Need some support

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eugenia
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 3/6/2009 1:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Have posted a few times in the past and really got some good advice.
 
My sister has ov. cancer and I am one of her main support persons.  I love my sister dearily and it hurts so much to hear her when she is so frightened.  Today she called me @ work and was crying saying how frightened she was.  I just feel so helpless.  I don't know what to say.  Things are going fairly good considering she has cancer.  She  will be having her 5th treatment on March 12th and each time the cancer in her lymph nodes (groin) go down.  this is the only place now where it still exists.  I just find the rawness of her emotions just really send me in a downward spiral.  I feel lost and scared inside and don't feel like I have a support system myself.  I'm just left sorting everything else myself and sometimes I feel like I'm trying to keep myself together. 
 
I guess I just needed to vent and get some positive feedback!!
 
Thanks to anyone who replies.
 
Eugenia

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 3/6/2009 2:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Awww Eugenia I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I don't blame you for feeling overwhelmed and your emotions feeling so raw. You have alot on your plate right now.

Do you have a therapist or someone you can go to to talk out these emotions? Maybe there is a person at the hospital who works with family members of cancer patients that you could talk to also.

I wish I could give you a big hug right now!! Since I can't do it in person.........Here's a ((((GIANT CYBER HUG)))).

You come here and vent anytime you need. We will always be here for you.

Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

babblin5
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 70
   Posted 3/6/2009 2:30 PM (GMT -7)   
One thing I've come to realize through all my experiences over the years with panic/depression, etc., is that we are MUCH stronger than we give ourselves credit for! We are survivors, and you WILL get through this, I promise!

You just let yourself feel however you need to feel. It's OK.

My heart goes out to you, and know that you have friends here to share both your down times and your up times... =)

Ross
___________________________________________________________________________

"Come to the edge," he said.
"We're afraid!" they replied.
"Come to the edge," he said.

He pushed them, and they flew...


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/6/2009 5:46 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry to hear about your sister
You are there for her and that in my books is the best sis to have
You have us to come to if you want to vent get support and caring as you know

WE will be here for you
I know all will be okay

God Bless
LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/7/2009 8:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Eugenia
 
I am so sorry I am just getting to your post.  I am the sister and one of the 2 caregivers for a wonderful lady with ovarian cancer.  I have spent the last 6 and 1/2 months going through her treatments and her surgery 2 weeks ago and my emotions have been all over the place.
 
AS she is my only living sister I have many fears of losing her and I have cried in front of her but I think that was ok as she knows I love her and my anxiety history is well known to her so she understands.
 
She  had to come to the U of MN for her treatment and has been living in the Hope Lodge Cancer House for 6 months with her daughter.  I go up and stay when her daughter wants to go home for respite.
2 weeks ago I was exhausted mentally and drained physically.  I cried all week as I just wanted her to be better and to have life be good again for her and also I wanted to move on with my own life.................that through me into some serious guilt tripping.
 
How could I be so selfish............. I am human. smhair
Unlike your sister mine  just lets everyone else, her daughter and I take care of all, the appointments, the information and just won't talk about how scared she is.
 
She says she has cried at times and she gets really anxious when something goes wrong but she always tells the Doctors to just talk to my niece and me.  She does not  take responsibility for her meds. She just puts her decisions in our hands.  We have to make her speak up when at the Doctors as her pat answer is "I feel good."
 
When I ask her if she is depressed the answer is always the same " No,I am fine".
 
I made an appointment on the 16th with a new therapist for myself as I feel I am falling apart and I have not been in therapy in a long time now. I need help and I am reaching out.  Please do consider seeing a therapist for yourself.
 
You need to stay healthy and well.
 
So please know I understand how your feeling..................I am living the same issues.
 
Gentle Hugs
Kitt 
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


eugenia
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 3/8/2009 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   
THank you everyone for your kind replies.  Sometimes in going through this I need some understanding.  I try and stay positive but at times it is hard.  When my sister cries and expresses her feelings I am strong for her but inside I feel like I am breaking apart.
 
I have suffered from major health anxiety for a few years now after experiencing my own health issues.  I have never been the same since.  Now that my sister is ill (and coping pretty good) health issues are right in front of me again.  I just want my sister better and life to get back to normal again.  Sometimes I feel like I can no longer do this....I just want someone to hold me.
 
Anyway, thank you all.  This is a safe place to come and vent and everyone is so kind and understanding.  Sometimes that's all a person needs is a little understanding and it makes you feel a bit stronger again.
 
I appreciate everyone's support.
 
Eugenia

chappie
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 3/11/2009 11:26 AM (GMT -7)   
eugenia....what a kind person you are.....I will pray for you and your family and sister esp..God bless you

benzsl
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 3/11/2009 11:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Sorry to hear about your sister. Unfortunately, I have to share something that may not be that useful to you but was/is for me. I have been suffering severe panic /anxiety over the past couple months. SO bad that the only place I like to go and walk around is the hospital since it is in my head that I am having a heart attack. The other day I went and walked all through hospital and found myself in cancer treatment area. I felt so bad for the patients. Here they are really fighting for their lives and up and walking around and I have this problem which is sapose to be all in my mind and I feel I have it bad! It really inspired me to take this anxiety issue on and beat it! The only recommendations I can have for you is to possibly try taking Xanax. It really calms you down and makes you feel relaxed and at ease. Sometimes just 1/2 a 5mg tablet is all that is needed for the day. I feel it is better to take this then start drinking or taking other drugs. Also, it is great to see there is a forum like this where we can all chat and share ideas. I just found it today and there are many out there with similar issues. Goood luck to you and your sister.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/11/2009 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
How is your sister and
How are you doing Eugenia
Prayers and thoughts are with you
LYN


benzsl
Nothing like a good wake up call is there
I am so glad you have decided to fight this with all yo have
There are many worse off then we..........
Thanks for posting and sharing that story with us
It truly touched me

LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN

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