Hi this is Kitt. Fear of general anesthesia is very common, and understandably so. Patients value control highly, and we dread powerlessness above all other threats. So dreading anesthesia is perfectly normal.
We feel the loss and control and it scares us so please know you are not alone.
I have heard that hypnosis may help you overcome misplaced fear of anesthesia. You may want to talk to your physcian re this technique. Now would be the time to start learning self hypnosis techniques so you can practice on your own.
Also premedication for anxiety is a request to keep in mind. Ask for the medication before you go near the operating room.
My hubby has had 3 major surgeries for Crohns as well as just recently a major cancer surgery. I am as anxious as a cat on a hot tim roof while he is under as I have lost my ability to talk with him but I practice staying in the moment and then let out the tears after the surgery is over.
Keep on talking to us and we will help you through your fears.
You have joined a very special family............
Hugs to you sweetie
I am a nurse too and I have seen it all but by far the positive outcomes have always been ahead of the complications of the surgicals in our hospital.
Rarely have we had O.R. patient's that had to be on a ventilator. My husband never came back to the ICU intubated.
I am glad you were able to write down your fears and now you can face them one at a time and remember to stay in the moment.
Finish every day and be done with it.You have done what you could.