I’m so glad you feel that I’ve been helpful to you in some way. The support has been mutual, really. Like you said the other day, it's good we joined around the same time....and believe it or not, it actually helps me to read your posts, because despite the age difference, etc., I can relate to many of the struggles you are having with feelings of overwhelm, too much on the plate, wanting so much to succeed, wishing significant people in my life understood better, and so on.
Megan made a good point about seeing if maybe you can take on the more immediate things first. I do find it helpful to break things down into manageable pieces whenever possible, and certainly the old saying about taking one day at a time is very applicable to both of us (hey, probably to all of us!). I know it's hard not to think of all there is to do - I have the same problem - but I do feel better when I just tackle each day as it comes. Sometimes, on a particularly tough day, I have to pick apart my to-do list and pare it down to the very essentials - only the things that absolutely matter that day - in order to cope.
I have a feeling that you are probably doing better at your job than you think! I say this because I see in your posts what high standards you have for yourself, which is certainly not a bad thing….but sometimes we put way too much pressure on ourselves to be at the top of our game at all times, and we forget that we are human and deserve some compassion and some flexibility in our expectations. We are often so ready to provide that to others, and yet find it so hard to give it to ourselves.
The statement that you made about being talented and having the right skills gave me such a lift, because obviously you see your own brightness and abilities, and that’s a wonderful thing! You know, even if it’s deep down, that you are going to make it, my friend. I know this, too. You still have hope and a knowledge of your assets, and I hope you will hang onto that, because it will guide you as you move forward.
Nobody….and I mean nobody….is a machine that can consistently “put their all into everything they do”. Some people may give that impression, but believe me, those folks have struggles, too….they just don’t talk about it with you and me!
Take Megan’s advice about not trying to do it all simultaneously, and see if there is a way, even for a few days, to prioritize things in a way that will spread out the responsibilities a bit. This process of becoming a “competent adult” as you put it really IS a process. There are times when we all feel like other people handle things better than us, and that we’re not where we should be, but that is a natural thing at every stage in life.
I think you are incredibly bright, and obviously care very much about yourself and your relationships. To me, those are great qualities, as well as being characteristics of maturity. Keep hanging in there, Dan. I think you’ll do just great.