Fighting! And starting to feel better! =]

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 3/3/2009 8:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Lovely HW family,
Like you all know, I was having SEVERE problems with anxiety these past weeks and it has been a tough journey!
I know I still have a lot, a lot, to overcome, but since yesterday I have started to feel better. I have started to be able to rationalize my obssessive thinking and at least be like "Ok, I AM real, this IS my life, this FEAR is generated by anxiety and I am going to fight"!
The symptoms of derealization/despersonalization are DEFINETLY fading. Specially here at work and at home. I don't know how I will feel at night or in other places, but at work and at home, I feel MUCH more like myself.
OF COURSE, sometimes I get anxiety about feeling better. How crazy is this? It's like, ok, now that I'm not feeling that unreal or that bad, does it mean I've gone mad? BUT, I can start positive thinking and being like: "No, it doesn't, it simply means I am getting better".
The obssessive thoughts still paralyze me at periods during the day. Specially existencial ones caused by my period of feeling "unreal" like, why am I fighting? What is life? What am I? etc... but I simply think, I am me, I am here, this is the world, this is my life and I'm going to keep living it.
Is it normal for symptoms to shift? Like, now that I don't feel that "weird" my fear gets more focused on the "obssessive" thoughts of "why does this all matter, what is life?" and although I can RATIONALIZE that it does matter because I do love life, it does still REALLY scares me at times.
Anyways, what matters for me is that I am starting to be able to REALLY see the light and although I'm still terrified at times, my happy moments have been more constant. I know it can be a tough day, but I am trying to stay positive and imagine that, like yersterday, this will be a better day and hopefully in a few days I will be able to STOP the obssessive thoughts and go back to my normal self.
Thanks for everyone who prayed and advised me. It meant the world to me.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/3/2009 8:46 AM (GMT -6)   


Whooo hooooooo. This is Kitt.  I am so glad to read you are doing better, there is power in prayer and the members of HW always come through with support for everyone.  It makes me feel so happy to know you are receiving help and caring support here.

You are the one who has done the hard job, we are just your cheer leaders. 

Never give up the battle as remember you are the boss and you control your life. 

You deserve a huge barrel of know one is coming your way through the super highway.


May hope, love, and warmth be in your heart  :-)


Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 97
   Posted 3/3/2009 12:24 PM (GMT -6)   
You sound great! I am so proud of you! Congratulations on fighting through this anxious time

Your thought process sounds so similar to mine with the existential huge questions (that I can't answer anyway!) - I could have written the same sentences :)
Panic Attacks (since age 10) & General Anxiety with a little OCD thrown in there
Biggest Challenge - Panic; Biggest Joy - my 3 cute kiddos (ages 1, 2 & 5)

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/3/2009 1:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Keep up with the fantastic job you are doing with this
YOU are fighting and making this come out for YOU.........

I can say I still get obsessive thoughts going thru head but that is me and I am not focusing on all the bad that has happened anymore
I gave it the boot and feel so much better for it

DO NOT fear that light hun as it is showing or telling you
THat you are doing AWESOME

It is great to hear good news

Thanks so much for sharing with us all
It can help someone else as well IMHO

 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         

Green Grove
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 3/3/2009 1:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Congrats!!! I wish you the best of luck on continued recovery my friend :)
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Although the world is full of suffering. . . it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.

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