I get caught in the guilt trap, especially when someone asks or tells me what to do and I try to be assertive and say no. I will feel sad and even cry that I am being put on the spot by people who claim to love me and yet I feel taken advantage of if I say yes and I do not really want to accomodate the request. I know guilt is a wasted emotion but it is tied to my upbringing and I don't want to hurt anyone by saying no. Also maybe they won't like me anymore if I say no..............
Now there is some real "stinkin thinkin".
A friend of mine adviced me the other day to answer with " Let me think about that and I will get back to you" when requested to do something. That works as long as they ask and don't tell you...................
I get hit by the "We are going to need you to do this"
I need to keep practicing say no and not feeling guilty.
You are so right about the assertiveness Kitt :) I also have issues with this and not feeling guilty. . . I guess there is so many ways to feel guilt that it is no wonder many of us are in a destructive cycle of emotions. Thank God for therapy!
Your Bro Sam :)
"Define the moment or....the moment will define you!"
i only feel guilty if i have let someone down, whether its colleagues or family and friends.. i dont carry guilt around with me, i carry resentment, which in many ways is worse.