Feeling paranoid

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Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2147
   Posted 2/8/2009 8:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi All

I have been hit by bad paranoia feel like every one around me is talking about me behind my back and the racing thoughts in my head are getting the better of me, is paranoia associated with anxiety? It really is a horrible feeling and I have had problems in the past which seem to come and go and seems to be worse when I am not sleeping well. My sleep had got a bit better but over the last few weeks its got really bad again maybe getting two hours a night and I have been getting really bad nightmares every night. I seem to be really anxious about what is going to happen in my life over the next year as some of you know I am not happy in my job and want to find a new one but worried due to the current climate that jobs are going to be hard to find and getting depressed at the thought off going back to work at the end of March. I have so much stuff running through my head at the moment that is causing me anxiety and then I crash into depression and I cant seem to break the cycle, I have been doing moodgym but struggle to put the techniques into practice. I think my anxiety's have had so long to get into my way of thinking that im starting to think I will always have these feelings every time I make some progress I always seem to fall back into the cycles of anxiety and depression and still struggle to accept that I have GAD and problems with depression and just want to be normal, these feelings are ruining my life and I am not achieving the goals I have set for myself. This is a negative post but it is the way im feeling at the moment. shakehead

racer x
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 2/8/2009 11:42 PM (GMT -6)   
paranoia, unfortunately yes it runs right along with anx. my mom has and always will have the hugest inferiority complex and was institutionalised many yrs ago, i fight it every day, sometimes i think people are always looking at me or talking about me, wich brings on alot of self consiousness and panic sometimes, but i have learned through modern medicine friends and family counsling and other docs that i can handle it, i have to,to live a productive life you have to look ahead think of how you want to live concentrate on something you really like to do, dont hide, i did that for a long time and found out  that some people were asking about me in a concerned way, wanted to see me and talk to me,i still greatly dislike crowded rooms or bunches of people, but think of what you are missing out on , parades, fourth of july all kinds of things like birthdays and commemorative occasions where friends and family might be.
ive realised that the more you hide the faster some people may forget about you, dont be that person , sek help.  hugs to everyone who ever cared about me here i love u alll racer x.

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14994
   Posted 2/9/2009 9:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Ben I am so sorry that you are having such a tough time right now. I like Nikki, would like to know if you are on any meds? If not, then I think they are called for. Like Nikki said they will help to calm your mind down so you can start focusing on your CBT. Please never feel you are a burden, because you arent, we are always here for you.

Gentle Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32585
   Posted 2/9/2009 9:50 AM (GMT -6)   

Ben,

Hey my friend, you are allowed to post your feelings.........that was not a negative post but to me a post asking for help and that is what we are here for.

I know you work very hard at trying to be in the positive and I wish you could get back home sooner as I really feel so strongly that you need to see your own physician.

You are very unhappy away from home and it feels to me this is dumping you over into a deeper place then you want to be.

Usually, paranoid thoughts have been thought of as a symptom of severe mental illnesses however some professionals believe that 40 percent of the general population experience paranoid thoughts.  You are not going "crazy"  IMHO you need to keep on working with the CBT and seek out your physician ASAP.

Please do me a favor and do not isolate yourself from others for the rest of your stay, even if your feeling down force yourself to be with people, people that make you feel good.

Hugs to you
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

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Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2147
   Posted 2/9/2009 10:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi

Thanks for your responses to my post I really do hate being down about things and try my best to stay positive and try to reply to peoples posts rather than post about my own problems. I have had these problems with paranoia on and off for years now and get all sorts of paranoid thoughts and find it hard to be around people when I feel like this but do take your point Kitt about not isolating myself from others and will do my best, I do have some good friends here but don't talk to them about my paranoia in fact you guys are the first people I have told apart from my pdoc. Nanners and Nikki I take Tamazepam which is a benzo to help me sleep and have spoken to doctor about going on valium or similar but told that he would not give me them due to my history of drug abuse. I seem to let things get on top of me and need to learn how to deal with things better.

Thanks Guys

Ben

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/9/2009 2:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Ben,

I agree with Kitt and don't feel that this is a negative post, because you are just saying how you feel and seeking advice which is what a peer support group is all about my friend :) I also hope that you get home soon to see your doc about how you are feeling. Everything I have read about CBT, it is natural to have some resistance at first, because it takes time to reprogram our brains to think in a better way. It is the positive experiences that build up over time that we carry with us that makes this treatment so effective :)

I do not think you are crazy at all. I also feel like this so much and like Kitt said, medical science is making leaps and bounds on learning how we all "work" and are now seeing that many people go through these issues and are not mentally ill. . . We are only just human :)

Please go out and have some fun with others while you are on holiday and enjoy it to the fullest. . . Don't feel pressured by anyone to to anything that you don't want to do, because you are there to have a good time doing what you want. . . It's your holiday after all :)

Take care and you are in my prayers!
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Today is the perfect day to set the wheels in motion for your recovery."
~J. Samuel Tipton~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


racer x
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 2/9/2009 3:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Ben i know you can do it have faith in yourself

Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2147
   Posted 2/10/2009 6:01 AM (GMT -6)   
Nikki

Thank you for your support it means a lot to me. Feeling exhausted today after yet another night with no sleep.

Ben

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/10/2009 8:25 AM (GMT -6)   

........My sweet Friend

I am so bloody sorry you are going thru this cry

YOU are not going crazy hun nono

IF you were you would NOT know it anyways so they say.......I have the bouts of paranoia and the racing thoughts but for me I am on a med that STOPS all these especially at night so I can sleep and sleep w/o these dang things running thru my head...........

You are never alone here and you are well aare of that my friend

Come and tell us anything you need too .....no judgement at all ......YOU are an asset to ths forum IMHO

........Luvs.......your Canuck Good Luck Charm smilewinkgrin

Keep us posted plz on how you are doing  okay


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2147
   Posted 2/10/2009 2:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Lyn

Thank you for your support, im not feeling in a good way but will pull through.

Ben

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 2/10/2009 2:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Ssssuuuppp, Ben?? I only have a few things to bring up. Others have posted great things to help you!

I was wondering if you've been drinking lately? Remember that makes your anxiety worse.

Do you have to be away on this trip? If you are miserable, I would suggest going home until things are under control. Once you learn ways to cope and you're on a medication that works, you will be able to do these trips with no problems.

Also, ask yourself, "so what if people are talking about me? It doesn't matter." More than likely no one is discussing you. But tell yourself it doesn't matter because it really doesn't.

Good luck with this setback! Let us know how you deal with it and how you're doing! Carol
Anxiety Disorder/Mitral Valve Prolapse
 
Prozac and Carvedilol


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2147
   Posted 2/10/2009 3:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Aries

Thank you, yes I have been drinking heavily drink seems to be creeping back into my life. I am enjoying my skiing as it is taking my mind off things but this is only a short term fix before all my anxiety/depression comes back, I am not looking forward to going home as I am not happy at my place of work. I sometimes wish I could turn back time and do things differently but I cant, I hate feeling this way all the time and know that it is up to may to change things. I have so many goals and feel that I wont achieve them due to my anxiety/depression holding me back, I want to be able to go out with friends and not feel the need to drink to combat my anxiety. I am getting hacked off that the medications don't seem to help me and wondering why? I have been doing moodgym but finding it difficult to understand on my own I think I need a professional to talk me through it which as I have said is planned for when I get back. I am starting to wonder if I may have other mental problems which have not yet been diagnosed, as I said feeling very paranoid at the moment and finding it hard to relate to people which I find upsetting. I really do hate to vent but I find it difficult to express how I am feeling to my friends and family and really appreciate you guys listening. I have lived with these feelings for so long now that I don't no what it feels like not to have these feeling if that makes sense can anyone relate to that?

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 2/11/2009 1:18 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm sorry, but I just don't understand why you are drinking alcohol. Maybe it's easy for me to sit here and think, "why does he put himself through this? He knows the alcohol makes things worse."

It just seems so simple. Either don't go out with your friends who drink or go out with them and drink soda. It may be difficult if you have a drinking problem. That may be something you may want to consider.

A happy, healthy life is within your reach. You need to make some changes, as you mentioned in your post. You said you have goals. Write them down in your journal. And remember, you won't achieve them in this lifetime as you stated, if you keep making the wrong choices.

I would suggest looking for another job when you get back home. Keep your present job, obviously, but you can look for another which will lift your spirits. At least you'll know you're doing something to move toward your goals.

I am a lot older than you. I know from experience that nothing is going to happen unless you make it happen. Time is being wasted sitting around knowing what you need to be doing but you're not making the effort. Start today!
Anxiety Disorder/Mitral Valve Prolapse
 
Prozac and Carvedilol


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2147
   Posted 2/11/2009 1:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Aries

Thanks for the reply. I have an addiction problem and have suffered with alcohol and drug addictions for many years when things are not going well i seem to turn to alcohol I wish it was as easy as you say to stop but i find it really hard to stop and can not go to a bar and not drink. This is something I need to look at and sort out and I know this is up to me.
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