Friday's Roll Call 02/13/09

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stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/13/2009 6:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning Family............Happy Friday the 13th.......I wish you tons of good luck today. devil
 
Today's Question:

Are you trying to manage guilt, so guilt does not manage you ? 

idea

Kitt

 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 2/13/2009 9:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Kitt,
 
I have come to realize that guilt is a wasted emotion.  It just drains us.  I use to feel guilty for everything.  And my family was good at putting me on guilt trips.  But eventually I learned that it was just driving me down to the ground and I finally learned that it wasn't what I needed.  So now I don't have the guilt trips anymore.
 
Family seems to be the ones to put you on the guilt wagon.  And I guess since mine is mostly gone, that took care of that problem.  Now I can see it for what it is.  A wasted emotion that sucks all of the energy out of a person.
 
I hope that this is what you wanted to hear.  I am in a fog today.  Fibromyalgia.  I just thought that this was a good topic.
 
Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 2/13/2009 10:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Those are some good words, getting by... Seems like even without my family around, I still get to feeling guilty, though. It's like my life has been nothing but one big guilt trip... //@.@\\'... And I've never even done anything really wrong... I'm a good person. I know I'm a good person...

:|... I mean... man... I feel guilty over silly things... Like.... just the other day, my new roommate had made milkshakes and offered me one.... I told her that it was very nice of her, but that I can't have milkshakes because of my "digestive problems"... She was very shocked and very sad for me... And it just made me feel so guilty for putting that sad look on her face...

I've tried a lot of things to try and get me from feeling like such a guilty person... I give myself pep talks... I try to distract myself from the guilty feelings...

I just don't know what else to do. :|... Maybe guilt is just a part of my personality? I don't know.
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 2/13/2009 11:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Celey,

I use to be so bad, it wasn't funny. I was working at a bakery and on my day off, somebody did something wrong. I still found a way to feel guilty about it. Then you have to get used to being happy. I feel guilty for being happy sometimes. So it is something that it takes a while to get over. So don't beat yourself up over it. Did your friend have to drink two shakes? lol...

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/13/2009 11:50 AM (GMT -7)   
This is a great question and the first thing I read was from Karen and I agree with her 100%. Guilt is definitely a wasted emotion and draining. . . I used to feel guilty all the time and was made to by family/friends. Lately I've been better with this and have learned to just let it go and quit saying "I'm Sorry" all of the time. I will apologize when needed because of something I need to say it for and that is about it. . .
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Although the world is full of suffering. . . it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/13/2009 12:02 PM (GMT -7)   

Great responses.  :-)

I get caught in the guilt trap, especially when someone asks or tells me what to do and I try to be assertive and say no.  I will feel sad and even cry that I am being put on the spot by people who claim to love me and yet I feel taken advantage of if I say yes and I do not really want to accomodate the request.   I know guilt is a wasted emotion but it is tied to my upbringing  and I don't want to hurt anyone by saying no. Also maybe they won't like me anymore if I say no..............

Now there is some real "stinkin thinkin".

A friend of mine adviced me the other day to answer with " Let me think about that and I will get back to you" when requested to do something.  That works as long as they ask and don't tell you...................

I get hit by the "We are going to need you to do this" redface

I need to keep practicing say no and not feeling guilty.

Kitt


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/13/2009 12:08 PM (GMT -7)   

You are so right about the assertiveness Kitt :)  I also have issues with this and not feeling guilty. . . I guess there is so many ways to feel guilt that it is no wonder many of us are in a destructive cycle of emotions.  Thank God for therapy!

Your Bro Sam :)


gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 2/13/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -7)   
I have so much guilt I choke on it...I am slowly forgiving myself for being unwell and turning my familiy and friends lives upsde down, the bottem line in my way of thinking it is all my fault. Even if the sun dosn't shine, I can make that my fault too....So yes, I guess I have guilt and am trying to rid myself of it with theropy! gillxx

 

"Define the moment or....the moment will define you!"

xox

 


Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 2/13/2009 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Assertiveness can be a problem for me, too.... I mean, you wouldn't think so... Since I love doing things like getting up in front of an audience... being a total goof... etc. etc....

But if I get confronted about something... or have to confront someone... Or if I'm in a group and we're trying to make decisions (I think when I was a kid I might have had some assertiveness, but I guess everything that's happened in my life has squashed that)... I guess I'm afraid of hurting people's feelings... or making someone angry with me...

And Green Grove, you also mentioned saying 'Sorry' all the time.... I do that, too! It's awful! I say sorry for every little thing...

But then... maybe that's just me being extra polite.... I mean.... I'll even say 'Excuse me' when I'm going around a bug on the sidewalk...

And I also feel horribly guilty if I kill a bug...
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 2/13/2009 7:08 PM (GMT -7)   

i only feel guilty if i have let someone down, whether its colleagues or family and friends.. i dont carry guilt around with me, i carry resentment, which in many ways is worse.

Maz XX


            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Phenergan.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.
 
 

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