Why do we fear going crazy or having a serious mental ilness???

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BrazilGirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 2/24/2009 2:22 PM (GMT -7)   
As you guys can see from my constant posting I've been having a very anxious week and I'm only able to talk to my doctor tomorrow because it's the holidays!
 
I've suffered from panic attacks/anxiety for 6 years and since day 1 my fear have been "going crazy" having schizophrenia, or some serious medical conidtion. I've seen various doctors and have a therapist for over 2 years that see me weekly and ALL of them have told me that I AM NOT going crazy, I'm NOT going to have schizophrenia or any other serious mental ilnesses. That people who go crazy don't realize they are going crazy,they just do, and most importantly, it's impossible for someone to be for over 6 years "waiting to go crazy". I mean, I'm still sane talking to you guys now, and I've had anxiety for 6 years!
 
However, on my worse cycles, I am ALMOST positive that I AM going crazy and AM losing my mind. Specially with the dreamy/unreal feeling.
 
Do you know why we are so scared of this? Am I the only one that fear going crazy or a more serious mental ilness?? I just feel like I'm on the verge of losing it and it's SO scary!
 
The thing is, when I'm talking to friends I am absolutely normal and can shake the feeling/fear, but when I'm at home or going places I feel very anxious, scared, dreamy and like I am about to lose my mind! =[ It's SO scary!!!
 
I was fine just last week, just depressed/sressed over a break-up with a bf, and now I just feel like I'm about to go crazy!
 
However, I've been diagnosed with panic/anxiety for years and I haven't gone crazy yet, why would I suddenly go crazy? But when we are having an anxiety period,it always feels like the worse and that this time, it's for good.
 
Why do we fear going crazy???
 
Is it possible to go crazy of panic/anxiety and this horrible feeling dreamy/unreal symptom?

Post Edited (BrazilGirl) : 2/24/2009 2:25:36 PM (GMT-7)


mom2three
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 97
   Posted 2/24/2009 2:36 PM (GMT -7)   

Firstly...BREATHE :-)    You are okay...

I know, it does sometimes feel like the panic/anxiety is making you crazy.  I have had similar episodes.  And it is a typical symptom of panic disorder to have "depersonalization" or feel "dreamy" and disassociated with reality - it is a common side effect, so you are not alone!  I often feel "separate" from myself/my body (if that makes sense to you) and I sometimes feel like everything in the world is "hazy". (sorry for all of the quotations, but this stuff can be difficult to describe)

And I'm not sure what "going crazy" means...but I do think that extreme anxiety and panic can make one feel helpless, afraid, detached from reality and neurotic!  These effects of the disease out of control can certainly feel crazy - I've been there for sure.

What always gets me is how my mind can do a complete 180 degrees...in the middle of a panic attack, I am 100% absolutely certain that I am having a heart attack, going to stop breathing and die.  I am 100% certain of those things and nothing can convince me otherwise.  Yet 2 hours later, when I'm doing a jigsaw with the kids or chatting with a friend, I think, "is this is same brain that was just convinced it was going to die?  how insane is that?!?"

Anyway, you are okay...but I'm also very glad that you are seeing your doctor tomorrow - don't downplay how you are feeling!

(HUGS)

 


Panic Attacks (since age 10) & General Anxiety with a little OCD thrown in there
Biggest Challenge - Panic; Biggest Joy - my 3 cute kiddos (ages 1, 2 & 5)
 


BrazilGirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 2/24/2009 2:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks hun! It's been horrible not to have my doc around when I need her SO badly!! I guess my problem is that I'm at home and not on my routine so I ONLY think about this panic and how this feeling will never go away! However, when I breathe, chat, or talk to people it's like, ugh, I'm NORMAL, this feeling is part of anxiety and it WILL pass!!! I remember when I first had panic attacks the "dreamy" feeling was the last to go away. It just seemed that at 16, I was more brave than I am now at 22. Crazy huh?

Vin
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 312
   Posted 2/24/2009 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   
thats part of the condition of panic disorder. everyone i know that suffers from panic disorder think the same thing "i am going crazy, im bipolar, im schizophrenic, im this, im that" you also think you are going to die, etc. thats just part of the condition and its very very common when you have panic disorder to think those exact same thoughts. it doesnt mean you are crazy or whatever, but thats the cycle and its NORMAL as part of the condition.

how do you like that?

Vin
History: UC/Chrons since age 22, now 27.  Several huge flares since then.  Entire colon diseased at some point from cecum to rectum.  Also had previous inflammation in terminal ileum.
Currently: flare -9/19/08 - now|Panic Disorder - 6/25/08 - now|Lyme Disease - 12/09/08 - now|Dysplastic Nevus Syndrome - 6 recent mod dysplasia moles excised, and many more to shave biopsy.
Drugs: prednisone 30 mg|6mp 75 mg|lialda 4.8 mg|Paxil 50 mg|Klonopin .25 mg|Trazodone 50 mg|PRN Perc/Tramadol
 
 
 
 
 


babblin5
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 70
   Posted 2/24/2009 9:47 PM (GMT -7)   
You can take comfort in knowing that your body is acting exactly as it should, and you are very normal, believe it or not!

When our bodies get a flood of adrenaline, and our heart starts racing, our palms sweat, and we feel spacey, those are the exact physical reactions our bodies should feel. It's called the Fight or Flight response, and it is meant to protect us from danger. Blood and oxygen rush to our arms and legs so that we can either run away really fast or fight it out if we have to. We anxiety/panic people just have a Fight or Flight switch that is too easily flipped on for some reason or another, and since it's part of our brain that's acting that way, we wonder if we're going crazy or something, which again is perfectly natural. Humans have feelings. We are human.

What's kind of funny is that we can actually create that spacey feeling very easily by breathing rapidly and deeply for about 30 seconds or so. Swimmers often do this just before a race to flood their bodies with oxygen so they don't have to take a breath as often. I even used to do that to hold my breath under water for long periods of time! Maybe the fact that you feel the same lightheadedness and tingly arms and legs as you do when having a panic attack will reassure you that everything is working just as it is supposed to.

But more than anything, know that you are fine. We are more normal than we give ourselves credit for. We just don't realize it =)
___________________________________________________________________________

"Come to the edge," he said.
"We're afraid!" they replied.
"Come to the edge," he said.

He pushed them, and they flew...


Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 2/25/2009 10:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Well... I used to have that fear of going crazy or becoming schizophrenic big time... In fact, I became severely depressed during both of my years in middle school, and part in my high school because I felt my future was already decided for me... That I was destined for a mental institution... I believe a lot of this fear came from the fact that my mother is a clinically diagnosed schizophrenic. I have her genes.... thus, I thought it was inevitable that I would become schizophrenic.

Looking back on it, I was really being... illogical... I'm glad that I've overcome the fear... Worrying about going crazy isn't going to do me or anyone else any good... I should just enjoy my life while I can... while I'm still alive... and sane... :)
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


Jen77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2690
   Posted 2/26/2009 1:52 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree that it pretty much goes with the anxiety that we have. My Dad actually did have schizophrenia, mainly brought on by drugs. He killed himself when I was 14. I actually think this is where a lot of my anxiety stems from, growing up with a Dad that had multiple stays in mental hospitals, and several suicide attempts. Was hard on a little kid, and made me fearful of "what's gonna happen next" from a very early age. I think that just rolled in to the health and general anxiety that I have now. But I worried for a long time that I would have it like him. My symptoms are no where close to what he had though.

But I think it's a fear people with anxiety have.
~Jennifer
 
Diagnosed with Crohn's Disease 2/06, and Health Anxiety/OCD 12/08 Taking Asacol, Questran, Toprol XL, and Lexapro.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/26/2009 8:10 AM (GMT -7)   
BrazilGirl

Hey this is Kitt. I know I am feeling a bit crazy right now but that may be due to letting myself feel guilty for taking care of me.

We all feel like we are going a little crazy from time to time but remember to try to stay in the moment and you will be OK. Big breathes and relaxation techniques help.

Kitt

gilly-love
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 2/27/2009 3:07 AM (GMT -7)   
We fear going CRAZY because when we are crazy we have no control over our thoughts. Our lives become out of control!  gillx


 

"Define the moment or....the moment will define you!"

xox

 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/28/2009 2:31 PM (GMT -7)   
..I have to say NO ONE here is crazy IMHO
I have often thought it sometimes but it goes quickly out of my head as I know I would NOT know if I were

Anxiety plays so many different rles in our lives that we have a hard time keeping up and then we go overboard as well ( I did ) about what is wrong

KNOW you are not crazy and plz also know that you are not alone in all of this .......


It is a common part of a/p but not as common as some other issues we face daily at least in my humble opinion

Live your life to the fullest and find something that you can do to take your mind off of this all if you can even if just for a bit

Many ppl DO not get what we go thru or what this is and we ARE alot stronger than we feel..
WE are survivors in this world for sure I believe

Keep up the fight and keep us posted knowing you are not crazy and not alone............LYN

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/28/2009 2:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Sweet Lil Nikki

IF I can climb out of that hole baby I KNOW you can
WE are here for you
YOU know that right
Keep us posted and plz do look after self it can be hard but in the end you will REAP the rewards I promise you that

Luvs
LYN

TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/28/2009 8:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel like this all the time. I have a fear of going crazy... all the time I feel like something is very wrong and I just dont know it. They always say your not really 'going crazy'. But, I dont really get it. Because I feel like something is really wrong, maybe not going crazy...but I feel like I need to be locked up, evaluated by a professional. I need someone to know everything to understand, to see things the way I do. I need them to tell me I am okay only when they see things form my view. Others are so superficial to me. They cant tell my Im not crazy when they dont know how I feel or how I view things. I dont understand how someone can say that.

But, I dont know why we feel this way. I suppose after so long of dealing with this we just feel like we can never be normal, so something must be wrong with us because it justifies what we feel.

hollywasik
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/5/2009 10:28 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Holly,  I made you a new thread and titled it with your name so you would get lots of response just for you.

Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P Forum

Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/5/2009 12:08:03 PM (GMT-6)


hollywasik
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/5/2009 12:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Bring 'em on...challenge me y'all...Thanks Skitt!

spinnaker
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 8/5/2009 4:23 PM (GMT -7)   
I wonder in some situations or some times if those thoughts might come from the reactions of those around us more than originating within us (but being so focused on fighting this terror we forgot what some may have said to us or how they treat/treated us). I remember when I first starting having panic attacks and I had no clue what they were and neither did those around me, I got some responses/comments from family and friends like "What is wrong with you?" "You scare me."  "This isn't normal."  "I'm afraid you're cracking up." blah blah blah. Unfortunately, that did plant some seeds in my head of "Are they right?" "Am I losing it?" "What's next?
 
But eventually getting around others with the same pan/anx and talking about it (group therapy), helped me to then look at others suffering from the same pan/anx trouble and say  "Hey, they aren't insane!". Just scared and confused and looking for help and solutions and an understanding friend. kind of a --They're Okay. I'm Okay. aha! moment.--
Peace to you,
Spinnaker

nanas4
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 51
   Posted 8/5/2009 8:47 PM (GMT -7)   
yes im relating to all these posts. i have been in severe panic and anxiety mode for 6 wks now. im wondering if it will let up again as i went for 7 years or so without panic attacks after my fisrt episode and i was hospitalized. i think the worst thought i have is that noone can really fix this or really knows how to .they experiment is all with meds. i have a therapist telling me i can help myself with thinking and distraction then today my pyschatrist told me i should not go up north for 3 days on vacation with my husband as im not stable. i asked if it wouldnt be good to go to be around people and distract my mind .she said i dont know why you believe this is all in your mind and you keep trying to control it. she says its a chemical inbalance and that if i go i will regress and be worse. so if im not crazy everyone is trying to make me go crazy. i cant relief anywhere. my husband dont even understand this he keeps saying things like snap out of it. if you want to be crazy you will be crazy .and no calming or reasurrance from him at all he said last night i dont know of any illness that can be treated with hugs and kisses. and i have my own anxiety because you are not normal anymore and he is a registered nurse. so im lost .my daughter is wonderful though at least she tries to understand and will listen to me as really its all she can do.

StrongEnough
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/28/2009 6:13 AM (GMT -7)   
BrazilGirl, trust me you are not alone, that is my biggest and constant fear when ever I go through an episode of anxiety. When I am not in an 'attack' I KNOW Im not crazy and not going crazy, but when I am having an attack its hard to be rational and I think of all the ppl in the news who were normal one day then went crazy and committed all sorts of crazy crimes, Im scared that I will end up like that. It helps me to go online and search for the symptoms of schizophrenia or psychosis and see that I DONT have them (hallucinations, delusions of grandeur, etc) Im just scared. You will be ok, and your not going crazy, sometimes you just need reassurance. :-)

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/28/2009 8:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Strong Enough,

Welcome to HealingWell. BrazilGirl was last online in May and this post is from February of 2009. I know the other members will benefit from you sharing so I thank you.

You may want to start a thread of your own so the members can meet and greet you.

Welcome aboard,

Kitt
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