Healthy ways of dealing with anger and resentment?

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

oldsoul84
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 3/13/2009 9:43 PM (GMT -7)   
 
I wanted to get a few opinions, im not sure if theres a wrong or right way but i have heard different things.
I had a very abusive ex who i was with for a while, about a year ago the anger i felt towards him re surfaced and i found myself not knowing how to deal with it, i felt frustrated that i couldnt release it back to him because the time had past, it was such a strong awfull emotion it sent me on the most severe panic attacks. Since then i talked about it with my dad who said If you let go at your anger and see him as another person with hes own issues he has to deal with, and get on with your life the anger will subside, because anger hurts u more than the person you direct it to, i have found this to be true and so i havent had another problem. I have also read through buddhist books and so on, that in order to let go of anger we must forgive and let go.
I have felt alot better but in the back of my mind didnt want to focus on it too much.
My psychologist however believes in her opinion that the way she thinks it should be released is to imagine being angry with him and hitting him over and over again untill u feel completly drained and keep doing untill all anger is released, i oppose this and dont feel comfortable with this, that is exacly what i was doing that left me so frustrated that led me to my panic attacks.
I dont see how this is healthy.

oldsoul84
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 3/13/2009 9:46 PM (GMT -7)   
i was doing fine untill my pyscologist triggered my anxiety.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/14/2009 11:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Personally
I would go with what your dad said but that is only my
opionion...........


I wish you all the best in getting thru this I truly do

LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 3/14/2009 11:58 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree with your father & Lyn as well, cause I've had to use these same techniques to move on with my life through many situations. Sometimes that is all a person has to keep the sanity that is still left. . . I wish you the best of luck!
~Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort~
Your Bro. . . Sam Of Green Grove
~Co-Moderator HW Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"When it is dark enough. . . You can see the stars."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
Not a professional. Please consult your physician before making changes to you meds or lifestyle.
~Please find ways to help HW & check out all of the great resources~
Anxiety 20+ years, Asthma, CF, Costo & Arthritis that requires the use of a cane.
Clonazepam, Ventolin HFA & Probiotic.  Exercise, nutrition, herbs & supplements daily for health.
 


melodee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 800
   Posted 3/15/2009 6:40 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree that you shouldn't be destructive when dealing with anger. Visualizing violence like your psychologist said doesn't sound right. You should find other ways of releasing anger. The abuser is the one with issues and does not know how much damage he/she is causing the other person. And if you understand that the abuser doesn't have the ability to control his abusive behavior, as it is part of who he/she is, you will learn to let go. I understand how it is to be in an abusive relationship. It can leave a deep scar in your heart. I still suffer from a lot of hurt and pain from being in an abusive relationship, and it is not easy to just forget. What I found very helpful is to always surround yourself with positive people who support and care for you. Get rid of all the negative people in your life and find ways to release your anger and stress in a constructive way like going to the gym, listening to music, taking a walk in the park, doing meditation and yoga, writing down your feelings, deep breathing etc.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/15/2009 7:02 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning,

There are times when we should get angry and stand up for our rights or the rights of others who cannot do it for themselves.

It is when this anger is not controlled that we get into trouble so please don’t let your anger consume you.

I agree with your Dad and I feel he has given you some very good advice.

Take care and know we are here for you.
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 03, 2016 2:51 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,731,994 posts in 300,980 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151146 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, LadyCapricorn.
229 Guest(s), 1 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
LindaOZ


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer