Hang in there, and get all the good medical advice you can. I know you've made it through some hard times in the past, and so you're strong enough to make it through how you're feeling now.
The feeling numb thing is tough - you have to decide whether that's okay, how you'll tackle it if it's not (meds, counseling, lifestyle change, etc.), and what your goal is for how you *do* want to feel. My moods operate differently after years on Paxil than they did before, and I've adjusted some of the factors I listed above to get things closer to how I want them. It can be a little slow, but baby steps are okay.
Good luck, my friend!
Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum