Hey guys, as most of you all know, I have been through possibly the two toughest weeks of my life. Since I'm probably older and with more responsibilities anxiety caught up again with me with a vengeance, after almost 2-3 years of having it very much in control.
I have to tell you all, there were moments where I thought my life WAS over and that I WOULD never go back to my normal self again, and hey, I'm not there yet, I'm still struggling ang fighting, but things are DEFINETLY improving.
I've been to work and classes every single day since these crisis started and now all I can say is it's getting easier to be in those places. My day is SLOWLY getting easier and I have been having more spaces to normal thoughts intead of the obssessive scary ones.
Of course somedays I still need half of a xanax to calm myself in the middle of work but hey, I can look at anxiety on the face and be like "I know it's you, nothing else".
The weekend was a huge setback for me. I felt pressured to go out all the time, and I did, but it was a tough weekend after a good-ish end of week.
This week, not even 2 weeks after I've started the 50mg of Zoloft I already feel MUCH, MUCH better. Monday was good, today was very good and I'm just positive things are only going to get better from here.
Yes I still worry, yes I'm still scared, yes there are times where I still think, gosh this anxiety will haunt me forever or gosh how can anxiety cause all this? But most times now I'm just accepting it and learning to live with it again. One day at a time.
Thanks you all for the immense love and support! For those of you who experience despersonalization and unreal feelings, hang in there, it gets better. Slowly you start to feel connected to the things you love again and when the feeling comes back, you learn that it can't harm you and can't make you go crazy!
Post Edited (BrazilGirl) : 3/10/2009 8:34:32 PM (GMT-6)