Anxiety Back after Breakup/Love Lost! Help!

Hey guys, I've been suffering with panic/anxiety for over 6 years.

I am having a horrible time because of this.

I am so sorry you are feeling crushed but I feel that perhaps you need to see a therapist that can help you through this or see your medical physician to get a good check up and make sure you are not having any medical problems that may be causing you to feel so awful.

We are not professionals and can not tell you if you have an Anxiety disorder or if your just reacting to  an isolated event.

I wish you peace.

Kitt

Kitt - Oh, don't worry. Thankfully, I go to a wonderful therapist who's also a doctor and I see her every tuesday. I'm medicated, and I've been diagnosed with anxiety/panic when I was 16 after experimenting (edit word)
I've been doing REALLY well, specially last year after the break-up. However, I've always mantained my therapy, so I do have medical help.

I also take meds, although I'm on a VERY VERY low dose. 1/2 of a 25 mg zolofot a day and alprazolan only for when I have any big anxiety attack.

The thing is, I want to find the route of my anxiety. Do I love my ex THIS much and this is causing my anxiety, or am I going through such an emotional/anxious time that makes me belive I love him so much because he is my safety?

It's these moments that make me wish I was just a "normal" person and not an obssessive anxious one... I feel like I will NEVER be able to forgive myself for letting my bf go, and NEVER find someone so good and perfect as he is.

This crushes me. I think I'm depressed but I don't want to take more meds. I was basically going off them! =[

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 3/5/2009 12:46:16 PM (GMT-7)

I feel like my therapist think I'm going to get better and this is just common heartbreak, but I come here because I know we know better than doctors how anxious and horrible we all feel.

The thing is, my therapist advised me to dump my BF last year (and everyone else I know apart from my dad), because I wasn't happy and in love. However, now that I look back, it was superficial and stupid to dump such a perfect person because I didn't feel like sleeping with him or was attracted to other people. It was so childish! It mattered so much more how great of man he was and how much he loved me and was there for me. I didn't see thing like this back then though and now it's too late!!!

Marcela,

I am glad you have a therapist but in the end your right, you need to make your own decisions and all the advise in the world has to be sorted out and then you have to do what you feel is best for you.

There are two kinds of worry...........

Productive worry is thinking on situations you can control, and you should use productive worry to take actions that reduce stress and relieve anxiety.

Unproductive worry is thinking about things you cannot control."

Which one of these do you feel you anxiety falls under in this case?

Hugs

Kitt

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Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums
^{*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*}
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Hey there

I know for one that when I stay out until 4, 5, 6 am (probably out drinking) I feel horrible the next day or even a few hours later when I am home. It is funny what a lack of sleep does to you and I feel that might be part of what is getting you anxious.

Geez going thru break ups is terrible I had a girlfriend for about 2 years come to find out she was cheating on me. Still being heads over heels for this girl I decided to stay with her because she wanted to work it out. Then 4 weeks later she decides she wants to be with the a hole who she cheated on me with. I was devestated for a long time and didnt even think about dating for quite some time. I went to bed at night with pain in my stomach and chest and woke up usually in worse shape. I mean she was my first love, and there is no replacing that right? No. Usually the first love in a lifetime has more to do with comfort than anything else really. You are comfortable ane even really happy- but love is a funny thing. You pick the qualities from your relationships that you want to see in another relationship- and eventually you find that someone. I am not saying he isnt your true love but if you have only loved once it will take a while to get around that. But when you do, your world will start to turn itself around.

Your body is very fragile when you are stressed and filled with anxiety. Start doing things that are good for your body- work out, eat right, dont stay out until 5 am- rather try and get some sleep say around 2 am. Sometimes those extra few hours of staying up really kills me and I have to recover for almost a week.

Good luck and I hope you might find something of worth in this response.

Alcohol, tobacco, other drugs, caffinated drinks, and even too much sugar triggers my anxiety sometimes. So I usually try and stay away from all of those things and when I do I just do so in moderation... very moderate compared to my old lifestyle- you know the whole college invincible thing.

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Hi I am new to the forum but just wanna reply to Brazil girl and say panic after a breakup is perfectly normal. I had my first ever panic attack after i broke up with my boyfriend after 7 years.I had never had panic before but it seemed to set it off.  I was the one who finished with him and its now 2 years on and i know i did the right thing as although i loved him as a freind we weren't in love. I had several panic attacks after that and it did make me think maybe i had made the wrong decision but they went away on their own after a few months.

I believe you have to let go and try to get on with your life
I know it hurts so much but now is the time to move forward
We cannot keep trying to fix things or worry
about others all the time
It will keep your angst at the top IMHO

I do wish you all the best as I said I know it is hard
Lyn

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                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..

              ^{CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns}                    

                            ^{Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose}

               ^{Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest}

  ^{We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us}         

Brazil Girl,
I also had panic attacks triggered by relationship issues. I think that's pretty common. Also, falling asleep when you are still extremely stressed tends to cause those scary nightime panic attacks. I know the feeling you are talking about, very disconnected, a little out of it, in a dream-like state. Very scary.

The important thing now is to try to control your thoughts. It's easy to sit and dwell on your ex, and what he might be doing. But I'm sure you create scenarios in your mind and are far from reality. Try instead to focus your thoughts on yourself and your life. Spend time with friends or do other things that will keep your mind occupied. It will take time, but you will get through this.

Best Wishes,
Roger

I have to say this is very similar to what ive been going through. I never had problems with anxiety before my exgirlfriend. I think it was all due to the stress of our relationship. We had a few great months before she went off to college about 8 hours away which caused all sorts of problems. Everything was great between us except the distance anytime we were together it was amazing. She was my first love and my first lover if u catch my drift. I dont think I realized that it was her that caused me such stress until i really examined my feelings. We broke up in feb. and i still cant seem to get over her either. I know that I will find someone new, but I cant help but feel like I want her back. Though every time I think about her I feel anxious now. So brazilgirl i understand where your coming from its so easy for people to tell you to just get over it. I think though that since the relationship was something that grew to be normal in our lives that losing it causes us to become more anxious. I was seeing a couple girls recently and while I was I didnt feel as anxious and thoughts of my ex seemed to die down. I dont know if I will ever be completely over her but I know that holding on to something is only going to make me go into panic mode.

I just recently broke up with a man who claimed to love me and found out he was married in another state and carrying on two lives. He even talked about getting married. This has caused me a great deal of pain and anxiety. I keep perseverating about how the entire time we've been together was all about lies. He is 47 and I thought men my age were better behaved. I left my marriage of 18 years over a year ago. This anxiety thing is new to me and am doing my best to deal with it and move on. It's encouraging to see others of you have gone through this and have risen above it. I have enjoyed reading all of the advice.

A breakup is a beginning as well as an end. Take the opportunity to explore new interests and activities. Pursuing fun, new activities gives you a chance to enjoy life in the here-and-now, rather than dwelling on the past. It doesn't take wads of money to smooth over a breakup. In reality, surviving a breakup doesn't have to cost much at all, if you use these recommendations.

Links removed...possible SPAM

Post Edited By Moderator (Scaredy Cat) : 4/29/2013 8:19:43 AM (GMT-6)

Brazilgirl, the most important thing on your agenda should be your health, both mental and physical.
You be the best you possible, if theres a chance for a future with him if will come easier if you are not
a basket case, there's something to be said for being a little hard to get, in both your cases there is
deliberate pain that you have inflicted on each other. Its time to put your life in order Love will take
care of its self. At 21 you both have a life time to find each other again.
Young Love reminds me of a story about a little dog that was sitting on a stack of hay, every time the
cows came to eat he would chase them away. He couldn't eat the hay but didnt want the cows to either.
Be at Peace!
Larry ***