Kitt needs help................please

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stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/17/2009 11:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Friends,
My sister is finally having her cancer surgery on Thursday.  It has been a long haul since she first arrived in MN on August 13th but Thursday is the day.  She is having the radical mastectomy and ovarian cancer surgery.
 
As her only sibling I am feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders right now and fighting my anxiety and depression.
Her children will be here, 2 of them but they fight and don't get along...............

I have been "told" what is expected of me which basically turns out  I will be expected to be at the hospital 24/7 so my sister never has to be alone.............. I have no idea on how to get around this without causing more family feud and I do not want to be in a family fight over why I must be the one. I am grateful to each of you who have prayed for us and who have sent cards to my sister...........Gem's she got your card and was thrilled as well as Meg's. :-)
 
So if I am offline, I would appreciate it if some of you might check in on the GERD Forum.
 
I am also weaning off my Antidepressant but holding right now until this surgery is over and my sister is hopefully on her way to a full recovery.
Yes I am staying in the moment but I am struggling.
 
I am in tears a lot lately as I am fighting  the anticipatory anxiety..............please help,  I feel very alone.
 
Thank you all,
Kitt
 
 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Post Edited (stkitt) : 2/17/2009 3:55:01 PM (GMT-7)


Celey
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 2/17/2009 11:23 AM (GMT -7)   
*Hugs* I don't know what to say, Kitt.... I hope your sister comes out of the surgery okay. Your family should be more lenient on you.... I'm sure this is a hard time for everyone. It's not the time for fighting... It's time for uniting.
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


Marie-Claire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 2/17/2009 11:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt.... dear friend... keeping you and your sister... her children... yours... everyone in my prayers...
Am praying for some respite from your anxiety, some resolution in your family so that all doesn't fall on your tired shoulders, a quick recovery and successful surgery for your sister.
You are in my thoughts and prayers always.
Be of good courage... God will provide you with the strength to get through it. Rely on your husband, friends, HW.... be open and honest . You WILL triumph over all these road blocks and trials.!
Much love always.... and prayers with every beat of my heart.
Mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.
 
 


Green Grove
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/17/2009 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey my Sainted Sis,
 
I'm so sorry that everything is falling on your shoulders again.  I know how worried you have been about Beverly, and my prayers have not stopped.  As far as your family is concerned, I think you are handling things very graciously because you are the type of person that knows how to be a lady while everyone else falters.  IMHO, you should not be being told to do anything. . . You already take it all on yourself anyway and they should be grateful to have such a wonderful person in their lives.  At the appropriate time, you can lay down the law when it comes to respect, and I sure hope you do Kitt.  You do not deserve to treated like this and I'm praying for you as well for the strength to make it through this stress with you anxiety and depression under control.
 
I just sent a card this morning overnight so it should get there tomorrow around noon.  You might have to check and make sure that you sis's mail gets delivered to her before the evening, cause I'm sure she will want to rest.  Don't worry about anything here.  I will check the GERD forum for you and help Karen if she needs it.  You take care of you sweetie and keep you chin up.  We all love you and are here for you anytime you need a friend.  I found a couple of songs that reminded me of you. . . The first is from me and the second is from Grandma whom sends her love and prayers to you and Bev.
 
 
 
Gentle Hugs and Much Peace,
Your Bro :)

Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 2/17/2009 1:55 PM (GMT -7)   

You take all the time you need, and know we are praying for you and are here to support and encourage you. You are facing a big battle, but yet again you are doing it with strength, dignity and kindness.

We LOVE you,

Maz XX


            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Phenergan.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


Twistedmentality
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 164
   Posted 2/17/2009 2:41 PM (GMT -7)   
you are always there for us now its our turn to be there for you. chin up high !

shedontwearsocks
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 60
   Posted 2/17/2009 3:02 PM (GMT -7)   
hi kitt,

i'm so sorry you are going through this very difficult time, but you are a very strong person and you have tons of resources at your disposal :)

we will all be thinking of you and praying for you and just remember: if things get too bad you can always find comfort here

best,
megan

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/17/2009 4:54 PM (GMT -7)   

I do need the hugs, the prayers and the support so I thank each of you.  I went back to taking long nap today and I so thought I was out of that mode.

Sam, thank you so much.  The songs were perfect and I cried as I love Dolly, her words hit home. ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))

Hugs

Kitt



 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


AuroraRavencrow
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 2/17/2009 5:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry that you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. I too, know just how you feel. My family is the same way. If something happens, I am the one that has to be there because they are all too busy or off doing something else. I really hope that your sister comes through her surgery with flying colors. Just try and make sure you stay in the moment and take everything step by step. We are all here for you!!

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/17/2009 5:25 PM (GMT -7)   

Aurora,

Thank you so much, every word of encouragement helps as I do not have any close friends and this is the only sister I have.  Lost my parents and all my aunts and uncles years ago. Lost my friends when I retired.

So thank you so much for your support.

Kitt


melbe
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 77
   Posted 2/17/2009 6:38 PM (GMT -7)   

I'll be praying for you and your sister!  Sending you happy, calm thoughts and lots of HUGS.

Mel


Junebug05
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 717
   Posted 2/17/2009 10:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,
 
I'm sorry that you have been going through so much lately.  I will be praying for you and your sister.  You hang in there and just walk away from the family drama, you don't need to deal with that right now.  Love and hugs to you!

melodee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 800
   Posted 2/18/2009 1:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,
 
I have been there...actually, I had to go thru the same thing last month when a family member was in the hospital. But I did get thru somehow. It wasn't easy, but I did make it. So I know YOU will get thru this, too! I'm praying for your sister, YOU and your family. Just don't forget to take care of yourself, too while in the hospital. As for family drama, vent here as much as you want, we are here to listen and support you all the way!
 
Love Melodee :)

Julie1014
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 1245
   Posted 2/18/2009 3:37 AM (GMT -7)   
(((Kitt))) I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I am sending big hugs and prayers your way, as well as prayers for a successful surgery for your sister. Blessings, Julie
Diagnosed with Crohn's March 2006, Fibromyalgia November 2008
Asacol 3 times a day, Remicade 10mg/kg every 4 weeks, Prednisone 10 mg, Miralax,  Prevacid 30mg, Vit B12, Vitamin D, Slow-FE (Iron), Hydrocortisone enemas
Imuran stopped 9/8/08 (possible Pancreatitis)
Paxil 40mg daily (for Panic disorder)
Xanax .5mg as needed (for anxiety attacks)
 
 
 
 
 


mom2three
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 97
   Posted 2/18/2009 6:30 AM (GMT -7)   
I just wanted to send big HUGS you way...holding her hand and keeping your sister calm will hopefully help you to do the same. Many prayers for you and your family.
Panic Attacks (since age 10) & General Anxiety with a little OCD thrown in there
Biggest Challenge - Panic; Biggest Joy - my 3 cute kiddos (ages 1, 2 & 5)
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/18/2009 6:36 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you each of you. It is early Wednesday morning here in MN and I am already in tears..........darn this Anxiety.  I have now been asked to come up to the Cancer Lodge and spend the night with my sister tonight and be there to go with them in the morning at 0600 to the hosptial.  I am one of the 2 caregivers that can actually sleep at the Lodge in her room with her. Let me rephrase that as I cannot sleep in the hard twin bed that is in the room for the care giver.  So I will be the one helping her with her bowel prep and that means I will be up most of the night.  I feel so bad for her and yet I pray my crazy head and body can hold up to the stress.

I woke up to snow this morning, just enough to make the roads a mess and life more challenging.  smhair

I know I will make it through,  I just wish my own children were available to be there with me.

I am taking all of you with me...............so welcome to MN.

Love

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6484
   Posted 2/18/2009 8:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt

My thoughts are with you and your family

hugs

ben

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/18/2009 9:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Hope you are getting at least a little rest today Kitt.  It sounds like you are in a long one my friend.  Take care and my prayers keep coming :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Although the world is full of suffering. . . it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/18/2009 10:41 AM (GMT -7)   

I am breaking, I am falling................I just found out that I have to stay at the lodge tonight with my sister, be up by 4:00 AM and help her do her bowel prep and her preop scrub then be at the hospital at 5:30 am..........I don't know when I will get to sleep again and I really need to rest to be able to function and keep the anxiety at bay........I am sitting her crying and praying and wondering how will I get this done. 

I have to drive in the rush hour traffic to get to the lodge, none of my own family is available to give me a ride and pick me up when I am ready to come home...........they are all to busy.  I have no one..........

I just want to run, what is it all for?  I feel so weak and my hands are shaking.  My niece is staying with her hubby and daughter tonight so they all get a good night's rest.

Am I being selfish, I feel so selfish and whiney...........what is wrong with me.  My sister is fighting for her life.........and I can not pull myself together..........

Please pray, please..........

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


paniccu
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1009
   Posted 2/18/2009 10:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Praying for you and your sister. I am sorry that the weight of everything is on your shoulders! Her kids really need to put their differences aside for awhile and grow up.

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/18/2009 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   
I just prayed again Sis and sent you and ecard. . . It is nice that you can be with Bev and be able to help, but you have to have time for you to my friend.  I sure hope with everything that you get enough rest to take care of you.  Hopefully a miracle will happen and some of your family will step in to shoulder some of the burden.  I do not think you are being selfish at all, and those younger family members would do well to let you get some rest instead of the other way around.  I would be ashamed to do that to an older relative that I know needs the R & R more than me, so I don't understand them at all.  You are not being whiney either Kitt. . . Your sister is fighting for her life yes and you are a great sis to her right back, but you are also fighting the same battles on a different level.  That is not selfish or bad in any form.  You have been dealt a hard hand and all you can do now is pray and focus yourself to pull out all of your training and strength to get through this.  You will not be alone, cause I know I am with you in spirit along with all your beloved family and friend on here. . . Make sure that when you are at the hospital that you spend any spare time you can to be in the chapel.  I do that as well, and it is so helpful to be close to God during such a stressful time.
 
Love you and holding your hand!
 
Your Bro,
Sam :)

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2279
   Posted 2/18/2009 11:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,
You are the sweetest person I have ever known. I join Mary in praying that your sis's family will sort things out and quit the bickering for once.

For you, I'm wondering whether they can up your meds to help you get through this tough time. Maybe they can increase your dose or give you something stronger so you can sleep. Sleep makes everything seem better & there are meds that will put you to sleep no matter how uncomfortable the bed. I would think it might also be worthwhile to check into possibly getting your anxiety meds increased until you're through the hard part. Also, please do check at the Cancer Lodge to see if they have a caregivers support group. I know a lot of those places do & it could maybe be a place to get out some more of your frustrations whenever you can't be on-line :) or to swap ideas about how to cope with others who are on the same journey.

It's so admirable that you are there for your sister, but please take care of yourself too. You matter just as much as your sis & your problems are just as important even if it doesn't always feel that way.

hugs & prayers,
frances

Sira
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 2/18/2009 1:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt


I pray for you and your sister. you are a wonderful person who helps everyone.
take care of yourself, remember you are a very strong person.

sending hugs and prayers.

Sira

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/18/2009 1:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Everyone is so awesome in their prayers and well wishes for our Kitt!  I know she sure appreciates it and let's keep them coming for her in her time of extreem need right now my friends :)
 
This is what a Peer Support Group is all about and I'm proud to be a member of our A/P Forum!

machelle
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 491
   Posted 2/18/2009 1:46 PM (GMT -7)   
my prayers are there for you both , she the best wishes your way that she will be o.k.


love ya, big hugs
machelle
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