The New Jokester's Corner!!!

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Green Grove
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/18/2009 1:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello  tongue  
 
I thought it would be nice to start a new joke thread since the others are buried now. . . And as a challenge, I would like everyone to find jokes out there that pertain to anxiety, recovery or healing :)  Have tons of laughs looking through jokes to find them. . . I dare you to smile!
 
Laughter is good medicine my family so here we go!!!
 
 
Sam yeah

Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 2/18/2009 5:03 PM (GMT -7)   
I found a couple medical jokes online. Here's the ones I found funny:

A doctor is to give a speech at the local AMA dinner. He jots down notes for his speech. Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read his notes. So he asks, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"

And...

Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night's sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different.
A few weeks later, Joe's former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful. "Doc!" Joe says, "It's amazing! I'm cured!"
"That's great news!" the psychoanalyst says. "you seem to be doing much better. How?"
"I went to see another doctor," Joe says enthusiastically, "and he cured me in just ONE session!"
"One?!" the psychoanalyst asks incredulously.
"Yeah," continues Joe, "my new doctor is a behaviorist."
"A behaviorist?" the psychoanalyst asks. "How did he cure you in one session?"
"Oh, easy," says Joe. "He told me to cut the legs off of my bed."
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


shedontwearsocks
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 60
   Posted 2/18/2009 5:06 PM (GMT -7)   
The joke thread is a fantastic idea! now I expect LOTS of participation here...we all need a good laugh from time to time tongue smilewinkgrin turn
 

 

Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered. The older looking one asks the other, "What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me." The younger looking one replies, "Who listens?"

 

When he got to the psychiatrist's office, Bubba said, "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.

"I'll sleep on it," said Bubba.

Six months later, the doctor met Bubba on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see about those fears you were having?" asked the psychiatrist.

"Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money, I went and bought me a new pickup!"

"Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!  Ain't nobody under there now!" turn

 

can't wait to hear from everyone else~

   

shedontwearsocks
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 60
   Posted 2/18/2009 5:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Celey,
 
great minds must think alike! our jokes were awesome smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 2/18/2009 5:17 PM (GMT -7)   
This was in the Readers Digest but I actually have seen the lisence plate at the VA

So there was this purple heart winner's personalized licence plate it read: DUK2L8

Ducked too late...what a great sense of humor about getting shot
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


shedontwearsocks
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 60
   Posted 2/18/2009 5:20 PM (GMT -7)   
nice one, navy!
 
it reminds me of the saying "if you don't laugh, you'll go crazy"
 
it's good to know this person has a sense of humor about an obviously difficult event.

Julie1014
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 1245
   Posted 2/18/2009 5:25 PM (GMT -7)   
There was a support group meeting for people suffering from Agoraphobia, but nobody showed!! LOL!

(I hope this doesn't hurt anyone's feelings, as I was agoraphobic at one time.....)
Diagnosed with Crohn's March 2006, Fibromyalgia November 2008
Asacol 3 times a day, Remicade 10mg/kg every 4 weeks, Prednisone 10 mg, Miralax,  Prevacid 30mg, Vit B12, Vitamin D, Slow-FE (Iron), Hydrocortisone enemas
Imuran stopped 9/8/08 (possible Pancreatitis)
Paxil 40mg daily (for Panic disorder)
Xanax .5mg as needed (for anxiety attacks)
 
 
 
 
 


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/18/2009 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Roflmbo :) I started this a few hours ago and just signed on to laugh my rear off!!! You guys are great :)

I don't think that your joke is bad Julie and I have agoraphobia. . . It's actually so true for me at least, lol!
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Although the world is full of suffering. . . it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


shedontwearsocks
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 60
   Posted 2/18/2009 8:22 PM (GMT -7)   
LOL!!! @ julie's agoraphobic joke, that was great!

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/20/2009 3:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Check out this cartoon. . . Gotta smile on this one :)
 
 
The website has tons more great jokes on it as well.
 
Sam :)

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/20/2009 4:14 PM (GMT -7)   

Bob and His Blonde Wife

Bob and his wife live in Toledo, Ohio. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."

Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..........." then the electric power goes out.

Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through?

With the married to Blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Kicks and Giggles,

Kitt


Post Edited (stkitt) : 2/24/2009 6:52:21 AM (GMT-7)


gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 2/20/2009 5:29 PM (GMT -7)   

 

A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to crap yourself when I tell you the price.'
 

Gillxx blush


 

"Define the moment or....the moment will define you!"

xox

 


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/24/2009 6:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Bump for more laughs. . . Maybe we can just post anything within HW guidelines right now :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Although the world is full of suffering. . . it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/24/2009 6:54 AM (GMT -7)   

Blonde in a Snowstorm

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work at Wal-Mart. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it.

As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite sometime had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped,the driver got out, came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snowplow driver wanted to know if she was all right, since she had been following him for a long time.

She said she was fine and told him her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard. The driver replied that it was fine with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to Kmart next

Kicks and Giggles from Kitt

babblin5
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 70
   Posted 2/24/2009 9:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Sign hanging on a Conference room door:

OCD SUPPORT MEETING
KNOCK TWICE 7 TIMES BEFORE ENTERING
Thank you!
___________________________________________________________________________

"Come to the edge," he said.
"We're afraid!" they replied.
"Come to the edge," he said.

He pushed them, and they flew...


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/25/2009 1:59 PM (GMT -7)   
lol, these are great :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Although the world is full of suffering. . . it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 

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