I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…
You are a wonder woman..........by now I would have taken off more then one person's head and I would probably have started with your boss but I know you need your job. It is not fair that they are threatening you with cutting your position because you are ill. I do not know how you get up each day and get through the day feeling so awful.
I really wish you could take your physician's advice and go into the hospital as I fear you will get worse and just collapse. The body can only take so much stress and strain.
I completely understand how you feel about body image and all of the anxiety in your life. You have been cheated out of your youth and no it is not fair.
I wish I had the magic wand, but alas all I have to offer is a trip on Meg's Magic carpet ride.........think back to those warm fun days we all had and know we love you.
You have our prayers and support. You have been an inspiration to me and a great support through my trials and tribulations and now I am always here for you.
Oh Maz, I am so sorry for what you are going through. It's so important to our well being that we have a supportive work environment and sounds like right now, you don't have that. Odd that he would come down on you now when you've missed so little work this term when in the past you missed more but weren't called out on it.
I am with you on the weight thing. I take so many meds it's hard to tell which one in particular is preventing me from losing weight. While I have 100 lbs to lose, I can't even lose the 5 lbs that would make my slacks not fit so tight. I hate it with a passion that I am a slave to these meds which make me a slave to food. The Zyprexa that I only have to take once in a while is a killer for weight gain. I was on Depakote also but stopped it on my own due to appetite increase and hair loss (I had recently lost 20 lbs but gained it all back plus 10 on Depakote). It's terrible that we have to deal with emotional health issues AND weight issues.
On your eye situation, did the dr recommend things you could do to slow down the path to glaucoma? I don't have early stage glaucoma but I have other eye issues and my dr recommended certain supplements to help.
I don't know what to say that can help with your work issues. We will try to be here for you.
Anxiety 2007; IBS 2004; Chronic Hives 2002. Medications: Allegra, Zantac, Xanax, Darvocet.
Thankyou ALL so much- old friends and new.
I cant go on disabilty- not because im not sick enough, i am, but because i could not survive financially on disability. it isnt enough to get by with because i created my own problem with credit card debt. I have 2 credit cards and a small personal loan to pay off, as well as medical/phone /water/ electricity/internet bills etc that i would not be able to cover unless i worked full time. Its not a matter of pride, ive been on disability before, back in 2000: too sick to study, too sick to work. Its purely financial at the moment.
I am not sure why my principal has chosen now to take this approach, but i am extremely unwell. I have lived my life as a sick person. i fought the odds and went and got a double degree and busted my butt at university and then again with my career choice- I have just worked a 5 day week, the second one in a row.
I am on oral antiobotics (triple dose), anti-inflammatories, painkillers etc on top of my usual meds just to get one foot infront of the other.
As i am on a temporary-permanent payroll, i dont have the same rights as someone who is employed in a 'permanent' position (ive been covering the same maternity leave position for nearly 4 years now, hence my TEMP/perm status.) It doesnt change the fact that im being blackmailed, it just means i have far less options than some of my colleagues. As i said, im under no illusions about time i have had off in the past- but i am always careful. i scheduled and put off my last surgery to fit in with school holidays so i wouldnt need time off work. that meant ruining my holidays and delaying surgery i needed. i did this because i dont want to let my students and colleagues down.
i cannot afford not to work, but if i need a sick day, then i need it! i didnt choose this lot in life, it is what i have been dealt and i try and accomodate it as best as i can. but i am so frustrated, i went to work with a sinus migraine today which just got progressively worse... i had to prop myself up at my desk, but i did it.
In the current economic climate, i cant afford to lose work, but im damaging my body further and im aware of it. i am rarely, if EVER relaxed. im always switched on. its taking its toll. yes, im overwhelmed and a little daunted and im angry as hell as well. im tired of pretending its all ok, that IM ok, cause im not. im exhausted, shattered, wasted. im in pain. im in an unhappy place, but am making the best of a very difficult situation.
im only 28, but my medical history looks like it belongs to a sickly, elderly person. im not depressed, i am stressed. i eat to comfort myself, which then makes me more stressed.
enough of me whining- i just feel ive given until ive got nothing left to give-
Thankyou for your words of comfort and encouragement and advice- much love always guys, you know my HW family rock!
Celey, i am sorry, my brain is in a fibro fog. i havent been sleeping cos my cat has been sick and ive had to get up every night to tend to her. now that she is better, my sleep is slowly improving. thankyou for your tips. I promise i know the difference between depression and anxiety/stress. if i was depressed, i wouldnt be on here. depression makes it impossible for me to function and communicate with the outside world. XX
Frances, i already moved home. My parents have been great, but filing for bankruptcy is not an option. i earn enough money to pay these bills, and i got myself into this, so i really need to get myself out of this. I understand where you are coming from totally, but i need to work. if i am kept on for the rest of the year, it wont be 5 days a week, it will be 2-3 days which i can manage with my health. its just these pesky 5 weeks of full time work ahead of me, that he is using to 'test' me that will be a struggle. however if i wake up absolutely ILL, i will take time off and he can take a leap. every day of my adult life has been a day where i am unwell to some degree- because i am used to being sick, i function. i just have the misfortune of being reeeeaally unwell at the moment. although im sick as a dog, i am and have always been remarkably strong. Also, at NO time has my principal asked me to leave or given me the option of leaving. Im contracted to the school for the next 5 weeks. XX
Garen, the surgery was last year. i had it done during school holidays. major sinus surgery with 2wks in hospital & a lengthy recovery. however the surgery was not a success and i need to have it done again. not sure when. so far i have had 9 major surgeries (not including day surgery procedures) since i was 14. a good general anesthetic is the best part as i get the best sleep that way, lol.
JustinPhil thankyou for your kind words, truly encouraging.
I thank you all for your words of support, encouragement and your advice. Yes, i am overwhelmed, but giving up is not an option. I do need your support/prayers and i appreciate every single word you all have written. i am grateful.
You have been cheated out of your youth and no it is not fair.
Kitt, that is EXACTLY how i feel. first panic attack at 10- ive had to grow up real fast, and lost alot of joy along the way. being chronically, physically unwell since i was 14 has also made me feel this way.
You hit the nail on the head, my precious ((((((friend))))))