Getting better: the importance to keep fighting!

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 3/31/2009 9:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey guys,
It's been a while since I've posted and I guess I'm here to update on my progress.
I'm feeling much better than I was 1 month ago. I can enjoy food again without feeling nauseous, and I feel like I'm slowly starting to enjoy the small things in my life again. I caught up with my favorite tv shows, I cleaned my whole house/closet on saturday, I went out clubbing with friends and was a little less scared... Being at work hasn't been such a struggle. I've been managing my workload with my last quarter of uni AND studying for the GMAT. I'm still casually dating a guy I met last month...
So I guess, my anxiety hasn't really debilated me. I'm still sane, I still have my friends and family, I still have my job, and I'm still graduating from university. People don't think I'm crazy, my friends don't think I'm depressed, my family feels that I'm better and aren't that worried about me. Therefore, my worst case scenario that my life would be destroyed, I would go crazy, lose my job, people would realize I have deep psychological problems, my ex boyfriend would think I lost it because of him, I'd fail university... NONE of that happened! I'm still in one piece and I'm still walking forward.
However, it hasn't been an easy journey. It's an internal journey. It's a slow journey. It's a scary journey. And ultimately, it's a very lonely journey. I'm sure we have support from family, loved ones, therapists, meds... but it's only us that can really help ourselves. Only I know what I go through, only I  know exactly what my fears are and the pain I feel. And I'm sure it's the same with each one of you.
I'm still having trouble with the what if's and the future, making long-term plans, changing my routine. I'm still nowhere near who I was just last year. I still feel despersonalized/unreal at times. I still wonder about life, existence, and get a sense of impending doom when thinking about the future. I still feel a little numb when it comes to my feelings for the guy I'm seeing, or any new guy for that matter. I still really miss my ex boyfriend, and wonder if I will ever be able to find love and connect to somebody else again.
However, everyday I wake up and I fight. Everyday I wake up and do everything I'm supposed to do to achieve my future goals. Everyday I wake up and I don't give up. It's not easy. Sometimes I feel like I'm on "auto-pilot" and just getting by... Then slowly, I start feeling happier, less scared, and at times I even find myself excited about the future. Excited about what the future will bring to me.
The point of this long message is that overcoming anxiety, panic and the depression that comes along with it is NOT easy. It's FAR from easy. It's defintly the hardest thing I've dealt with in my whole life. It also requires a lot of patience. It takes months, and sometimes years to feel confident again after a strong anxiety cycle hits us. And for all we know, we can get better for a few months/years and suddenly it can hit us again. Unnoticed. When we thought we were cured.
All we can do? Fight. Always. With all the strenght we have. Because as much as it doesn't seem like it a lot of times, there's ALWAYS, always a light in the end of the tunnel...

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 3/31/2009 10:04 AM (GMT -6)   
I know how you feel....I fight this crap everyday of my life.....I hate affects me, my children, my boyfriend, everyone in my life...and I am tired of it....I hope I can feel like you do one day....
God Bless you,

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 3/31/2009 10:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Brazil its good to hear you are feeling so much better. A/P is definetly a journey and it sounds like you are finally on the right road:) Keep up the good work!
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 97
   Posted 3/31/2009 11:08 AM (GMT -6)   
So good to hear from you - you sound fabulous! What a wonderful and inspiring post. It's definitely hard work to overcome anxiety, but it's worth the fight :)
Panic Attacks (since age 10) & General Anxiety with a little OCD thrown in there
Biggest Challenge - Panic; Biggest Joy - my 3 cute kiddos (ages 1, 2 & 5)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 3/31/2009 10:23 PM (GMT -6)   

That's wonderful news that you're doing so well!

I loved your post. It's really positive and uplifting and full of encouragement. Thank you.

And seeing your successes is proof that it is possible to win the fight, day by day. Maybe we can't beat anxiety down all at once, but I'm struck by what you said, "I'm still in one piece and I'm still walking forward."

May we all keep putting one foot in front of the other,


Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/1/2009 10:05 AM (GMT -6)   


Your post was wonderful and I am glad to hear you are doing well. You have a great outlook on this disorder.

I have found since I decided to accept the disorder and quit the constant battle that I can deal with my anxiety. 

I know now that I have to work with myself to stay out of the pitfalls and like you I know there will be bumps in the road.  I agree with you, we shall overcome each bump and keep on moving through the anxiety.

I am proud of you. :-)



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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