Trust - Express Your Trust Issues Here So We Can Deal With This & Move On With Healing

New Topic Locked Topic Printable Version
102 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2  3  4  5 
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

melodee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 800
   Posted 3/2/2009 12:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi guys,


I'm just a bit depressed right now. [img]/community/emoticons/rolleyes.gif[/img] I am tired of people. Dealing with different relationships. Not knowing when I should trust someone...and when I shouldn't. I don't know anymore. I must be a real idiot for not being able to tell when someone is being truthful or not. I rely on my gut instinct. When I feel I can trust someone, I will. I realized maybe 70% of the time, I am wrong. Why can't I just figure out who is being dishonest? I don't want to be too skeptical, and I learned at some point that I should try to trust people, but I always end up making a fool of myself. [img]/community/emoticons/smhair.gif[/img] How can you tell a person is being truthful?



I'm so tired.



Melodee

**********************

Sorry Melodee for butting into your post, but I really love this thread and with what happened to all of us with the Nikki/Garen situation, this would be the perfect place to deal with this issue.

Your Bro Sam

Post Edited By Moderator (Green Grove) : 3/18/2009 12:22:00 PM (GMT-6)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/2/2009 12:25 PM (GMT -7)   
melodee,
Oh sweetie you are preeching to the choir right now...........I am so far down I don't know where up is.
I am afraid of my own shawdow and my self esteem is in the toilet.
 
I just got off of the phone making an appointment with my Pdoc and a new psychlogist.
 
What can I say.............I know how you feel.
 
Kitt
 
 
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/2/2009 12:31 PM (GMT -7)   
That is a very hard question but my way is this my gut and it is pretty darn good at what it does for me

Keep the ones you trust close to your heart.........
.Get rid of others

Know your enemies are not your friends
Backstabbers always get theirs in the end

Lastly but not only
Hold you head high hun you will
LEARN you really will
Here you are cared about and no one plays on ya here

Stay with us

LYN


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 3/2/2009 12:38:43 PM (GMT-7)


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 3/2/2009 12:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Melodee,

I feel like both you, Kitt & Lyn. . . It is so hard to trust others, but there comes a point where a person just has to throw themselves out there (wisely of course) and meet new people, giving them a chance. I think for many of us that have really bad pasts or overthink everything, we tend to be very cautious and also expect people to be "perfect." That is just not possible, because for one there is no such thing as perfection, and second, we are all only human and muck up a lot of things at times. I have battled this for years, and this is my conclusion that works for me and I thought I would share it with you my friend :)

Good luck and remember that you are a good person, and if somebody betrays that goodness, it is their problem because they are the ones missing out!


Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Although the world is full of suffering. . . it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/2/2009 12:40 PM (GMT -7)   
......I know I could not have said
That better than you did BRO
You are truly an asset here and I am so glad to have ya with us


Luvs
sis
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


melodee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 800
   Posted 3/2/2009 1:49 PM (GMT -7)   
 
 
Dear Kitt
Thank you so much for the reply. :) ((((Kitt)))) you are not alone my friend. My whole life is in the toilet right now. Sigh.......  Wish you lots of luck with the new psychologist, Kitt. Please let us know how your appointment goes!  
 
Dear Lyn,
Thank you so much for the reply. :) Glad you brought that up about enemies and friends. Sigh...you know, sadly, one of my enemies is in my family. :( Maybe that is why I have a hard time trusting people. I believed in unconditional love, and I thought my family & relatives are the ones who would give me that. I was wrong. But as we all know, our family does not always make us happy. Real friends do. Thanks for the advice and encouragement, Lyn.
 
Dear Sam,
Thank you so much bro for the reply. :) Like Lyn said, you're a real asset here. I could not have said it better. What a wise man you are. That's exactly what I need to do: throw myself out there and give people a chance. Yeah, you are right again, I expect too much, when I am far from perfect myself. If I reflect on myself, I begin to see what I could not see before. Thanks again for the great input my friend. :)

Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 3/2/2009 2:55 PM (GMT -7)   
There are very few people I trust right now... and that may change... Never know.... *Shrugs* I think perhaps I am a glutton for punishment... I am an optimist... there have been many people I have trusted in the past who have betrayed my trust... Sometimes, I will try to trust them again.... give them a second chance... And I end up betrayed again...

It's gotten to the point where I've been betrayed so much, that I don't think I really care if anyone betrays me again.... (Unless its those few people I trust right now and have trusted for a good while. If I were to be betrayed by a long-held trust like that... I would probably go off the deep end. There's only so much a person can take.)
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


melodee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 800
   Posted 3/3/2009 4:43 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Celey,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post. :) You know, I did the same thing. I gave my friend a second...third chance and she betrayed me again. That is when I decided "I don't want this person in my life anymore" and I told her exactly what I was feeling. She told me she was hurt, and sadly she didn't mention anything about my feelings, or care what she had done to me. It was all about HER. Well I found out later that a mutual friend had ended her friendship with the girl, too. So it wasn't only me. rolleyes

 

 


Post Edited (melodee) : 3/3/2009 5:50:24 AM (GMT-7)


melodee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 800
   Posted 3/3/2009 6:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Garen,
 
Thank you so much for the reply and encouraging words. :) I am sorry your ex treated you that way. That is just wrong. But if you think about it, it's good you didn't marry her because you want a strong marriage that lasts a lifetime and it will never happen with someone you can't trust. I agree with your grandpa that people are not as caring and understanding as they used to be. Yes the world has grown cold...very cold. :(
 
 
 

Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6492
   Posted 3/3/2009 8:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi

I can relate to what you wright as I to find it hard to trust people and put up a barrier and only have close friends who I have known for a long time but on the downside I don't meet any new people. As Sam said this is something I need to work on and need to get the barrier down. Sorry to here you are feeling depressed at the moment I know how that feels but you will get through it and we are here to help you through.

Take Care

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/3/2009 1:17 PM (GMT -7)   
...I have to say that it is sad when your family is your worst enemies
I have and go thru it all the time

KNOW you are better than that and they will COME to see you for what we do sweetie

I also have had so many walls up all my life brick by brick some have come down and it is a good feeling I mean it ....some walls will stay up ...........
BUT
my radar is always on alert especially when it comes to someone hurting my family at home or here

Be well all
Luvs
LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 3/4/2009 6:44 AM (GMT -7)   
I feel the same Lyn. . . I am really protective over those I love, and I do love my family here :) I had my trust broken yesterday (not any of you:) and spiralled down into major depression and anxiety, but I have pulled myself back up again. . . The sadness lingers, but I think and pray that my therapy has finally got into my head enough to keep it from becoming a problem.

It is a cold world, but there are still enough good people and things to warm a person back up again!
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Although the world is full of suffering. . . it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/4/2009 1:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry my Bro that you had trust broken I felt the same today but ya know all is gonna be good once again
WE will get thru this all together as a family should.............Luvs
Sis
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


melodee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 800
   Posted 3/4/2009 1:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Unhappy,
 
Thank you so much for your reply and support my friend! :) I understand about the downside...I used to love socializing and meeting new people, now I see myself isolated, and alone at most times. But I will learn to socialize again, I know I will. Because I have always had it in me. I love connecting with people. :)
 
Dear Lyn,
 
I appreciate your support so much! :) I am always alert, too. I wish I weren't though. I have missed out on a lot of fun. I'm working on it though! I'm gonna keep trying. :)
 
Dear Bro Sam,
 
I am so sorry you had your trust broken yesterday. You deserve the best and should not be feeling the way you are now. Sam, you're a gem, it's not you, it's them.  Yes, there are great people out there too who really care. You are loved here and accepted for who you are. Don't let those people discourage you. Remember, believe in who you are, your strength, the beauty you have inside as a human being. Nothing can take that away from you. :)
 
 
 

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 3/4/2009 11:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Sis & Melodee :) You both are just too sweet, and made me feel so much better reading this, and I know that This Too Shall Pass. . . It will all be okay :)

Lots of love to all!
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Although the world is full of suffering. . . it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/5/2009 1:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Mel
.......I do hope you will not be hurt so much in future

Bro
Luvs ya tons ya know eh........sis
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


justinphil0
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 3/6/2009 4:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Its impossible to tell if a person is being truthful even the nicest people that swear to the earth they have and never will hurt somebody sometimes seem to hurt people. But there are some very genuine honest people out there and it takes a long time sometimes to find them. My best advice I can give is to always trust yourself and love yourself and eventually hopefully someone will come along that u can trust and will never hurt you until then keep your chin up and always believe in yourself even if others let you down.

Justin

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/6/2009 5:14 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree but I also think there are THOSE that do not intentionally hurt and if they do you
can bring it very nicely to their attention ...........Opinion only
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/17/2009 12:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Remember sometimes your guts are the best "Instincts " to trust
That is only my opinion but I feel it is so bleeding true...........

LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/17/2009 1:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Please add your comments to this thread if you care too
We all have ways of dealing with /or not dealing with TRUST

LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


melodee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 800
   Posted 3/17/2009 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Lyn!

Thanks for bringing this thread up again. :) I agree with you that there are times when even great people can make mistakes and hurt someone. But not intentionally of course. I guess it's all about understanding...and forgiving, too.

Melodee

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/17/2009 1:59 PM (GMT -7)   
NO problem Melodee
This is a subject very close to many of our hearts IMHO

God Bless

LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 3/18/2009 2:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Trust is something that is earned, and it sucks when somebody breaks it through manipulation. So sad that people have to do this to others, causing them much fear in their lives and for their future. . .
~Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort~
Your Bro. . . Sam Of Green Grove
~Co-Moderator HW Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"When it is dark enough. . . You can see the stars."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
Not a professional. Please consult your physician before making changes to you meds or lifestyle.
~Please find ways to help HW & check out all of the great resources~
Anxiety 20+ years, Asthma, CF, Costo & Arthritis that requires the use of a cane.
Clonazepam, Ventolin HFA & Probiotic.  Exercise, nutrition, herbs & supplements daily for health.
 


melodee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 800
   Posted 3/18/2009 8:17 AM (GMT -7)   
I think a lot of us will be needing this thread today. rolleyes rolleyes rolleyes rolleyes rolleyes

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 3/18/2009 8:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Amen!
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*
New Topic Locked Topic Printable Version
102 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2  3  4  5 
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, December 07, 2016 5:43 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,006 posts in 301,165 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151301 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, BrisaMeadows.
300 Guest(s), 8 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Joan M, Albannach, AngelsmamaDorseysdaughter, reminder, Stanislav, Bobby Mac, exqualls, SharonZ


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer