I am so sorry I am just getting to your post. I am the sister and one of the 2 caregivers for a wonderful lady with ovarian cancer. I have spent the last 6 and 1/2 months going through her treatments and her surgery 2 weeks ago and my emotions have been all over the place.
AS she is my only living sister I have many fears of losing her and I have cried in front of her but I think that was ok as she knows I love her and my anxiety history is well known to her so she understands.
She had to come to the U of MN for her treatment and has been living in the Hope Lodge Cancer House for 6 months with her daughter. I go up and stay when her daughter wants to go home for respite.
2 weeks ago I was exhausted mentally and drained physically. I cried all week as I just wanted her to be better and to have life be good again for her and also I wanted to move on with my own life.................that through me into some serious guilt tripping.
How could I be so selfish............. I am human.
Unlike your sister mine just lets everyone else, her daughter and I take care of all, the appointments, the information and just won't talk about how scared she is.
She says she has cried at times and she gets really anxious when something goes wrong but she always tells the Doctors to just talk to my niece and me. She does not take responsibility for her meds. She just puts her decisions in our hands. We have to make her speak up when at the Doctors as her pat answer is "I feel good."
When I ask her if she is depressed the answer is always the same " No,I am fine".
I made an appointment on the 16th with a new therapist for myself as I feel I am falling apart and I have not been in therapy in a long time now. I need help and I am reaching out. Please do consider seeing a therapist for yourself.
You need to stay healthy and well.
So please know I understand how your feeling..................I am living the same issues.