with the notebook is great as well. . . I used to keep it all the stuff in my head, but I'm getting a wee bit older now and my memory is not as sharp.  I think that this will be a great way to be more of my own advocate :)

You are the best!

Hugs from your bro Sam :)


gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 2/6/2009 3:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sam,

I was just wondering why you can't move your existing files to your new doctors sergery...I know it is allowed here in australia. It is actully advised that if you change your doctor your files are to follow. Atleast then you wont have to go through all the history and the doc can see what has and hasn't worked in the past. I believe your feelings are justified as I too get VERY anxious when I am sent to or changing doctors!! I hate being judged and labled which is usually what happens, especially these days as appointment times are short and patient loads large for the doctors. I totally agree with Karen I think u need a list of questions and important issues for yourself to bring up. If u are like me you get in there and loose everything u were in there for in the first place and come out even more confused and usually with 5 new perscriptions!!! Take it easy!! Call me psyhic if you like but...I know you will fine and find all the support, comfort and answers from this new doctor! This is just an idea but...maybe this time put your guard down just a lttle to see what happens. If only for the first appointment so you can develop a trusting relationship with your doc without the possibility of intimadating him in your first consult. If he dosn't pass the test well?? STICK IT TO HIM next visit and take control. Put your guard down and anxiety aside...dont even take it with you...Put it in the cupboard before you leave and trust the doc. P.S I admire your courage and commitment to bettering your health and taking charge of certian situations! It is a great and powerfull quality to have!!
 
Let me know how it all goes.
Gillxx


 

"Define the moment or....the moment will define you!"

xox

 


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 2/6/2009 7:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Just wanted to say good luck on your appointment today, hope all goes well!!
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

paniccu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1009
   Posted 2/6/2009 7:58 AM (GMT -7)   
No advice, just hope everything goes well for you! Bring something interesting to read while you're waiting to make the time go by faster. I'm just wondering, what country are you in that you are expected to wait for a couple of hours in the waiting room and then an additional half hour or so in the examining room? That would not be ok with me, that's a waste of a big portion of your day! In NY I do wait for maybe an hour total, but most times I don't have to wait even that long. I don't go back to doctors that make me wait for longer than that. I know things can come up at a doctors office, but geez, two or three hours to wait on average?

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/6/2009 11:32 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you all so much for your support :)  I just finished my immediate chores and got all my paperwork together for renewing my license (which I let expire on my bday. . . whooops!:) and my meds and supplements are in grocery bag ready to go. . . Along with my book and CD player, etc. lol. . .

Gilly, here in America they usually just transfer the files over from one place to another, but many of mine have been lost over the years with our strange medical system where I live.  Crazy and I wish that we could keep our own files, but it is a hassle to get them because of legal issues.  Thank you so much Nanners for your support :)  It means so much to me right now when I'm anxious my friend.  Paniccu, I live in Missouri and in such a small area that patients just pile up keeping the doctors overworked here.  It does take a good chunk of the day but I feel very lucky to have found on in my hometown so I don't have to drive a long ways :)  Lil Nikki, we are so much alike that I just laugh sometimes. . . If we were the same age I would swear we were twins, lol. . . I have all my stuff packed for my five minute trip into town, lol :)  Don't leave home without my distractions for when I need it :)

You all are the best with all the support, well wishes and great advice :)  I feel so much more confident now because of you all and since I'm not so tired now and having some anticipatory anxiety.  I am going to go in there smiling and just tell the doc how I feel and that I'm ready for a slow benzo withdrawl when we are sure I'll be fine with it :)  I'm already cut back from .5mg 4 times daily to .5mg 3 times daily and feel great!  I also hope I can get a mild script of something to help with my pain in my ribs and hip to take every so often when I flare. . . Well I'm going to answer a few more posts and then get on my way :)  I'll let you all know how it turned out :)

Love from your bro Sam :)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/6/2009 5:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Sam your right, we only get copies of our medical records not the original records as they belong to the clinic and to the hospitals.

OK so now I am waiting with bated breath...........how did it go for you today?  If is 6:00 PM and I am in your time zone so  I will be looking for you post.

Hugs
Kitt.


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/6/2009 5:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Lil Sis and All :)
 
I just had another novel written and my webpage glitched and shut down, lol.  Well, my doctor's appointment today could not have been better.  I went in really happy after doing some "anti-anxiety" shopping for next Christmas at the Dollar Shop, and my cousin that is having a little girl in May was there and we talked, then the doctor's nurse and I had a good chat as well.  The doc came in and a really nice lady that is going to work with me on my choice to get off of the benzos slowly.  She will help me cut back when I feel that I'm ready and wants me to always have some on hand as needed too because of my family history of anxiety.  The doc will also give me Buspar if I want something that was not habit forming :)  All checked out fine with my asthma and still have a ProAir for emergencies, then my BP was 111/72 which was a great suprise and reward for my healthier choices :)
 
Thank you all for being there for me because I'm not sure I would be doing as well as I am without the support and great advice :)
 
Your Bro Sam :)

melodee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 800
   Posted 2/7/2009 3:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Sam!
 
I actually wrote a pretty long reply to this post of yours, but by the time I clicked the preview button, you had already had some great replies from your friends, I decided to cancel it. LOL  blush  In reply to your post, "I'm afraid that I'll never find a physician that lives up to my standards"  I wrote that we are much alike as perfectionists, we can't do things half-heartedly, and for that reason, we expect others to do the same. Setting  high standards for ourselves or others isn't very healthy. And doctors are human too after all, just like we are, so don't let anything disappoint you. :)
 
I am so happy for you that the doctor's appointment went so well and it sounds like you found a great doctor! I am so proud of you that you were able to handle everything so well!  yeah Congrats SAM!!  yeah   
 
Love Melodee

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/7/2009 2:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melodee :)

You don't have to delete something you wrote, because you are a part of our family too! But don't feel bad cause I do the same thing too, lol :) You are right about setting high standards/expectations. . . It is unhealthy and something that I've had to personally work with in my therapy. The thing is, I don't really expect a doctor to be perfect, but I'm just missing the old fashioned ones :) I guess I better get over it because we all grow older and things/people change :)

Thank you so much for writing me and the compliments my friend :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Today is the perfect day to set the wheels in motion for your recovery."
~J. Samuel Tipton~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


melodee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 800
   Posted 2/7/2009 3:20 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Sam,

Green Grove said...
Hi Melodee :)

You don't have to delete something you wrote, because you are a part of our family too! But don't feel bad cause I do the same thing too, lol :) You are right about setting high standards/expectations. . . It is unhealthy and something that I've had to personally work with in my therapy. The thing is, I don't really expect a doctor to be perfect, but I'm just missing the old fashioned ones :) I guess I better get over it because we all grow older and things/people change :)

Thank you so much for writing me and the compliments my friend :)

LOL, you do the same thing too? LOL! smilewinkgrin
Sam, I just wanted to let you know that your great personality shines thru in your writings and you are the kind of person that brightens up the room when you walk in. You're a special person, my friend. Stay positive and believe in your strength!
 
Love Melodee

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/7/2009 3:27 PM (GMT -7)   

Awwww :)  You are too kind!

I feel the same way about you and others on here as well :)  I think everyone has such a glowing personality and sometimes wonder if our anxiety isn't a part of the whole package deal, lol.  It is well worth it in my opinion just for the simple thing of helping bring joy to others lives :)

Take care and I will remember to stay positive and believe in my strength. . . Thanks for reminding me cause I need that right now :)

Love from your bro Sam :)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/7/2009 3:37 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Bro,

Whooooooo hoooooooooo, that is awesome.  I knew you would do well.  Remember I weaned off the Ativan switching to Valium and it took me about 9 months however I still have the 2 mg tabs of Valium to use 1-2 per day.

You have done well my friend.  I am proud of you.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

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Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
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Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/7/2009 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you Lil Sis :)

I am really happy to have just found a doc that will work with me and how comfortable I feel.  I think I threw her for a loop when I made the appt. to get help weaning off of the benzos instead of the other way around :)  Hopefully this will prove that I'm being responsible in my records now, cause who knows what that nurse put in them. . . My doctor told me it would be better to cut down anyway because as I grow older I may need more and I won't be immune to the effects as much :)  I do feel like you do though and would like to have some around to take as needed.  I am slowly working to that point and I think that cutting even .5 mg after having the same dose for around 7 years is a huge step in the right direction :)

Thanks for the compliments. . . I'm proud of you too for taking on all that you are doing now and succeeding as well!

Hugs from your Bro :)

Sam :)

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