Work Issue (Again) Making Me Very Anxious

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Georgie Girl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 319
   Posted 2/15/2009 10:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I have a highly stressful job (I think) as the human resources officer for an Air Force installation.  I screwed somethign up this week having to do with our commander's hire of a secretary.  A commander is like a CEO.  I ran over on Friday to tell him about it so that I didn't dread facing him all weekend.  He was gracious but the matter is still not closed so I will be facing him again probably with more bad news.   My sister says that I imagine things are so much worse than they usually are, and she's usually right but I still can't get past this terrible anxiety in my chest.  I don't always have to take my anti-anxiety med (for me it's Zyprexa) but I am taking it every day right now.  I think it keeps the anxiety so that I don't literally go out of my mind, like I did last year about this time.   I really just want to sleep through it but I am going to force myself to go out shopping - maybe for something professional to face the commander in next week.  Thanks for listening. 
 
Edited to Add:  I have been doing something really fun though - searching for songs on the internet and Amazon to download to my Zune.  56 songs so far. 


Georgie Girl
 
Bipolar, Anxiety Disorder, Rheumatoid Arthritis


megie
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 69
   Posted 2/15/2009 7:51 PM (GMT -7)   
:-)  Turn around and face your Lions , like my sis told me long ago .. Seems like you did ...i have to remind her of that sometimes .... Its probably not as bad as you think in your own head .... been there ... you just worry yourself to death .... its probably going to be ok .... sent up a prayer , hugs megie
     You can only change what you can control , you can't change what you can't control .


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/16/2009 8:27 AM (GMT -7)   

Great advice by megie.  Lions and tigers and bears, Oh  my! You can do this.  Everyone makes mistakes so no beating yourself up about this, just do what you have to and you will be OK.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Georgie Girl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 319
   Posted 2/16/2009 12:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Megie and Kitt

Georgie Girl
 
Bipolar, Anxiety Disorder, Rheumatoid Arthritis


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 2/16/2009 12:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Georgie Girl, I think by going to the Commander and bringing the issue up helped a lot. You have to be respected for doing that. Hang in there and remember to stay in the moment. No what-ifs. If this job is stressful on a daily basis, I would suggest looking for another while keeping this job. Or, maybe you can transfer to another position.

Please let us know what happens.
Anxiety Disorder/Mitral Valve Prolapse
 
Prozac and Carvedilol


Georgie Girl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 319
   Posted 3/9/2009 10:47 PM (GMT -7)   
I have posted a couple of threads about my work issues. I need to post again so I went back and grabbed the first old one I could find though I created a more recent thread.

This work problem has exacerbated. I mishandled it at the beginning with the best of intentions and it has gotten worse and worse.

Aries suggested if my work is regularly causing me stress, that I look for another position. Boy, does it ever and should I ever.

Problem is I was promoted to this position without a college degree (not usual) and there is nothing I could transfer to that would even come close to the same salary. And I am the main breadwinner in our family. The good thing is I have only 18 months until I am eligible to retire.

Now of course, this issue consumes me 24 hours per day. Anxiety. And of course I can't sleep, which helps no one.

I prayed about this issue and was going to church to pray all through the service yesterday but got sick in the night with a gallbladder attack so wasn't able to go. There is some reason God isn't answering my prayer on this issue - or well, I should say that he is probably answering my prayer, just not in the way I've asked.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers and encouragement. shakehead
Georgie Girl
 
Bipolar, Anxiety Disorder, Rheumatoid Arthritis


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/10/2009 5:09 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning,

I understand your problem and with only 18 months to go it would be very hard for you to start over in a new position.

I am going to post a list of  ways to be more assertive that may help you through the issues you are dealing with.  I do  not expect that this will all pertain to you but take away with you ones that will help you survive in your job.

Use feeling-talk. You can express your personal likes and interests spontaneously rather than stating things in neutral terms, You say "I like this soup" or "I love your blouse" rather than "This soup is good," You can use the phrase "I feel" or "I think" when it is appropriate,

Use appropriate facial talk. Your facial expressions and voice inflections convey the same feelings your words are conveying. You can look people directly in the eye when conversing with them.

Disagree mildly. When you disagree with someone, you do not pretend to agree for the sake of keeping the peace. You can convey your disagreement mildly by looking away, or grimacing, or raising eyebrows, or shaking your head, or changing the topic of conversation.

Ask for clarification. If someone gives you garbled directions, instructions, or explanations, you can ask that person to restate them more clearly. Rather than going away confused and feeling dumb, you can say, "Your directions were not clear to me. Would you please go over them again?"

Ask why. When you are asked to do something that does not seem reasonable or enjoyable, you can ask, "Why do you want me to do that?"

Express active disagreement. When you disagree with someone and feel sure of your ground, you can express your disagreement by saying things like "I have a different view of that matter. My opinion is. . ." or "I think your opinion leaves out of consideration the following factors. . ."

Speak up for your rights. You do not let others take advantage of you when you feel put upon; you can say no persistently without feeling guilty. You can demand your rights and ask to be treated with fairness and justice. You can say, "I was next in line," or "Excuse me, but you will have to leave as I have another appointment now," or "Please turn down your radio," or "You're half an hour late for our appointment." You can register your complaints firmly without blowing up.

Be persistent. If you have a legitimate complaint, you can continue to restate it despite resistance from the other party until you get satisfaction. You do not allow one or two no's to cause you to give up.

Avoid justifying every opinion. In discussion, if someone continually argues and asks you why, why, why, you can stop the questioning by refusing to go along, or by reflecting it back to the other person. You can state simply, "That's just the way I feel. Those are my values. I don't have to justify everything I say. If justifying is so important to you, you might try justifying why you're disagreeing with me so much."

I hope your gallbladder attack has fled by now and remember, try to stay in the moment and don't let the  job run your life.  I know that sounds easy but I have been in your shoes and I let myself get plowed down by the job.

Hugs to you
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


dixibella
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 3/10/2009 6:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Georgie Girl!
Sorry to hear about your anxiety, its hard since it always seems to run away with us, but definitely if you're feeling anxious 24/7 it sounds like perhaps you need to go back to your doctor to see about making a new plan to deal with your anxiety. At least so you can make it through the next 18 months. I think you did the right thing by notifying the commander, but really, you are human, you make mistakes, and I'm sure you learned from it, now its time to let it go. Sometimes just by hanging onto things we make them worse than they are. Accept that you made the mistake, you took responsbility and were held accountable (a brave thing since MANY people refuse to do either out of fear!!!), and take away whatever learning you can and now you have better understanding of how not to let it happen again. If you are still feeling bad about it maybe a couple visits with a counselor might help so you can let it go. The workplace is hard because we spend so much of our time there but it shouldn't be a constant strain worrying over one incident. Try to relax and think positive. I think your accountability for the matter shows that you are a great employee... I wish I could get the same sort of response out of the people I work with when they make a mistake!
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