Post Edited (Green Grove) : 2/11/2009 1:20:42 PM (GMT-7)
Dear Sam I Am...
Well it is about time you got this posted. Remember we are family and you do not have to carry any burden alone.
Your unkind relatives are people you do not need to have in your life so remember just because they are in the family does not mean you have to subject yourself to their opinions or coments.
You are with your Grandmother becuase you love her and that is the right reason to be where you are today.
Someday the money grubbers will be back wanting the bucks they think is theirs but as you have worked off the cost of your share of owning the farm and you are maintaining it, tell them to hit the road.
I went through this same garbage when my oldest sister died on Thanksgiving Day in 2007. The money grubbers drove to the hospital to see her and then left as they had turkey to eat and football to watch. My sister Beverly and I were with My oldest sister when she died that day. The Doctors had even told the rest of the family she would not make it through the day, but the comments were " Well there is nothing we can do sitting here, she doe not know we are here anyhow."
They got all the money and have been spending it on booze, drugs, trips..............etc. All I took was the ring she was wearing............... They were going through her stuff before she was even buried. These people mean nothing to me anymore and even having to say hello to them is hard for me.
I learned thow, my dear Sam, I learned that there are truly selfish people in this world and I am glad I am not one of them. You are a kind and caring person but please take care of you.................do not dwell of the behavior of these relatives as it will poison your mind.
Remember that anger is not wrong as it is a normal human emotion. We are born with the ability to feel anger.
There are times when we should get angry and stand up for our rights or the rights of others who cannot do it for themselves. This is what you have done for your Grandma.
Know your limitations Sam and give yourself some space.
You have my support and prayers to help you get through this tough time.
i wish you and your grandmother the best of luck! i am very sorry to hear about the rest of your family not being there to help, i can completely relate. i am in a similar situation with my dad, as i am an only child and my family lives very far away. i think it's wonderful that you have a kind heart and are compassionate enough to care for your grandmother and take on that responsibility, i know it can be very stressful and extremely exhausting at times. just know your family is all here for you on this forum, and we will support you in any way we can, but please don't let your therapy slide, because in order for you to be the best caretaker you can be, you have to be feeling the best you can.....
Good Morning Sam,
I am going to amend Garen's comment to "listen to all of the member's who support and care deeply for you here in the HealingWell Family"
I am so sorry you are going thru so much right now. You have every right to post your rant, my friend. You can't keep it all in, the stress will eat you up alive. You know Sam, it seems that we have so much in common, because not only are we both perfectionists, but also we took on the role of a caregiver. It's very challenging and can cause physical exhaustion and emotional strain for months....or years. It took me at least 4 years to completely recuperate from the stress caused by caregiving, but now that I look back, I believe I did a great thing for a family member, and I am really proud of it. I am glad that I was able to give something back in return to the person, because like your grandma, she had sacrificed her whole life for the family. I know the feeling of wanting to run away. No, it is not immature. Don't be so hard on yourself, Sam. You are a strong man, with a great heart and soul, you should be very proud of yourself for being who you are and what you have accomplished so far. :)
As a caregiver, and being under all that stress, you will need to take a break once in a while. Can you leave the house for a few hours and meet and talk with a friend during the daytime? What are your interests and hobbies? Can you focus on something you like for one or two hours a day, and then return to your caregiving duties? Give yourself 1-2 hours a day or even more to relax and set your mind free from your worries. That is the only way you can survive as a caregiver. I did that, too. I found ways to distract myself. Take some time to recharge your battery. It will not only give you peace of mind, it will help you feel good about yourself. :)
You're a great man, Sam. Be proud of who you are.
Love, your friend, Melodee :)
Anxiety 2007; IBS 2004; Chronic Hives 2002. Medications: Allegra, Zantac, Xanax, Darvocet.
Sam i think you are amazing for taking on full care of your grandmother- what a selfless, kind person you are. screw the family members who dont provide support- you dont need negativity in your life. Honestly i really admire you for doing what you have done.
Take care mate,
Hey Bro Sam,
I am glad you found comfort in our words, together we can move mountains.
Tomorrow we chat.