New job, suggestions plz

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Yanick
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 3/4/2009 4:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, I need some suggestions please.
 
When I get a job or about to get one I will start thinking, thinking and thinking about situations that I might encounter at the job, and if I will be able to do the job, I am also a little perfectionniste which annoys me by moment as it is energy consuming. So, after thinking to much about every details of the job and if I can do it well I get only negative thoughts and start stressing then get anxious and most of the time because of that I will quit the job or just not start it. mad
 
Now at 32 years old and now that I know more about myself I would like to fix this out, cause it's been there for to long.
 
I have a new job in my field that I am starting in 2 weeks. I would love to keep it, but I need to stop worrying about every small details it just makes me more stressed, anxious and negative.
 
Any suggestions to stop this or have similar stories?
 
Thanks, Yanick. :-)

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 3/4/2009 10:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Yanick,
I have the same issue. I over think a lot of things & end up sabotaging myself. It seems to me the best way to handle it is to find other things to think about. For me, I really like puzzles. I have some advanced calculus problems that I whip out to work on when I start feeling anxious. I spend a set amount of time working on the problem (very hard to stop, b/c I really want to get to the answer) & then go back to whatever else I need to focus on for the day. In the back of my mind, I keep working on the calc problem and that keeps me from over thinking everything else.

Beyond that, I just have to set strict rules for myself. I don't apologize. I don't go over most of my work more than twice & never more than three times. I know in my head that my best work tends to be the work as I first produce it before I ruin it with 30 revisions. I don't feel very comfortable or safe when I first have to make the decision to leave it alone & move on to something else, but after a few minutes I forget all about it so I think it's okay.

I don't know whether any of that may be of some help to you, but I hope that it is. It is so difficult to just leave things be, but that really is not only going to make you healthier but will probably improve the quality of your work as well. Let me know if there is any way I can help.

blessings,
frances

Yanick
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 3/5/2009 10:16 AM (GMT -7)   

Frances_2008,

Great that sure helped! I am also in the puzzle world more precisely the rubik's cube. I get to sovle it each time in under 3 minutes :-)

I have a passion for problem solving, I guess that's why I studied in the computer field. When I try to solve a problem I stop thinking of my problems.

I guess I have a lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem and from there I start to stress and so on...

At college I never failed an exam, always had good grades. I feel stress and pressure is always there on my shoulder. But why, is it because unconsciously we always have to prove our selves to us or to society.

Yanick


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 3/5/2009 2:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Yanick,
I'm not sure I have the right answer for you. Everyone's different. For me, after a lot of soul searching & research, I've found people in similar situations to mine. Some of us are able to see the problems in our world with much greater complexity than most. We look at a world issue and see how it connects with other issues, all the people who are involved, dozens of possible resolutions & many potential outcomes for each resolution. It is emotionally taxing to see all of that at once, and yet there is really no way to see it any other way b/c of how our minds work.

We want to pick the best solution, and yet no solution is perfect, so -- much like the Rubik's cube -- we keep trying out different solutions hoping to find the one that matches. But life is not like math. There often is no "right" answer. We can keep trying to find it, but never will. It's a hard thing to accept. Very hard for me. But I need to face the reality that my best contribution to this world, the best way that I can approximate a "right" answer, would result from me choosing a path & heading down it rather than suffering through a more careful exam of a couple hundred possibilities.

There is a book that really helped me a lot. It is "Beyond Boredom & Anxiety" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. There are lots of other great books out there, including some that are listed to the right under "Resources", but I recommended this book b/c it specifically deals with anxiety in high IQ individuals. It is a bit more theoretical than other books, but I think it still does a great job of outlining coping strategies both in the workplace and in the social arena. Hope you find it as helpful as I did.

best wishes with your new job & everything,
frances
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