Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered. The older looking one asks the other, "What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me." The younger looking one replies, "Who listens?"
When he got to the psychiatrist's office, Bubba said, "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.""Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.""How much do you charge?""Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor."I'll sleep on it," said Bubba.Six months later, the doctor met Bubba on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see about those fears you were having?" asked the psychiatrist."Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money, I went and bought me a new pickup!""Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?""He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!"
can't wait to hear from everyone else~
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…
Bob and His Blonde Wife
Bob and his wife live in Toledo, Ohio. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..........." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through?
With the married to Blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
Kicks and Giggles,
Post Edited (stkitt) : 2/24/2009 6:52:21 AM (GMT-7)
A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently breaks wind.Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to crap yourself when I tell you the price.'
"Define the moment or....the moment will define you!"
Blonde in a Snowstorm
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work at Wal-Mart. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it.
As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite sometime had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped,the driver got out, came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snowplow driver wanted to know if she was all right, since she had been following him for a long time.
She said she was fine and told him her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard. The driver replied that it was fine with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to Kmart next